


What Lives in Shadows

by xaphrin



Series: Shadows [3]
Category: Teen Titans, Teen Titans - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, also BOY OH BOY IS THERE PORN, and saving the world or whatever, being superheroes, much to everyone's chagrin I'm sure, only look! they're all adults now, the academy AU continues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-13
Updated: 2020-08-02
Packaged: 2020-12-14 13:30:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 55,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21016565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xaphrin/pseuds/xaphrin
Summary: Raven's nightmares are haunted by Blood as he searches for a way to claim her in Azarath, prompting Raven to return to earth. She reaches out to Damian and their friends, looking for help and support, and they all team up together to protect not only Raven, but the world from her powers.





	1. Prologue

“ _ There is nowhere you can run that I won’t find you! I will control you one day. _ ”

The bright heat of white-hot flames licked along her skin, and Raven felt a hundred hands hold her to an altar, pinning her down and preventing her escape. Rough stone bit into her back, and around her she could see the fire growing higher, reaching up to the blackness of the ceiling. She struggled against the hands, cursed and spat and clawed, but she was forced to lie there, naked and bruised and splayed out for… for  _ Blood. _

He stood over her, his hands framing her face as he leaned down and kissed her forehead, his fingers sliding between her breasts, digging his short nails into her skin. Her heart was practically pounding out of her chest, but Blood’s stare was drawn to the dark rune etched into her skin. He dug his fingers deeper, as if he meant to rip the rune right from her chest. 

_ “My beloved little gem. You are finally mine to possess. Mine to command. For eternity.” _

“No!”

Raven burst up from her bed and pitched forward, fingers digging into sheets. Metrion and Zinthos cried loudly from her window, before flying off into the midnight sky. Her whole body seemed as though it was burning, as if she were on fire. She could still feel the heat from the flames against her skin, reminding of the nightmare she had just lived through. 

Gasping as sweat soaked through her clothes, she pulled off her soft cotton shirt to see the rune still glowing on her chest, threading out into her veins and lighting her up before receding back into the black marks. It was still there. She was still safe. Raven stared at it, traced its familiar shape and felt the faint edge of scarring from when the needle had dug too deep, but it was _still there._ _She_ was still here. Her shoulders dipped and she let go of a soft breath, her head swimming with a thousand thoughts and fears.

She drew her legs to her chest, sobbing into her hands as she wiped at her face. The comforts of her room in Azarath did nothing to help her, and she felt like she was drowning in this world, like she couldn’t get a good grasp on what was happening to her. This was the seventh nightmare she had like this, and they all started the same - the vivid memory of her last encounter with Blood, but then each one faded into different parts of his sick desire to control her and her powers. Every dream was different, but they were somehow all the same. Some of them were violent, others were sexual, and some were some twisted kind of powerplay. Raven was forced to live these moments through her dreams over and over and over, until she went mad… or she succumbed to whatever Blood was baiting her to do.

She wiped at her cheeks again, feeling under her pillow for the ticket stub she kept there. It was faded and worn, the name of the movie chipped off the paper, but something about looking at it made her feel like she still had roots on earth. It made her feel like Damian was still sitting next to her, her head resting on his shoulder as his fingers tangled with her own. 

Taking a deep breath, she rested her lips against the ticket stub and thought back to the way he looked that night. They were both so nervous and shy, as if they weren’t sure what they were supposed to do next, but they knew that they wanted to keep trying. They had been in love then, but Raven was so far away from him for so long, she wasn’t sure if her feelings were still the same. And she was almost positive that Damian didn’t feel the same either. How could he? They were young and foolish, and they thought they could fix everything on their own. Besides, he probably found some beautiful Gotham socialite to drip off his arm and bat too-long eyelashes at him. 

Raven closed her eyes and let the heavy silence of the room settle over her, the lack of sound almost comforting. It let her slip into an almost-trance, and for a few blissful moments, she imagined Damian resting behind her, like he had been that first night they had spent together. He would be curled around her, his arm slung over her waist and his lips pressed against the back of her neck. She imagined him there, supporting her and protecting her as she worked through this with him, like they should have done before.

Before she ran away.

_ “You’re so worried.” _

Raven tried to imagine the sound of his voice, the way his lips pulled at vowels and rumbled in the back of his throat. Taking another deep breath, she pulled her knees closer to her chest and whispered into the silence around her. “I’m afraid.”

_ “Why? What worries you?” _

“These dreams. They’re happening more and more, and they’re… they’re more than just nightmares. I know that. I can feel him rifling through my mind, twisting my thoughts into something they’re not. I know he’s getting closer to finding me here. Blood is invading my mind to find me, and it’s only a matter of time before he manages to come here  _ physically _ .” 

_ “So then, what do you intend to do?” _

“I don’t know.” Her voice sounded weak to her own ears, like she lost the strength of will that was inside her. “It’s not safe to stay here much longer, not with Blood tracking me. I don’t want to be the reason for the monks demise. They’re in danger, and I haven’t even told them what could happen if I stay.” She pulled her arms tighter around herself, trying to hear the memories of Damian’s voice play against her own thoughts. “I’m afraid what will happen if I tell them the truth. I’ll be forced out… or worse.”

_ “But you’re stronger than that. You won’t let your fear consume you, and you know what you  _ should _ do, Raven.” _

“Blood is coming for me. I know that.” Her teeth sunk into her lower lip, and she felt the realization slip down her spine. Saying it out loud and with such finality made her realize how close she really was to destroying everything here. She needed to be  _ smarter _ about this, but  _ how? _ What could she  _ possibly do? _ “I don’t know what to do to protect them and myself. I only know that I can’t hide here any longer. The rune on my chest won’t hold him off forever, and I know I need to find a permanent solution, but I don’t have any more answers than when I left earth two years ago.”

_ “Two years, seven months, and sixteen days.” _

Not that Raven was counting or anything. 

She opened her eyes and found her room just as dark and silent as it had been before. She was alone, she had always been alone, and there was only one way to fix it. She pressed her hand against the rune on her chest, feeling it pulse gently under her touch. Going back to earth was dangerous. Yes, she had friends and help there, but it also meant that she would be closer to Blood, and putting those same friends in the path of danger. The rune warded her while she was on earth, but it wouldn’t protect her forever. It would only be a matter of time before Blood found her and tried to consume her again. And what happened if he  _ finally _ managed to break her control? Could she trust her friends to still stick with her? She didn’t know, and nothing made sense anymore. 

Drawing in on herself, she closed her eyes but didn’t fall back asleep. Instead she lay there and listened to the stillness of the world around her, the slight breeze that swirled just outside her window, Metrion and Zinthos making noise a little ways away. Her heart pounded, the blood rushing into her ears, and Raven knew what she had to do. She knew she had to return to earth. The monks were peaceful, had protected her while she was young and taught her everything they could, but staying here was too dangerous. 

But going back there was sure to put herself in danger, and… and her friends. She pulled her chin against her chest and let go of a soft breath, imagining the vapid smile of some girl clinging to Damian’s arm. He had his own life to live now, one without her, and if she went back, would she be able to keep herself from seeing him? The Damian of her memories had kept her company while she was in Azarath, but the Damian on earth wouldn’t be the same Damian she remembered. He had likely changed, and Raven wasn’t a part of his life anymore. She couldn’t just reappear in his life and expect everything to be the same again, she knew better.

He let go of a deep sigh, burying her face into the cool pillow under her head. But she knew that her mind was already made up. She couldn’t do this on her own. She needed help, and there was only one person she could go to who’s help she actually trusted. If Damian still believed in those words he told her years ago, then maybe she could survive this. 

_ “I love you, you dumb idiot.” _

Raven’s hand tightened around the ticket stub and she opened her eyes, staring into the complete darkness again. 

She just hoped she could protect everyone from herself.


	2. Chapter One

Damian Wayne had a damned laundry list of things on his mind - he had an efficiency and redundancy report that was due on Tim's desk tomorrow, and then a paper for his college professor that was due by the end of the week. Dick wanted him to go out on patrol tonight to keep him occupied, and Jon wanted to go out later and meet up with some friends from school - under the guise of a  _ study session _ . Tch. Like anyone they knew actually studied at a bar. Damian figured that Jon honestly just  _ liked _ flashing around his new ID, although he wasn't exactly sure why, it's not like alcohol actually got him drunk.

And then there was the response Zachary was still waiting for - was Damian going to meet him in San Francisco to follow what was likely another dead lead?  _ No. _ Probably not. He’d followed too many dead leads already, and he wasn’t sure if his heart could take another let-down. For the first few months after Raven had left, Damian worked harder than even he could have imagined. He worked with Zachary (much to his own confusion and frustration) and they both tried their absolute best to find someway to bring Raven back  _ and _ keep her safe. But, it didn’t do much good. Weeks turned into months, months turned into years, and eventually, Damian felt hope slip from his fingers. There was only so much disappointment he could take, and every “lead” they followed turned into another dead-end.

Damian pulled out his phone and finally responded to the text that Zachary had sent him last Saturday:  _ Can’t. Work. School.  _ His thumb hovered over the send button, and he shifted on the balls of his feet, suddenly feeling anxious. Maybe if he pulled an all-nighter tonight he could finish his paper and his report, and if Zachary used a spell to get him to San Francisco…  _ no _ . No. He needed to  _ stop _ thinking that way. That’s not what he needed to do. 

He didn’t need to go flying to the other side of the country to just chase ghosts, he’d done that enough already. True, he didn’t want to think that Raven was gone forever, but he also knew that last thread of hope was fraying with every passing day. He needed to face the facts -  _ Raven was gone.  _ She had left that night after Blood attacked, and, as far as Damian knew, she was safe in Azarath, where she should be - far away from Blood and far away from earth.  _ Forever. _

That was something he was going to have to learn to accept.

Damian took a slow breath before he finally pressed the send button and shoved his phone in his pocket, a long stretch of heavy silence enveloping him. Staring out of the window of his office, he followed the slow, gentle roll of a thick mist that was coming in off of the bay. A storm would be making landfall tonight, which made him feel a bit helpless. Storms  _ always _ made him feel that way. It made him remember the last night they spent together, both of them aching as he finally admitted he loved her. 

He bit the inside of his cheek, the pain giving him some kind of clarity, and tried not to feel guilty or selfish. The letter she had written him was shoved in a dresser drawer, unopened and unread for well over two years. Reading it would have been to fully admit that she was gone, and he hadn’t been ready to accept that. Instead, he ignored whatever she had said to him, and kept trying to find her and bring her back. 

But, maybe it was time to finally get closure. Maybe it was time to accept that she wouldn’t be coming back, and she was gone. He closed his eyes and shifted again, pushing the sudden rise of emotions into the pit of his stomach.  _ She was safe. She was gone. She was safe. _

It was a mantra he had to keep repeating to himself just to make sense of it all. Scrubbing his face with his hand, Damian threw his bag over his shoulder and started out the door, feeling his phone vibrate as he stepped down the hallway. Probably Zachary, giving him some kind of lip about how Damian should try harder.  _ Bullshit _ . Damian had tried hard enough, it was time he started to live again. 

“Ah, Mister Wayne!”

Damian glanced up to see his brother’s secretary coming up to meet Damian, his pace frantic. Damian paused and turned to him. “Mm?”

“Ah…” The secretary stared at him, wide-eyed as he shuffled through a small steno pad, filled with half-notes and scribbles in messy handwriting. “There was someone looking for you this afternoon when you were in a meeting with Director Drake, but I didn’t quite catch her name. I know I wrote it down somewhere in here. Where is it…” He flipped through a few more pages, looking panicked. 

Damian lifted an eyebrow, annoyed. He wasn’t entirely sure why Tim kept this guy around, he was completely incompetent half the time, and the other half the time was spent racing around Wayne industries trying to put out fires  _ he _ created. “And? Did you at least look at her?” 

Damian couldn’t imagine it was anyone he met at a party. Although, a few girls he had been introduced to  _ had _ found their way to his office more than once, chirping incoherently about “what a nice time they had” and “Damian wasn’t like other boys”. It was  _ annoying _ , and Damian knew it was only because his family name was on nearly half the buildings in Gotham.

“Ah… petite girl? Dark hair and eyes? Kinda pretty?” 

Damian sighed and started walking towards the elevator, ignoring the secretary as he chased after Damian. Definitely  _ not _ the girl father had made him take to the benefit two weeks ago, so that was a small blessing. She had been an empty, vapid thing, and Damian could barely stand to be around her for more than five minutes. But she was the daughter of some important business partner, and close to Damian’s age. For father, it had made sense to include her, and to  _ get Damian out more _ , as ridiculous as that sentiment  _ really _ was. 

The secretary was still flipping through his steno pad, trying to find his note. “She said her name was… ah, darn it. I think it was a bird of some kind? Sparrow? Canary? Wren?”

Damian nearly tripped over his own feet and he whipped around to stare at the secretary. _A bird_. _A_ _petite bird with dark hair and eyes_. His heart stopped and he nearly forgot to breathe as images filled the back of his mind. It was as if that thin thread of hope suddenly re-wove itself into something stronger, and Damian clenched a fist at his side. “_Raven?_”

The secretary snapped his fingers, his eyes lighting up. “That’s it. She said her name was Raven. Sorry, she didn’t leave a contact number. But she said she would try you at home?” He gave a teasing smile. “A girl from school, maybe?” 

Damian ignored the jibe and made his way to the elevator, his heart now racing in his chest. It couldn’t be true. He had to be wrong. There was no way that  _ Raven _ was here. Raven had left this world over two years ago and returned to Azarath. He reminded himself everyday that she was gone, because that felt like the only way he could really start to move on. The elevator shot down to the street, and his right arm ached as if he could feel the brand still burned there, but he ignored it. The bond was gone, transferred to Blood in a deal gone bad, and Damian was left with only memories. But sometimes, he still imagined that he still had the mark etched along his skin, a memory of her.

The rest of his trek back to his apartment was a blur of emotion, and he was pretty sure he had nearly barrelled over someone as he tore across the crosswalk. It didn’t matter. He had to know the truth -  _ was she back? _ And if she was, why now? Why after all this time that he had spent chasing ghosts was she now back in his life? And why was she searching  _ him _ out? It didn’t make any kind of sense to him.

Rain started to fall, and it soaked through his suit, but he barely felt the water on his skin. He couldn’t focus, couldn’t think beyond the singular hope that the buffoon of a secretary was right. Raven was…  _ here? _ Damian tried to pull his thoughts back down to earth, and he shook his head again. No. No, she couldn’t be. She had left forever. She was in Azarath. She wasn’t on earth. That was impossible.

But, still… 

Damian reached his apartment building in record time, and he took the elevator to the penthouse apartment, feeling like the ride stretched out into eons. Jon was home from school right now, and if there was anyone who could talk some damn sense into him it was Jon. As annoying as it was, at least Jon was sensible, if  _ annoyingly _ optimistic. The elevator doors opened and Damian hunted through his pockets for his keys as he stood in front of the door.

“Oh, good! You’re here!” Jon threw open the door and grinned at him, his expression easy. “I tried to text you, but you didn't respond.” 

Damian felt almost relaxed by that shock of black hair and too-blue eyes. Jon would tell Damian was being ridiculous, and he needed to hear that. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, the sound completely unlike him. “I… got some news before I left. I was a bit preoccupied.”

“We have a guest. She said she knows you… ah, Raven?” 

Damian swallowed, uncertain how he should feel.  _ No. _

Jon craned his neck around the wall past the entryway and looked at someone hidden from view. “Right? Raven?”

“Mm.”

Her voice was just as husky as he remembered it. The low rumble of noise that sounded like a stream in a completely silent forest. Damian swallowed, and he moved slowly, trying to remind himself that Raven  _ was gone _ . She had  _ left. _ She  _ wasn’t here. _ He needed to be sensible about this, and giving himself false hope was only going to hurt him in the end. 

He rounded the wall leading into their living room and felt the world stop as he saw the back of her head. Of  _ Raven’s _ head. Her hair was a little longer and a little darker than he remembered it, but he would recognize her anywhere. She turned slowly, her eyes dark and wide as they met each other’s stare. 

Damian didn’t know what to do. 

It felt like the world stopped. 

Raven stood up from where she had been sitting, her eyes wide and she flushed, tucking a loose lock of hair behind her ear. “Ah…  _ hi _ .”

_ Hi? _ That’s all she had to say? She’d been gone for two and a half years goddamned years, and the first thing she said to him was  _ hi? _ Damian didn’t know whether to be mad or laugh. His eyes widened and he stared into her face. 

Titus sat up from where he'd been lounging next to Raven, and nudged her hand before crawling off the sofa and trotting over to where Damian stood. He made a loud whine and Jon shifted, his eyes darting between Damian and Raven, obviously sensing the tension between the two of them, but unsure if he should say anything. Damian had never told Jon the full depth of what had happened between him and Raven, and Jon had never pressed the issue. 

"You know what? I'm going to take Titus out for his walk really quick. You two look like you might have some things to catch up on…" Jon grabbed his coat and Titus's leash, practically dragging the massive dog to the door. "I'll be back in a bit." Pause. “I’ll take my time.”

The front door closed and it felt like the rest of the world ceased to exist. Damian watched as Raven sunk her teeth into her lower lip, eyes still wide as her stare traced his face. There was a fondness in her expression, as if she was thinking of a rush of memories that she couldn’t control. She swallowed and shifted, shoving her hands in her jacket as thought that offered her some kind of control in the situation. The silence that rested on their shoulders held the weight of everything they wanted to say, and Damian felt as though he was crushing under it. He took a slow breath as he sifted through his thoughts, unsure of what to say.

He was upset, angry that she had left him without saying good-bye, and hurt that he hadn’t even had the chance to have some closure after what happened. But he was also relieved that she was here in front of him, that she was safe, and that she actually came to him. His emotions were a mess, and he didn’t know what to say to make everything feel right again. He wasn’t even sure if everything  _ could _ feel right again. 

Finally, he growled at her, crossing his arms over his chest and stared. "It's been  _ two years _ ."

"Two years, seven months, and twenty days." Raven flushed and looked away, fidgeting with her sweater again in embarrassment. "Not that I've been counting."

She obviously had, and Damian didn't know what to say to that. He could sense the sorrow and longing in her, and while he wanted to hold onto his anger, seeing how vulnerable she was made him calm his temper. She was just as broken over this as he had been, and he had to remind himself that Raven didn’t  _ want _ to leave as much as he didn’t want her to leave. Still, that knowledge didn’t make it hurt any less. 

He took another cautious step forward, moving closer to her again. He wasn’t sure how he felt about seeing her like this. On one hand, he knew if she was here it meant he got to see her again, but on the other hand, she was here for a  _ reason _ , and it wasn’t likely that reason was  _ him. _ She didn’t come back to earth because she missed him, she came because she needed something. 

Damian felt the hurt twist in his chest again, and he clenched his jaw, keeping his face blank as he stared at her. "So… what are you doing here, Raven? Why, after all the time you spent away, after your valiant speech about how you needed to stay away from earth to protect everyone, are you here now?"

She winced, hearing the bite in his voice and her shoulders hunched in frustration. "I… I'm in trouble. With Blood, specifically. I can’t stay away anymore, and he’s trying to find a way to get to me. He was getting close to breaching the barrier between this world and Azarath, and I had to find a way to fix it. And I knew I couldn’t do it alone." Raven fidgeted again, obviously needing to do something with her hands. "It's complicated, but… I knew if anyone would understand, it would be you."

Damian shifted again, letting go of an annoyed sigh. He could feel his defenses start to break down, like they always did when she was around him. "You  _ left _ , Raven. You didn't…" His chest tightened and he looked away. "You didn't even give me a chance to say goodbye. All I got was a stupid letter, and I… I wanted  _ closure. _ I wanted to know if you were safe, or if you were coming back… I  _ needed _ to know, and I didn’t have any answers."

Raven's shoulders hunched. "I couldn't stay, Damian. You  _ know _ that. After what happened at the movie theater, I knew I couldn’t stay. Blood would have stopped at  _ nothing _ to get to me, including hurting innocent people. Everyone was in danger, and if I stayed any longer than I did, someone could have gotten hurt… or  _ killed _ . I had to make a choice, and I still think it was the right one. I still think that was the best choice for me to leave while we figured this out."

Damian groaned and ran a hand down his face. She was being perfectly sensible and it was  _ pissing him off. _ Of course she was right, leaving had been the right decision, and he knew that. He just wished he had the chance to make sense of it all, with  _ her. _ "Zatara and I looked _ everywhere _ for you."

"You worked with Zachary?” She blinked, obviously still processing that bit of information. " _ Willingly? _ ”

Damian felt his lips twitch as he fought off a smirk. And, just like before, she disarmed him in seconds. The tension in his shoulders dissolved and he took another step closer to her, trying to keep her at as much of a distance as he could. He knew the moment he got too close, or touched her, his control would dissolve. He wanted to try and be angry with her, but looking at her made him realize how much he  _ fucking missed her. _ He wanted to wrap his arms around her and pull her close, but it had been  _ so long _ since she had been here, and he wasn’t even sure if she still felt the same. Two years was more than enough time for her to fall out of love. 

He sighed and tilted his head to the side, watching her. "So, tell me what made you return? Why are you here if you haven’t found a way to stop Blood and stay on earth permanently?”

"I didn’t have much of a choice, unfortunately. I had to make another decision I wasn’t prepared for.” She fidgeted again, not quite meeting his stare. There was something anxious about the way she looked at him, as if she was worried he would make judgments about her. “Blood is trying to get to me through my dreams, and he’s been threatening to break through to Azarath just to find me. He is getting closer and closer close to figuring out how to break those barriers between worlds, and the monks are  _ peaceful _ . They didn’t do anything, except take in my mother and her bastard half-demon child." 

Her hand curled against her chest, twisting with the fabric of her t-shirt collar between her fingers. Damian caught a flash of a black mark peeking above the hem, and his eyebrows knitted together. What was  _ that? _ What had happened to her in the time she was gone? 

"How  _ is _ he getting to you? I thought he couldn't get to you between dimensions." 

"My father, as far as I can tell." Raven dropped her collar and wrung her hands. "Trigon’s magic has a  _ distinct signature, _ and I can feel him there, at the back of my mind. His magic is forceful and… and it’s  _ painful _ . I’ve learned when it’s him behind Blood’s spells.” She winced, as if remembering a wound she had forgotten, and Damian felt a sudden anger and guilt rise up before he could stop it. He should have protected her better. How could he be so naive? 

Raven pushed at her hair and met Damian’s stare again, her expression cautious. “Whatever deal Blood made with Trigon, it’s making him stronger and more dangerous. It won’t be much time before Blood finds me again."

Damian rubbed his forehead, feeling a headache start to form behind his eyes. This was  _ bad. _ This was  _ beyond bad. _ If Blood had broken through dimensions to get to Raven, there was no telling what else he could or  _ would _ do to possess her. Something twisted in his stomach and he looked back into her face. "So, you're being invaded by Blood through Trigon."

She nodded, closing her eyes. “Through our connection, yes.” Raven took a deep breath and let it out slowly, finally lifting her face to his. There was another stretch of silence between them and she took a cautious step toward him, expression pleading. “Look, Damian. I know that I don’t have the right to be here asking for your help. After how I left things between us, and what I did when I ran away, I have no right to call so easily on our friendship. I need to earn your forgiveness, and I know that. But, I’m  _ hoping _ that you can set aside your anger at me to at least help me try to save the world.”

His shoulders fell and he sighed. “Raven, I’m not mad at you.”

She waited for him to elaborate. 

“I’m not mad  _ at _ you,” he repeated, taking another step closer to her. “Upset and frustrated, yes. But not… not  _ mad _ . I was  _ hurt _ that you left me, and I… I knew that I might not ever get to hold you again, or kiss you, or see that stupid smirk of yours when you feel like you’ve won an argument, or see the way you look at me when you’re happy or content. I wanted the woman I had fallen in love with to be next to me, and without any kind of warning, she  _ wasn’t there _ . And, I didn’t have a way to find her.” He felt embarrassed that he was so open and raw with her, but he didn’t know how else to tell her how he felt. Her eyes were wide, but she didn’t say anything at all, as if she was worried she might break everything between them with a single breath.

Damian moved into her space, feeling years of distance dissolve as he got closer to her. “I wanted to say good-bye, and I never got that chance. I didn’t know if I would ever see you again, or if you were safe, or if you were happy. I didn’t know anything, and I felt…  _ cheated _ . I felt like I lost something I had only just barely begun to understand.” 

He reached out and ran his fingers along the curve of her jaw, feeling that old, familiar scar near her ear. Touching her skin reminded him that she was  _ real. _ He leaned closer and rested his forehead against hers, breathing deeply. He could smell her familiar scent clinging to her, lemon and vanilla just under her skin, and it was as if no time had passed at all. It was like they were still their younger selves, trying to figure out what this was between them. 

Closing his eyes, he leaned closer still, his nose bumping against hers. “I missed you.” His voice was a husky whisper, and he sounded desperate to his own ears.

Raven shivered, and she tangled a hand in the front of his shirt, as if she couldn’t bear to have any more space between them. “I missed you too.”

Damian leaned forward, uncertain if he was allowed to kiss her, but knowing that he needed to, and-

“Hey! I was thinking that maybe we could order pizza and…  _ oh. _ ”

Raven jumped away as if she had burned herself, and her face flooded with color. Damian whipped around to gare at Jon, seeing his sheepish expression as Titus bounded recklessly into the living room. He grinned at Damian before jumping up on Raven, his massive, wet paws soaking through her t-shirt. Titus lapped at her face before looking back at Damian, jumping up on him too. Damian glared at Jon who was now flicking through his phone for pizza delivery, if only to avoid Damian’s annoyed stare. With a sigh, Damian looked back at Raven who was now calming down Titus by scratching behind his ears. 

Damian kept his face blank as he watched her. “Where are you staying?”

She blinked, seemingly confused by the question. “Oh… I… I thought I might just track down someone and crash on their sofa? I had to leave in a bit of a hurry.” She shifted, as if there was a secret she wasn’t quite ready to tell him. “So, I’m without money and clothes and…  _ everything _ , for right now.”

“Oh!” Jon looked up from his phone, his eyes wide. “You can stay here! There’s plenty of room to kip out on the sofa, and we wouldn’t mind the help with Titus for when we go out.”

Raven’s head tilted to the side and she stared at him, her cheeks suddenly flushed, as if her mind was racing through a hundred thoughts all at once. “Go… out? Like… on dates?”

Damian whipped around and glared at Jon, mouthing  _ she doesn’t know, you idiot _ . Jon’s eyes widened and he looked panicked for a moment, scrambling for an explanation. Damian sighed and ran his hand down his face in annoyance. Raven didn’t know about Damian and his other life, and Jon had just nearly blurted it out in front of her. Even worse, Raven was getting the wrong impression of him. This could not  _ possibly _ get any worse. 

“Not together!” Jon was scrambling for an explanation, offering a thin smile. “Obviously! I mean, Dami’s my best friend and we’re not-”

“Jon.” Damian growled and held up his hand, forcing him to stop. “You’re making this worse.”

Jon snapped his mouth shut and held up his phone, walking away. “I’m just going to go order the pizza.” 

“That sounds like a  _ very _ good idea.” Damian sighed before looking back at her, watching as Raven tried to understand exactly what had just happened. He rubbed the back of his neck and looked away, unsure of what he should say to her. “Jon… makes a good point. You should stay here, with us. We wouldn’t mind the extra set of hands around the house, and Titus likes you. So, whatever you need, I’ll help.”

“I appreciate the offer.” Raven nodded before shifting. “So, you and… Jon?”

Damian glared, heat climbing up his neck. “ _ No. _ ”

She pressed her lips together, stifling a laugh. 

-

Raven hadn’t had pizza in well over two years and she forgot how much she missed it. There was something oddly comforting about all the flavors mixing together and it somehow made her feel more at home than anything else. Full, and oddly content, she stood on Damian’s balcony, leaning against the railing as she looked out over the dark skyline of Gotham. Her mind somehow felt like it was both racing and calm at the same time, like she couldn’t stop thinking but that all of her thoughts felt like good ones. 

The wind picked up, bring a cool mist with it, and Raven took a deep breath as she counted lit windows on a building a few streets away. Being back on earth had made her feel like she had completely forgotten how to be human, and she had to learn all over again. 

Damian was trying his best to be patient with their situation, but he was hurt, and she didn’t blame him. She still thought that leaving was the best choice, she just wished she hadn’t done it so recklessly. She wished that she had given herself more time to say good-bye to Damian, but it would have been dangerous to do so. She left because it was the right choice, but now she felt like they were starting all over from the beginning, even if her feelings for him hadn’t changed. Her heart stopped in her chest when she saw him, and when he touched her, she felt like her whole body was going to light up in a show of sparks. 

“Are you staying out here all night? It’s getting cold.” 

She jerked and looked over at Damian as he slid next to her, silent. He didn’t quite meet her stare, but he didn’t move away from her either, and that felt like a metaphor for their relationship right now - not quite  _ anything _ . Raven pulled her sweater tighter around her body and shifted, uncertain what she should feel when he was this close. “I’m coming in soon.”

“Mm…” 

Raven studied him from the corner of her eye, this new version of him and the one from her memories somehow warring with each other. Damian had gotten  _ significantly  _ taller, towering a whole head above her, and he had filled out more than she had ever thought he would, his chest broad and his muscles lithe under his suit. But even with all those changes, there was still something in his eyes when he looked at her that made her feel as though  _ nothing _ had changed, and the world would melt if he pulled too close to her. Her heart sped up and she found herself wanting to get closer, as if this small distance between them was already too much. 

He stood next to her, quiet as he looked out into skyline, a warning silence settling over them. His fingers gripped the metal rail, and he finally spoke, his voice far away and rough. “I feel like we’re starting all over again.”

Raven looked over at him, eyes wide. “You and me?”

“It’s been  _ two years _ , Raven. I can’t imagine that we’re the same people, or that our feelings are even remotely like what they were before.” He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, meeting her stare. “I still have feelings for you, but they’re…  _ complicated _ . Messy. They’re not like what they were before, and seeing you back in my life after I had convinced myself that you weren’t coming back, and I needed to move on, it’s… it’s not making any sense to me.” Damian ran his fingers through his hair and he looked away, heat staining his cheeks. “I still care deeply for you, I just… I don’t know what to do next.”

“I…” 

Raven didn’t know what to say to that. Her heart felt like it was breaking, and her thoughts and words were a jumbled mess inside her. She felt trapped by the curse she had brought on herself, and all it did was remind her that  _ she _ had brought this on. If she hadn’t healed him that day, if she hadn’t run recklessly to Blood, and if she had found a way to stay… this would all be different.  _ Everything _ would be different. Damian was right, it was like they were starting over again, and yet she knew she needed to say something to him, something that made some kind of sense. 

She reached in her pocket and pulled out the ticket stub, putting it in his hand. 

Damian looked down at it, confused. 

“It was my only treasured possession when I was in Azarath. The memory of when things felt…  _ normal _ , even for just an hour or two.” She looked up into his face, and Damian’s shock filled his eyes. “It was the only thing that kept me going, the knowledge that… that once we solved this problem, then maybe things would go back to how they were that night.”

“ _ Raven… _ ” There was the sound of an unexplored universe in his voice, and it gave her some small amount of hope. Maybe, just  _ maybe _ , they could find a way to make this work between them. Damian took a step closer, leaning into her space, and Raven closed her eyes, waiting. 

His phone buzzed, and Damian paused, cursing under his breath. Fishing it out of his pocket, he stared at the screen for a moment before pocketing it again. His expression was sheepish and sympathetic, and Raven felt her heart sink as he pulled away from her. At  _ some point _ they needed to work through these emotions together, but it was never going to happen if they kept getting interrupted. 

“I… I have to go.”

She nodded, secretly wondering where he needed to go at nearly midnight on a Wednesday, but choosing not to press the issue. “Okay.”

Jon popped his head out the patio door. “Hey, we got a text from…  _ Grayson? _ ” Jon’s eyes caught Raven and he gave a crooked, awkward smile. “Said that there were things he needed done… you know, help out with those… things.”

Raven’s eyebrows knitted together and she glanced between them. That was…  _ vague. _ At best.

“I  _ saw _ .” Damian growled and turned back to Raven, his jaw ticking in annoyance. He looked as though he wanted to tell her something, but didn’t know how to say it at all. Finally he sighed and took a step back, putting space between them again. “Jon and I need to step out for a bit. We’ll be back… later. I’m not sure when.”

“Oh. Ah… of course. Sure.” Raven looked between the two of them, confused. Her heart was racing in an odd way, and she could feel the secrets and lies build up between them. Raven closed her eyes and tried not to think of a beautiful, blonde socialite clinging to Damian’s arm and crawling into his lap. But it was too late, the image had already taken root in her thoughts, and jealousy rose up into her throat. She shifted, taking a step back, needing space between her and Damian again. Things  _ had _ changed between them, and she needed to remember that. “Have… have  _ fun _ .” 

Damian gave her an apologetic nod and followed Jon inside, leaving Raven alone on the balcony, lost in her own thoughts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have tried this format with another fic, where it is told primarily from one person's view, and then there's a single/shorter scene from another person's view at the end of each chapter. I genuinely don't know if it works well or not, but I hope it does. If it doesn't, let me know and I will adjust accordingly. THANK YOU!


	3. Chapter Two

Damian glared at his reflection on his phone camera, scrutinizing the injury he’d gotten while out with Grayson. It was  _ bad.  _ He had learned from his brothers and father how to apply stage make-up to cover up some of the worst injuries, but there was no way he’d be able to sneak this past Raven without her being suspicious. And, as if to add insult to injury, it looked like he’d gotten into a bar fight. So,  _ now _ she was going to start speculating that he snuck out of the apartment to do…  _ what?  _ Go beat up people at a bar?  _ Great. _

He touched the gash near his eye, wincing as pain seemed to shoot right through his face and into his teeth. Maybe he could sneak out of the house before she woke up this morning? At least then he wouldn’t have to see her and make up an excuse. Say he was going out for a run and then not coming back… for a day or two while he hunted down someone who could fix this?

Oh, god. He was  _ pathetic. _

"Rats."

Damian turned his glare towards Jon, trying to understand exactly what he meant. “Rats?” 

"Rats!” Jon doubled down on the word and leaned forward, examining the gash. “You… got attacked by rats? Okay, that does seem a little far-fetched. How would rats attack your eye?” He snapped his fingers and stood up. “How about a mugging! Gotham is full of muggings. You’re just another nameless victim to a horrible crime." 

Damian snorted and rolled his eyes. "Raven has been my sparring opponent more than once, she's going to call my bullshit on that one. So,  _ no _ , a mugging is  _ not _ going to be a good answer." He sighed and peeled off his uniform, being careful to keep quiet. Just a few walls away, Raven was likely asleep on the sofa, Titus curled up around her. His heart did a curious twist at that thought, but Damian chose not to dwell on it. He had already decided that they were starting over, and that they were going to try this again - from the beginning. So, it didn’t matter how much he liked seeing her in his life, surrounded by his things. “If we’re going to lie to her, then I’d rather it be something reasonable at least.” 

"Mugging  _ by _ rats!”

Damian paused as he pulled on his sweatpants and gave him another flat stare. He could  _ not _ be serious. 

Jon sighed, defeated. "You know, you could just  _ tell her. _ "

Damian glared, panic filling the pit of his stomach.  _ Tell her. _ Ha! That would go over like a lead balloon. "Try again."

"Raven seems pretty smart, Dami. She's going to figure all of this out soon enough. You might as well bite the bullet and tell her." Jon ran his fingers through his hair, sighing. "I know you want to be all secretive and brooding, and protect her from your darkness or whatever, but maybe you should just get it all out in the open so you have a chance to work through it. And besides, given what you’ve told me about your time with her from before, she’s probably the one person you  _ can _ trust with your family secret."

He  _ hated _ it when Jon made sense. Damian pursed his lips and crossed his arms over his chest, his list of reasons to keep his secret growing every shorter. “Shut up. When I feel like it’s time to tell her, I will tell her. Until then…  _ mugging by rats _ it is." Damian pushed past him, making his way down the hallway to the living room, feeling Jon follow him. 

“I vote for telling her.” Jon sighed again. “She’s going to find out soon enough.”

“Find out what?”

Raven’s soft voice surprised him so much that Damian whipped around and stared at her, unable to speak. It was nearly three in the morning, what in the world was she still doing awake? Titus was passed out next to her, snoring into the sofa cushions, and Raven had the news on the TV, but the sound was muted. She was dressed in one of his t-shirts, and her hair was pulled up into a small, messy bun on the top of her head. His chest tightened as he stared at her.  _ Fuck _ . She was  _ cute _ , and that was definitely not helping his whole ‘starting over from the beginning’ plan. 

Panic settled in again, and Damian blurted out the first thing that came to mind. “I was mugged. By rats.”

_ Damnit, Jon.  _ Damian winced, hoping he didn’t look as frustrated as he felt.

Raven blinked, obviously trying to process what he said. “Rats? You were mugged by… rats?”

“It’s a new gang.” Jon scrambled for an explanation, his voice pitching higher as his own panic set in a little deeper. His eyes darted from Raven to Damian and back again. “The police… uh… they think they’re Metas. A meta gang called the Rats. That’s why Dami’s got a shiner. The only reason. Otherwise Dami could totally defend himself against normal people for sure. Of course. I mean, you’ve seen him in action before, right? No help needed from me or-”

“Jon.  _ Shut up _ .” 

Jon snapped his mouth shut and he forced a grin, that looked more like a grimace. “Do you want some coffee? I’m gonna make some coffee. I think we should all have a cup of coffee”

Raven blinked, and her eyebrows knitted together as she regarded him carefully. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but it should probably be decaf, Jon.” 

“Yeah. Of course!” He forced an almost maniacal sounding laugh and stepped through the living room space to the kitchen, and Damian watched as Raven’s eyes followed him, obviously suspicious. 

_ Damnit, _ Jon. He was  _ not _ helping. Damian’s head fell into his hands and he bit back a curse before he caught Raven’s curious expression, her eyes sweeping over him. It was like she could see through every layer of lie, but didn’t know how to point it out to him, so she chose to stay quiet instead. A moment passed as she shifted, watching him, and Titus finally woke up, taking a few seconds to register that Damian was home before bounding up on him. 

“I can see you’re not exactly in the same condition you left in.” He could see the questions in her expression, but knew better than to try and get him to explain. Instead, she motioned him over to her. “I know it’s a bit of a sore subject for both of us, but would you like me to heal you?”

Would he? He wasn’t so sure. Damian shifted and thought back to the first time she had ever healed him, and his heart did a strange flip in his chest. The one moment felt like centuries ago, and neither of them could have had any foresight on what would have happened then. If they had, neither of them would be…  _ here _ . Damian would have never grown to know her, and Raven would have never sat in his apartment like this. It seemed suddenly strange, how quickly his life could change all because of one, small moment. 

Damian nodded, and sat down next to her, he knee gently knocking against her own. Raven leaned forward and cupped his jaw, her fingers barely touching the gash along his cheekbone. It took everything in his power not to lean into her touch when he felt the warmth of her magic invade him. It slipped under his skin and drew out the sting of his injuries. He closed his eyes, fingers biting into the sofa underneath him, and a soft, shaky breath escaped. This felt…  _ good _ .  _ So damned good _ . 

“Wait. You can  _ heal _ people?”

Damian’s eyes snapped open and he caught Jon hovering behind them, excitement flooding his face as he stared between them. Damian bit back a curse, and glared at Jon. Honestly, he had  _ the worst  _ timing. 

“I’m a… sorcerer? I guess that’s the closest name for what I am.” Raven swept her thumb under Damian’s eye, taking away the sting of the gash before her hands fell back into her lap. “I’m half-demon, and I have magical powers… although I am always a little wary about using them.”

“Oh, wow! A  _ sorcerer. _ Dami didn’t tell me that!” Jon leaned back on his heels, taking in the sight of her. “Well, that makes  _ way _ more sense that you’re-”

“ _ Jon _ …” Damian glared at him, silencing his friend before he said too much. “Go drink your coffee.” 

Jon looked between them again before he seemed to finally realize that this was a private moment between them and quickly disappeared into the kitchen, rummaging through the fridge for leftover pizza. Whatever it took to keep him out of Damian’s hair. 

Raven stifled a laugh and looked up into Damian’s face, her smile softening at the edges. “How was Dick? Did you get… everything taken care of?” Her question was cautious, as if she wasn’t quite sure what she was allowed to ask. Or, even if she  _ wanted _ to know the truth.

The note in her voice made Damian want to tell her everything, but he knew better than to try and unload that on her. Instead, he gave a short nod. “He’s  _ fine _ . Annoying, as always.” Damian hadn’t told Grayson that Raven was back. Actually, he hadn’t told anyone. Something about having her back felt like a secret he wanted to keep, even from those that deserved to know - like Zachary. His eyes darted to the TV screen and watched the images in quiet contemplation. “I see Nightwing and Robin busted up a potential cult.”

“Mm… sort of.”

Damian jerked and looked back at her, his heart falling into his stomach. What did  _ that _ mean? As far as he knew, the raid hadn’t been anything special, just run-of-the-mill cultists, nothing that would have warranted any extra research. Dick and Jon had taken the more docile followers out to get care and help, and Damian had taken out the more violent offenders. Easy. Simple. Nothing out of the ordinary. So,  _ why _ did Raven’s response make him feel uneasy. “How so?”

“Those symbols…” Raven pointed to the red marks lining the walls. “...they’re marks of Scath.” 

Damian felt his heart nearly explode, and his eyes widened as he paused the screen and stared at them. “ _ What? _ ”

“They’re marks from my father, or rather someone trying to get his attention and call him to this plane of existence. Odds are it’s Blood trying to recruit followers so he can try to find and claim me.” Raven pulled her knees to her chest, and she sighed, defeated with her own situation. “Luckily Trigon can’t actually be fully summoned without the final piece of the spell -  _ me. _ ” She gave a weak smile that didn’t reach her eyes and did nothing to reassure him. “So… at least we can thank small miracles. But, it’s not going to be much longer before he realizes I’m back on this earth. Blood  _ will _ find me eventually, and if he’s already started a contract with Trigon, it could be sooner than either of us anticipate.”

Damian didn’t know what to say to that, but he could feel his mind start to race with the sudden burst of fear. What did  _ that _ mean? 

She rubbed a hand down her face, sighing. “I’ll need to contact Zachary and see if he might have any additional wards. The rune on my chest can only do so much.”

His eyes rested on her chest for just a moment before he looked back up at her. “Is that what those marks are? I saw them earlier when we were talking.”

She nodded, her cheeks flushing red. “I had the monks tattoo them into my skin when I arrived back in Azarath. It’s a spell to try and protect me, but… it was failing when I left, and Blood was starting to try and find me. He was growing too powerful with Trigon’s magic, and it wouldn’t have been long before he breached the veil between this world and Azarath.” Raven sighed in defeat, and she curled her fingers around the folds of fabric hanging off her chest. “If he continues to try and invade my mind as he’s been doing, then I’m going to need extra protection to keep you and Jon safe. Because if he finds me…” She trailed off, looking like she wasn’t ready to finish that statement. 

Damian tried to reassure her. “We can handle ourselves.”

“Of course you can.” Raven smirked, but her tone was flippant, almost patronizing. 

Damian ground his teeth together, knowing she didn’t  _ mean _ it, she just thought Damian and Jon were two regular guys living off Bruce Wayne’s money. She didn’t know the truth about him, and he had worked hard to keep it from her, but he  _ wanted _ to tell her the truth. He just wasn’t sure how she would take the news of knowing that Jon was Superboy, Damian was Robin, and the entire Wayne family was a well-trained unit of vigilantes. He imagined Raven probably wouldn’t take that well, and he didn’t blame her.

Damian looked away and rubbed at his forehead, thinking. “If it helps, I can reach out to Constantine if you want.” Damian loathed even  _ thinking _ about contacting him, but whatever he could do to protect Raven, he would do. Even if it meant getting in touch with  _ Constantine. _ Ugh. “He’s a bit of an asshole, but… he’s  _ good _ . And knowledgeable - most of the time.”

Raven blinked, eyes wide. “Constantine?”

“He’s a… spell master? Warlock? General magical nuisance?” Damian didn’t really know  _ what _ to call Constantine, other than an  _ asshole _ . 

Her head tilted to the side in question. “How do  _ you _ know him?”

Oh.  _ Shit _ . Right.  _ Damian Wayne _ didn’t know anyone like that. Robin would have, but not… not a boring college student and the very human, very normal son of a CEO. The lies just seemed to get more and more tangled as Damian tried to help. Maybe Jon was right. Maybe it  _ was _ better if she knew the truth. Damian scrambled for an explanation. “Ah, Zatara, actually. He’s the one who knows him and introduced us. We worked together for a bit when we were trying to track you down in Azarath.” 

Raven’s expression softened, and whatever suspicion she had melted. “I’ll take all the help I can get. So, if that means reaching out to Constantine, I would appreciate it. Even if he  _ is _ an asshole.”

She obviously didn’t understand what she was getting into, but Damian chose not to point it out. He gave her a thin smile and nodded. “I’ll reach out to Zachary in the morning and see what we can do.” 

They fell into silence again, and Damian un-paused the TV, watching the images from the report scroll over the screen. He rubbed the line of his jaw, his mind trying to work through everything all at once. It felt like his world had tipped upside down in just the span of a few hours, and he was trying to make sense of everything. Raven was back. There was a cult. Blood was looking for her by using her connection to Trigon. Blood had made a pact with Trigon. Blood didn’t know Raven was back on earth yet, but it wouldn’t be much longer before he figured it out. So much seemed to change in just an instant, that Damian was still putting the pieces together so that it made sense.

He rubbed the tension in the back of his neck and looked over at Raven. “So… a cult for your father?”

“Organized by Blood.” She closed her eyes and let go of a deep breath, as if the weight of the world was resting on her shoulders. Her head tipped back to rest against the sofa. “With me as their patron saint.” 

Damian’s eyebrows knitted together. “What does he want with you?”

“To make me his bride.” Raven pushed at her hair and looked over at Damian, a dark flush fanning out over her cheeks as she admitted to what was happening. “He transferred  _ our _ spell, the one between you and me. He has your mark because he bastardized the connection you and I had before. He can access my magic if he tried hard enough to break the wards on my body, but… this is easier. Remember, our spell would have only been complete if we had…  _ sealed the bond _ between us.” She shifted, uncomfortable. “While the spell was active, I mean.” 

Damian tried not to think back to the night they spent together. Tried, and  _ failed _ . He could feel his stomach turn as images of her underneath him rose to the forefront of his mind. It had been over two and a half years since he had laid with her and his body still seemed to remember every dip and curve and gasp, and… and this was  _ definitely _ not the time to be thinking about this. He needed to  _ focus.  _ The world was at stake here. 

“So… so what? He just steals you, binds you, and…” Damian couldn’t finish the last part of that sentence, and he swallowed. He couldn’t bear to think about what would happen to her. “And then he has your power for eternity?”

She nodded, defeat filling her expression. Even in the thin light of the living room, he could see the weariness on her face. She looked centuries older than she was, exhausted and drained from fighting this battle by herself for so long, and Damian felt white-hot heat of anger rise up inside him. If she had just  _ come to him _ in the first place, he could have protected her. He would have done everything in his power to break whatever bond Blood created and save her from him, but she was so damn  _ stubborn _ and determined to try and protect Damian. Even if it was at her own expense. Damian bit the inside of his cheek to keep from growling at her, but he knew it wouldn’t be much longer before his control broke. 

“I can’t be controlled by him or this world will fall to Trigon. Blood doesn’t know what he has gotten himself into. He thinks he can just consume me and use me and my powers, but he doesn’t understand that making a deal with my father comes with strings and fine-print.” Raven pushed hair out of her face, sighing. “He’s being reckless in his search for power, and it’s only going to get worse.”

“I’ll do whatever I can to protect you, Raven.”

She smiled softly, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “Well, right now it’s late… so you should probably get to bed for tomorrow. You can’t protect me if you’re not awake and ready to fight.” 

She sounded a little patronizing again, and Damian found himself wanting to tell her the truth again, but he screwed his mouth shut and just nodded. Now wasn’t the right time to blurt out all of his secrets. He would tell her when it made sense, but if he told her now, it wouldn’t mean anything to tell her about what he did in the darkness of the night. He gave her a small smile and stood up, feeling Jon’s eyes on them both, analyzing the exchange between them. Nosy bastard. Damian glared at him and Jon whipped back around, shoving another slice of cold pizza into his mouth. 

“Good night, Raven.”

Raven looked surprised, and she turned to offer him another tired half-smile. “Good night.” She chewed on her lower lip for a moment, thinking carefully about something that was tangling in the darkness of her mind. “And… thank you, for… for everything, Damian. I know that this isn’t exactly easy, to have me thrust back into your life after you’ve tried to move on, but… I just… I didn’t know who else to turn to. You could have turned me away, and you didn’t. You opened your home to me, and that means more to me than I think you realize.” 

Her words weighed heavily on his shoulders, and Damian shifted, trying to find the right words. He should just… just  _ tell her _ . Tell her everything about himself, about what he had been doing while she was gone, about his feelings, that he was pretty sure he still loved her but now everything was complicated, about him and Jon and their late night runs across rooftops. 

But… he stayed silent, and Raven continued, unaware of the war inside him. 

“And… I wanted to see you.” Her eyes met his again, shadows hiding behind them. “Even if you found someone else and were happy with someone new, I felt like… I felt like seeing you would have brought me closure.”

_ That _ nearly pissed him off. Didn’t she know what the hell her recklessness had put him through? He had spent these years trying to find and protect her, and she just thought he’d moved on to… to  _ what? _ Fuck some vapid Gotham socialite? He gritted his teeth. “The way you’re talking, it almost sounds like you’re going to run away again.” Damian stared at her, feeling his breath catch in his chest. “Like this is just a stop before you disappear.”

“No. I don’t… I don’t  _ want _ to leave.” The inflection told him that leaving was another possibility, and Damian didn’t like the sound of that. She reached over and turned off the television, leaving them both in the muted light that seemed to filter in through the kitchen, where Jon was still eating pizza from the box. “But, if we fail-”

“We  _ won’t _ fail.” Damian’s voice was so firm, he barely recognized himself. He sounded so definite, but he knew there wasn’t another option. Failing wasn’t even in the realm of possibilities. Failure meant more than just a few lives were lost, it meant the world would end and be consumed by Trigon and his power. “Whatever happens, we won’t fail, Raven.”

“You sound so sure.”

“Because, I’m-”

His phone buzzed and Damian groaned, fishing it out of his pocket. Grayson. Notes from the fight, and possibilities of the what the cult meant. Information was sent to his secure server to look over as soon as possible.  _ Damnit _ . His brother had  _ impeccable _ timing. Damian shoved the phone back into his pocket, and bit back another curse. He wanted one damned moment with Raven where he wasn’t being interrupted.

“It’s late. Let’s… let’s get some sleep and we’ll talk in the morning.” Damian stepped away from her, sighing in defeat. “We’ll reach out to Zatara and Constantine in the morning, and see what other options we have to ward you.”

Raven nodded, and reached for a blanket on the sofa, pulling it up over her shoulders. “Of course.” 

Damian paused for a moment, feeling a sudden desire to press a soft kiss to the top of her head. She looked so small and vulnerable, like she was going to break easily, and he wanted to protect her and keep her safe. He wanted to find some way to show her that he still loved her, but… his feelings were a mess.  _ Everything _ was a mess. He stood there and stared into her eyes for what seemed like an eternity, weighing all of his options. Jon slammed the fridge door, and Damian jolted out of his own thoughts, turning to look at him. Jon gave a sheepish smile before darting off toward his room. 

Damian sighed and stepped back from Raven. “Good night.” 

He walked into his room, his heart heavy, and felt like the world was crashing over him. How in the world were they going to fix this? 

-

_ Fire again _ . 

Raven thrashed against the hands that pinned her down to the altar, watching as Blood stood over her, his fingers tracing the rune on her chest. Skin melted off his fingertips when he touched it, leaving bony stubs in the wake of the magic, but Blood didn’t seem to care. He just stared at her, eyes filled with a deepening maniacal shadow. Her skin crawled as he paused to circle her breast with the bones of his fingers.

“ _ It’s just a spell, and all spells can be broken.” _

Raven moved to spit into his face, but a hand craned her neck back so that her head tipped over the end of the altar, and she stared into the flames that circled the altar. Raven screamed in pain as ghostly fingers tightened around her neck, cutting off the flow of air. 

_ “Azarath is just a place, Raven. And I can find my way into all places. _ ”

Raven’s heart stilled as a small prayer filled her. He didn’t know she was on earth.  _ Small miracles _ . 

_ “I will find you, my bride. And I will consume your flesh, and we will become one. _ ”

His teeth sunk into her thigh as if to bite out a chunk of her flesh, and Raven screamed, feeling blood drain from the wound and pool beneath her. Her head was wrenched back again and she screamed in pain, feeling him release his hold only to bite down again, blood spilling into indentations carved in the stone altar. Magic was glowing around them, a promise of something darker that was going to come. 

_ “My bride… do not fight me anymore.” _

She closed her eyes as he bit down again, and-

_ “Raven!” _

Her eyes slammed open and Raven looked up into three faces staring at her in shock and worry. Titus licked at her face, nuzzling his nose into her shoulder as if he was trying to wake her up still. Raven barely seemed to register where she was, he mind clouded with smoke and confusion. She scrambled back from them and yanked off the shirt on her body, looking down into the glowing rune just to confirm it was still there, protecting her. Jon flushed and whipped back around, as if trying to offer her some semblance of privacy, but Raven didn’t care about modesty at this point. She just wanted to be sure she was still safe. Or, as safe as she could possibly be given the situation.

Her heart wouldn’t stop pounding, and her breath was coming in short gasps. She felt wild and unhinged, like she was going to shatter into an infinite amount of pieces that would never be put together again. She looked around the room, trying to find something that could bring her comfort, and- 

“ _ Raven. _ ” 

Without another word, Damian gathered her into his arms, pulling her into his lap as he cradled her. He tucked her close to his chest, resting his chin on the crown of her head.

The panic seemed to stop almost instantly. Warmth and softness filled her, and her fingers dug into the folds on Damian’s t-shirt. He murmured something into her hair, but the words seemed all jumbled, like he was cooing to her in another language, and somehow that comforted her more. Her hands were still shaking, but at least she felt like she was on this plane of existence again. Fear twisted violently in her chest and she pulled closer to Damian, listening to his murmur to her in low, rumbling syllables. 

Finally, he lifted his head and looked over at Jon. “I’ve got her. Go back to bed.” 

Jon seemed to hesitate for just a moment before nodding in agreement, and he disappeared down the hall. Raven waited until they were alone before buried her face into Damian’s chest, fighting back a soft sob as he ran his hand up and down her back. Titus half-laid over Damian’s lap, pressing as much of his form as he could against Raven’s side. Minutes stretched out in silence, and finally Raven sagged against Damian, exhausted. Tears had run down her face and soaked his shirt, but he didn’t seem to care.

“How long?” Damian’s voice was a low, warning rumble.

Raven pulled her face from his chest and he looked down at her, his face a steel mask. He looked…  _ angry _ . She’d seen him angry before, but never quite like… like  _ this _ . Like he was about to go rampaging through the streets to find and kill Blood. 

“How long have your dreams been this violent?”

“A… few months I’ve been having dreams… but only in the last few weeks have they been getting so… so  _ vivid _ .” She shivered and pulled closer to him, trying to listen to his heartbeat. There was something about the steady pound of his heart that made her feel like she wasn’t being tossed around in a storm. “And frequent.” 

Damian nodded. There was a long stretch of silence, and he seemed to be weighing options in his head for a long moment before he spoke again. “Sleep with me.” 

Raven flushed, but didn’t look back into his eyes. Was he suggesting…? “W-what?”

“In my bed. There’s enough room, and if I’m closer to you… I can at least wake you up before the dream starts.” He gave a soft grunt, as if annoyed with something. “And I won’t have to haul ass over the length of my apartment just to get to you.”

Raven carefully considered what he was offering - a safe space for her. He was offering somewhere she could be protected, even if the dreams came again, he would be by her side. But… that also meant she would be in his bed. Next to him. While they slept. Together. Hear heart pounded out a frantic rhythm, unsure of what she should say, until finally, she nodded. 

Damian nodded and stood up, gathering her small frame in his arms as if she weighed nothing at all, and Raven felt her blush deepen. Was he… was he  _ really _ carrying her like this? This was unnecessary. She felt him carry her into his room, and Raven heard Titus stretch out on the massive king-sized bed as if this was some kind of game. Damian set her down and hovered over her for just a moment, pushing her hair out of her eyes. Every touch felt tender and careful, like he was trying to stop her from breaking.

“Just for tonight though.” Raven’s voice was barely above a whisper, shaky in the silence of the room. “I… don’t… I don’t think we should keep doing this.”

She just couldn’t remember  _ why _ they shouldn’t keep doing this. 

“Of course.” Damian’s face returned to its usual steel mask, and he moved to the other side of the bed, pulling the covers back. “I wouldn’t want to send the wrong signals between us.” 

Something in his tone burned her, and Raven looked away so he didn’t see the sting on her face. He settled under the covers, and Titus rolled on his back between them, looking from Raven and then to Damian. It was almost as if he couldn’t understand why  _ he _ was in the middle of them. Raven didn’t know either. She wanted to be next to Damian, but she didn’t know  _ how _ to get there. Maybe Damian was right, maybe it did feel like they were starting over from the beginning again.

Raven lay there, her eyes wide as the darkness and silence settled around them like a heavy blanket. Had all this time changed her so much that she had forgotten how to act around Damian? The one person who knew her better than she knew herself sometimes? Guilt and shame filled her chest, and Raven threw her hand over her eyes, trying to still the raucous emotions inside her. Oh,  _ gods _ . She was such a mess. 


	4. Chapter Three

Damian woke up as the barest edge of early-morning light spilled in through his half-open blinds. He was comfortably warm, a soft weight resting against his side. Shifting, he pried his eyes open the barest inch to find Raven half-sprawled across his chest, her face nuzzled into the dip of his shoulder, breathing deeply.

Damian tensed, trying to work out exactly  _ how _ she had ended up on his side of the bed. He lifted his head to look over at Titus, who picked up his head, huffed indignantly as if to say  _ not sure why you didn’t cuddle with her in the first place _ and rolled over onto his other side. In the middle of the night Titus must have somehow crawled to the other side of Raven, and slowly started pushing her body closer to Damian's throughout the night. 

And now she was here, on top of him, deep in sleep. 

Damian looked down at her relaxed face, his lips twitching in annoyance. He didn’t know what to do. Did he wake her up and push her out of bed, or somehow finagle a way out of this mess without disturbing her? It looked like this was probably the first time she had gotten restful sleep in a while, and he felt guilty about waking her up. Raven nuzzled her face deeper into his shoulder, sighing softly, and Damian felt his heart do something strange in his chest. He felt something in the back of his mind tell him that he  _ could _ stay here with her. His arms around her until the afternoon, sleeping peacefully. 

_ No _ . Her words from last night had made it perfectly clear to him where they stood:

_ I don’t think we should keep doing this. _

Honestly, Damian wasn’t entirely sure  _ what _ they should be doing. But sleeping like this was probably not the best way to  _ start over from the beginning _ , or whatever he was trying to do. 

He let go of a soft sigh and stared at his ceiling. His mind was a disaster, and his emotions weren’t much better. He knew that this was going to be complicated, Raven was back in his life after he had convinced himself she was gone forever, and he was fighting to keep his own secrets from her. Although, he wasn’t entirely sure  _ why _ . As much as it pained him to admit, Jon was  _ right _ . Damian trusted Raven with so much, he should at least do her courtesy of telling the truth, especially if she was going to be living with him. 

Everything just felt so damn  _ complicated _ . He trusted her, but he was worried about what she would think of him keeping this secret for so long. And even more than that, once she  _ did _ learn his secret, how in the world was he going to keep her safe? Raven was already a prime target of Sebastian Blood, Damian didn’t want to add every criminal in Gotham to the list of people who might choose to exploit her. 

He gritted his teeth together and glared at nothing, the muscles in his stomach tightening as a reminder of  _ his morning problem _ . On top of all of his  _ other  _ frustrations, now he was lying in bed with Raven, fully aware that he had fucking  _ morning wood _ . Like he was a teenager all over again. Damnit. What an embarrassment. 

He lifted his free arm and ran it over his face, biting back a groan. Raven's arm rested against his waist, and her fingers held fast to the cotton of his t-shirt. It was like she was completely unaware of how damn uncomfortable he was, and he wanted to be mad at her, but couldn’t find it in himself. Damian lifted the heavy comforter from her body to try and kick her out of bed, but saw her still-nude form clinging to him. Heat flooded his body and Damian let the cover fall back against her as he closed his eyes, grunting softly. Well,  _ that _ explained the morning wood. 

This was _clearly_ not starting from the beginning. Isn’t that what they were both trying to do? Start from the beginning? They’d been apart for so long, and had changed so much, that it felt like they needed to start over. But _why?_ _Had_ they actually changed in their time apart, or was it just that he wanted something to blame for this distance between them? Maybe he just wanted a scapegoat - something to blame because he had failed to make sense of anything since Raven came back. 

Damian tried not to think about the few nights they had spent together before she left. How soft she felt under his touch. The gentle curve of her form.  _ Fuck. _ This was  _ not _ helping his problem. The way she twitched against him, reminded Damian that she was deep in sleep, not ready to wake up. And he  _ definitely  _ didn’t want her seeing him and this stupid  _ problem. _

His mind was suddenly filled with thoughts of her waking slowly, looking at him with those dark eyes, and then just swinging a leg around his hip. She’d let the blankets fall to her hips, and then she’d just… 

_ Fuck. _ Absolutely  _ not. _ That is the  _ last _ place his mind should go and he needed to get ahold of himself. 

Damian reached over and snagged his phone off his nightstand. Careful not to wake her up, he somehow managed to escape his own bed and room without making a sound. He snuck into the guest bathroom at the end of the hall, and stared at his reflection in the mirror, frustrated at himself. Is this what his life had become? Using all of his training to sneak out of a bed with a beautiful woman in it? He scrubbed his face with cold water and cursed under his breath. Jesus, he was a damned mess. 

Groaning, Damian turned away from his reflection and tried not to think about anything, desperate to will his erection away. But the harder he tried, the more his mind wandered, replaying old memories. Until all he could think about was how she looked that last morning they were alone… Her fingers wrapped tight around his cock. Her soft, pink tongue teasing him. The way she looked in the mirror, bent on all fours and clawing at the tile of the bathroom floor as his fingers bit into her hips. The sight of her face when she came was a damned  _ masterpiece. _

Damn it all to hell. 

Giving up trying to control himself, Damian pushed his sweatpants down and grabbed his erection. He didn’t try to really pleasure himself, like he sometimes did when he fantasized about Raven. No, this was just to fucking get off so he could get back to his normal life without any more inconvenient interruptions. It was quick and dirty, and a part of him was ashamed, but the other part didn’t care. He only knew that if he didn’t come  _ now _ he was going to lose his damn mind. 

He tipped his head back and closed his eyes, thinking of that first night he ate her out. She tasted so good, and he loved feeling her tighten around his mouth, her body shaking as she murmured his name between her lips. He thought about that night in the back of his car, and how he gladly would have let her ride him if he’d been prepared with a  _ goddamned condom _ . He thought back to every fantasy he had ever imagined, and without much more effort, Damian came  _ hard _ . Every muscle in his body shook, and he sagged against the vanity, his knees threatening to give out. 

God, he was  _ pathetic. _

Damian opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling, letting that delightful hum of pleasure slide down his spine for a few blissful moments before reality settled back in. He needed to think of a better plan to deal with this than to just sneak away to the bathroom and jack himself off like he was a horny teenager. He groaned and cleaned himself up, trying to make a list of better outlets for his tension. Which at this point was literally  _ anything.  _ Maybe what he really needed to do, was go fucking  _ hit _ something. 

Damian threw the door open and saw Jon standing there, his hand raised as if he was going to knock on the door. Damian’s throat tightened, and he bit down on the inside of his cheek to keep his face from betraying any of his emotions. 

“Ah…  _ hey _ … Morning.” Jon could obviously tell something was bothering Damian, and he took a small step backward, holding his hands up in defense. “I heard you get up, I thought maybe-”

“I’m fine.” Damian pushed past him, glaring at nothing in particular. The last thing he wanted to admit to Jon was that he was masturbating like some kid discovering his dick for the first time. “And even if I wasn’t, I don’t wanna talk about it. So, I’m going to go train. Alone.”

Jon ignored Damian’s obvious attempt at getting him to leave him alone, and Jon chased after Damian. “Look it’s not really my place to say anything-”

“You’re right. It’s not.” Damian huffed and tried to ignore Jon as he continued to follow him.

“But,” Jon continued as if Damian hadn’t said anything at all. “You could  _ talk _ to her, you know. It’s easy. You just open your mouth and say  _ I still have feelings for you and they’re complicated, because I run around on rooftops at night and try to save the world and I don’t know how to tell you that. _ ” Jon smirked as he slid up beside Damian. “Or, at the very least, just tell her that you want to bang her so hard she forgets her own name.”

Damian whipped his head around and stared at him. “Shut  _ up _ .”

Jon shrugged, unapologetic. “Look, she’s only been here  _ one night _ , and you’re up at the crack of dawn sneaking around the house and masturbating in our guest bathroom. Do you know what our guests  _ do in there? _ ” Pause. “I mean… what they  _ would _ do in there if we ever had any guests over?”

Damian snarled and shoved at Jon’s chest, but it was like shoving a brick wall. Jon just gave him a teasing smirk, which only infuriated Damian more. Cursing under his breath, Damian threw the door open to the training room and walked in, but Jon followed him, obviously still trying to talk to Damian. 

“I don’t need you trying to  _ help _ me, Jon. I’m  _ fine. _ I just need to control myself better.” Damian stripped his shirt and threw it in the corner, ignoring Jon behind him. 

“Yeah, you’re controlling yourself  _ really well _ .” Jon scoffed. “I mean, first you have her sleep in your bed, and then you sneak away to jack off in the guest bathroom-”

Damian glared, but Jon ignored him. 

“-and  _ now _ you’re hiding in the training room to try and punch your frustration away. So, sorry, if I don’t think you’re handing this really well. But you’re not exactly giving me a reason to believe you.” Jon rolled his eyes. “I get that you need to be all mopey and brooding like your father-”

“ _ Shut up. _ ”

“-but Raven’s a nice girl, and she deserves an actual conversation.”

Damian had half a mind to start using Jon as a punching bag, but chose not to. He’d been hot-headed enough to try that a few times and had always come away with broken knuckles. Damian ground his teeth together and turned away from Jon, not bothering to wrap his hands as he started on the punching bag. He really,  _ really _ needed to hit something, and Jon was not making this any easier.

“Look,  _ Jon. _ ” His words were punctuated by the smack of his fists against leather. “I tried to have a conversation with her, and I  _ did _ tell her that I still have feelings for her, but they’re complicated and confusing, and it’s been years since we had a chance at a real relationship. I fucking  _ said all that _ .” Damian snarled and started punching harder, his knuckles turning red and sore. “The  _ problem _ is that I keep getting interrupted by  _ you _ or  _ Grayson _ or the fact that the world somehow needs saving every two damn minutes. I will talk to her on my own terms, and  _ you _ will shut up about it and leave me alone.” 

“Fine.”

Damian paused and turned back around to look at him. “Fine?”

“Fine.” Jon lifted his hands in defeat and took a step back. “As long as you’re  _ actually _ having a conversation and not running away because it’s hard to talk to girls.”

“I don’t run away because it’s  _ hard. _ ” Damian gnashed his teeth. 

“You do when it comes to emotions, Dami. You’re like…  _ allergic _ to emotions. You just want to be so angry all the time, you forget that there are people who are impacted by your behavior and your decisions.” Jon leveled another stare at him, his mouth setting in a thin line. “Like  _ Raven _ .”

Damian sighed and let his hands fall to the side. “If I tell you I will have a stupid conversation with Raven, will you  _ actually shut up _ and let me get back to what I was doing?”

“What? Punching things so you don’t have to feel real emotions?” Jon shrugged. “Sure. I have to get to class anyway.” 

Damian sighed, just wanting this conversation to end. “I’ll talk to her.”

Jon gave him a smug grin. “I mean, you could always just bone her too.”

Damian rolled his eyes and walked away from Jon, moving back to the punching bag. “I don’t need you standing there telling me to get laid.”

“You could use the relaxation. And I’m sure it’s better than prowling around our apartment looking for a place for your  _ special alone time. _ ” Jon gave him a half-hearted wave and started for the door. “Try not to break all our equipment in your inconsolable rage, Dami.” 

“Get out.” 

Damian glared at the bag, feeling his muscles tense as he turned Jon words over in his mind. Of course he was right, Damian just didn’t want to admit that Jon was right. He didn’t want to admit any of it. Damian didn’t want to start over from the beginning, he wanted to pick up where they left off. He wanted to wake up to this morning a thousand more times, his arms wrapped around her. He wanted to have Raven back in his life, not just as someone he was helping, or a friend, but as a lover. But  _ damnit _ , he didn’t know how to take that step in the right direction. 

So, for right now, it was just easier to  _ punch _ something. 

Damian felt himself turn numb, falling into a haze. He lost track of time, his hands and legs becoming numb as each punch and kick seemed to take just a little more fight out of him and offer him some kind of clarity. Damian finally stood there, his body finally exhausted from trying to fight, gasping breath as he tried to come up with a real plan to try and make this okay. Or at least, try to have a real, uninterrupted conversation with her. 

Damian wiped sweat from his forehead and left the training room, walking into the living room to find Raven perched on the sofa, watching TV as Titus draped himself across her lap. Soft, early-morning sunlight lit her hair and made her look more like a dream than anything else. His heart turned over and he just stood there to watch her for a long moment. Once again, he was reminded how much he liked having her in his life, surrounded by his things, and feeling like she was a part of his family. 

Jon was  _ so _ right. Damian just didn’t want to admit it to his face. He sighed and shoved at his hair, walking up behind her. “You’re up.” 

“Mm.” Raven jerked and twisted her head to look at him. Her eyes widened and Damian watched as a pale blush stained her cheeks, as her stare slid down his chest, resting at the flare of his hips for a brief moment before looking back up at him. She swallowed hard and glanced away fidgeting with a lock of hair that had fallen loose from the messy bun on her head. 

Damian glanced down at his chest, confused. What in the world was she looking at?

“Yeah.” Raven swallowed and looked back at the TV, reaching for the remote to un-mute it. The anchorwoman started talking about a traffic back up, but nothing else seemed all that important. “I was just watching the news. Trying to see if there was any more news about the cult that Nightwing and Robin found last night. Any kind of new detail might be helpful in finding Blood, so… I’m going to keep looking. If it’s alright with you, can I borrow your computer to look at news sites while you’re gone?”

“Yes. Of course.” Damian stood there and stared at her, feeling his admission start to bubble up in the back of his throat. He wanted to tell her about every little detail of the cult - what he had found, what the symbols looked like on the wall, what the followers had been chanting when he and Dick had burst through the front door. But he  _ couldn’t _ . He couldn’t say anything to her, at least not yet. Not until he found a way to tell her the truth.

Damian bit back an annoyed sigh and he noticed she was still dressed in one of his shirts. This was  _ definitely _ making things worse. Seeing her in his clothes did not make any of this easier - keeping secrets and trying to make sense of his own feelings, but this was something  _ different _ . And it felt  _ domestic. _ She looked so small, swallowed by the soft cotton, and he wanted to gather her in his arms and tell her that everything was going to be okay. That he was going to protect her.  _ Jesus. _ He needed to get a hold of himself, he was acting like a sap.

“Is… that my shirt?”

Raven glanced down at herself, heat crawling back up her face. “Oh… Jon gave it to me before you two left last night, just in case I needed to sleep in something. Did you need it back?”

“No.” He walked past her and into the kitchen, hearing Titus follow him. 

His hands shook, but he just shoved them into the pockets of his sweatpants, trying to ignore the way he felt like he was breaking apart moment by moment. Jon was right. He really  _ did _ need to have that conversation with Raven. He needed to take at least a few minutes and try and clear his head, or he was going to shatter into a million pieces. His heart constantly felt like it was going to burst out of his chest, and he could feel the blood stir just below his stomach. Jesus, he felt ridiculous. 

Damian shoved at his hair, turning away from her. “Coffee?”

“Oh… ah, sure.” 

Damian looked back at her and watched as she approached him in nothing more than his shirt. _No pants._ It was one thing to sleep with her topless, but something else entirely to see her standing standing in his shirt. She looked comfortable, like she… _wanted_ to belong here, with him. Stealing shirts and sweatshirts, and… _ugh._ _This_ was what was going to break him? _This? _He was such a _sap._ A soft groan escaped as heat burned through him, and Damian could feel his body react instantly. 

Jon’s words echoed in the back of his mind, replaying like a broken record -  _ you could just bone her too. _ He could. He was  _ seriously _ considering it. Damian glared at Raven as she stepped towards him, and he struggled to keep his own emotions from consuming him. “You’re… not wearing pants.” He blinked and shook his head, still trying to process the sight in front of him. Blood rushed through his ears and he ground his teeth together. “Why… why are you  _ not _ wearing pants?”

“Titus… was hot, and I didn’t want to bother you, and I don’t… I don’t have any clothes. Which you know, because I’m wearing your shirt.” Raven flushed and took a step back, rubbing at the back of her head. She looked around, as if trying to maintain eye-contact with him was almost _too much _for her to handle. “I figured you’d seen me naked-”

“That was over  _ two years ago _ .” His expression turned blank and he shifted, placing his hands on the counter. “A lot can change in two years.

“-so it couldn’t be so bad.” She licked her lips and cocked her head to the side as the coffee pot sang its little tune to let her know that the water was hot, but Damian didn’t turn around. Instead, he just stood there, and stared at her. His patience was fraying beyond repair, and he felt whatever control he had start to snap. 

“Your water is-”

“Take it off.” His voice was a low grumble, like that soft warning sound of thunder before a massive storm. Raven watched as he swallowed another breath, his eyes widening as he pitched forward. She was playing with fire, and he was going to show her exactly what happened when she finally touched the flames. “My shirt… take it off.”

“And… do what with it?”

“Throw it on the floor. Throw it away. Give it to Titus.” He closed the space between them, his hands clenching at his sides. “I don’t care what happens to it, but it needs to be off you right this second.”

Raven flushed, her eyes wide as she tilted her face towards him. “ _ Why? _ ”

“Because.” He leaned closer, towering over her. “I’m going to fuck you right here on my kitchen counter.”

That might have been coming on a  _ bit _ strong, but Damian felt like he was losing his mind. All he could think about was how good she was going to feel under his fingers. How beautiful she was going to sound when she was gasping his name. How sweet she was going to taste when he  _ finally _ buried his mouth between her thighs. That was the  _ only _ thing he could think about, and it was the only thing he  _ wanted _ to think about.

Damian watched her blush crawl further up her neck and darken, and Raven stumbled forward another step. Her fingers twisted into the hem of the shirt, as if she fully intended on pulling it off. Her movements were slow, cautious, but somehow still  _ eager _ \- like she wanted this just as much as he did. Damian watched with rapt attention as she lifted it a scant few inches, showing the barest edge of her soft, black cotton of her underwear. He was already thinking about what parts of her he was going to taste first. How long he was going to take to get her good and hot, and-

_ His goddamned phone rang _ .

Oh, for  _ fuck’s sake! _ Damian growled and he snatched it off the counter as he watched Raven drop the hem of her shirt again. He was going to murder whoever was on the other line.  _ Dead. _ They were completely and utterly  _ dead. _

“ _ What!? _ ”

“Well, good morning to you too.” Tim’s annoyed snort on the other line made Damian want to strangle him. Tim didn’t wait for any more pleasantries. “Bad news, Dami. The 10 AM meeting was moved to 8. We’re going to need you here as soon as you can get here.”

Damian glanced at the clock, growling. “ _ Drake.  _ That’s in twenty minutes.”

“Out of my hands, Dami.” Tim sounded unapologetic, and Damian was starting to imagine stringing him up over Gotham. “I need you here in twenty.”

Damian swore in at least three other languages, and he threw his head back biting back another scream. “ _ Fine _ .” His eyes flicked up to see Raven watching him, confused. “But I’m leaving at one this afternoon and I’m not coming back.”

“Class?” Tim asked, only halfway curious. 

“Personal.”

“Oh?”  _ That _ piqued his interest. “Hot date? Jon mentioned something about having a girl over.”

Damian was going to kill him, in fact he was going to kill  _ both  _ of them. He was going to kill them and scatter their ashes around Gotham as a warning. “Shut up.  _ I’m out at one. _ ” He was driving home that point just to make sure that Tim understood that he was going home and he was going to make love to Raven until tomorrow, maybe until next week. “I’ll get there at 8 for this stupid meeting.”

Tim snorted, annoyed. “Well, bring your normal, cheerful demeanor and I’m sure everything will be just fine.”

Damian rolled his eyes. “Go choke, Drake.” 

He ended the call and picked up his head to look over at Raven. Her shoulders slumped and she stared at him with wide eyes, as if she knew  _ exactly _ what this meant for the minuscule amount of progress they had made in the last ten minutes. Silence settled between them, heavy and uncomfortable, and it felt like they had both taken a step back. She shivered and glanced away, disappointed. Damian looked into her eyes, seeing more than just disappointment over just  _ this _ one failed moment _ . _ It was as if she felt hopeless and helpless, that every second they had together was somehow interrupted by something…  _ stupid _ . Damian clenched his jaw and he raked his fingers through his hair. 

It broke his heart to see her like this, and Damian winced as he reached out to her. “I’m sorry, I have to-”

“Go. I know. I heard. It’s…” She let go of a short, defeated sigh. “It’s fine.  _ Really. _ I understand that you have a lot going on and I… I just barged into your busy life, Damian. I don’t expect you to upend everything just because I’m back. I’m not  _ stupid _ .” 

Anger rose in his throat. That’s  _ not _ what this was about. He  _ wanted _ to upend his life for her. He  _ wanted _ her life to become a part of his. He wanted to do everything in his power to keep her here next to him. He was just somehow being derailed at every turn. Damian reached out to her, but he couldn’t find the right words to tell her the truth - that this whole thing was a mess and he still just wanted her with him. 

Raven took another step back, hurt woven into her expression for a fraction of a second. “I’ll take Titus out in a bit, so you don’t have to worry about that. I’m here to help.” She gave him a small smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. 

Damian closed his eyes and looked away, sighing. He needed to  _ fix this _ , he just didn’t know how. “I’ll be back later. I promise. And then we can… we can talk about this, Raven. I  _ want _ to talk about this.”

“Mm.” She didn’t sound like she believed him, and returned to her spot on the sofa and watched the news quietly.

Damian felt a hundred different things dance on his tongue. He wanted to tell her everything. He wanted to tell her exactly how he felt and why things had to be this way - his whole world was complicated, and being in love with her didn’t make it any easier. But he  _ didn’t say anything _ . He just stood there, like fool, and let the silence speak lies. Her disappointment turned to numbness, and Damian couldn’t find the courage to say what he needed to say. 

A long moment passed and he walked to his room feeling his whole body turn heavy with confusion. 

-

Raven held her head in her hands, letting go of a soft sound. She didn’t know what she was  _ thinking _ . That whole interaction had just been a… a  _ mess. _ A sloppy, ill-planned,  _ stupid _ mess. Had she really been considering stripping down and crawling up on his counter? Had she been so distracted by the sight of him this morning that she was really going to…

_ She was. _ She was distracted by all the feelings that were re-awakening in her. Raven had forgotten all of these little bits of Damian and how he made her feel, and being shoved back in his life again was enough to make her feel like she was losing her mind. She wanted to feel his hands on her, his lips against her own, his fingers in her hair. But she also wanted to remember the way he looked at her from across the room, his surprisingly soft touches, the long silences that seemed to say everything and nothing all at once. She wanted all of it back in her life again, even if it meant jeopardizing everything. 

Raven let her head fall into her hands and she took a slow, deep breath, embarrassed that she had let herself get to this point. She shouldn’t let her emotions control her, and she knew better than to fall so easily for him. Damian had made it clear that he wanted to start over from the beginning, and she honestly agreed with him. It made sense. They’d been apart for so long, there was no way to guarantee that they hadn’t changed, and she needed to be sure that he felt the same way he had two years ago.

But… Raven also knew that her own feelings hadn’t changed. The more she was around him, the more she remembered how she felt about him. She still loved him, and while being with him felt a bit like new territory, it didn’t feel  _ entirely _ different. Her head dropped into her hands and she let herself sit there in silence, trying to forget what had just happened. 

Damian came out of his bedroom dressed in a neatly pressed suit and fussing with his tie. He looked at her with a dark expression, one that seemed like a mixture of longing and confusion, and Raven had to agree. Everything felt messy and confusing, and she didn’t want to continue this anymore. She wanted something she could depend on, something that  _ made sense _ . 

“I’ll be back shortly after one.” Damian grabbed his bag and pulled it over his shoulder, avoiding eye contact with her. He sighed and started for the door, as if looking at her for too long was physically painful. “If you need anything, just call me.” 

Raven gave a short nod. “Of course.”

“Mm.” He met her eyes for a brief second before looking away, another shade of shame coloring his eyes. 

Raven’s shoulders slumped as silence fell over them again, and she listened to his front door open and close. The silence was heavy and stifling, like it was going to drown her, and she listened to his footsteps disappear down the hallway. Raven closed her eyes and she took a slow, shaky breath. This was… this was for the best. That’s just what she had to keep telling herself. 

Raven jerked as the door slammed open and Damian stormed in. Raven stood up, watching as he crossed the threshold into the living room and walked up to her. Energy was radiating off of him, like he had a spark inside him and he needed to light something on fire. Like he needed to light  _ her  _ on fire. 

“No.”

She blinked as Damian approached her, determination filling his expression.

“You know what? I don’t  _ want _ to start from the beginning.”

Her heart stopped in her chest and she waited for him to finish. 

“I still fucking love you, Raven.” He reached out and grabbed her hips, pulling her tight against his chest. “I haven’t stopped loving you, and I don’t want to start over. I want to pick up where we left off.”


	5. Chapter Four

“You’ve been checking your phone every five minutes. Waiting for something?” There was a long, heavy pause, as if Tim was waiting to deliver a punchline. "Or maybe expecting something? Like a call or a text…" 

Damian looked up from his phone and glared at Tim before pocketing it again, hoping his expression wasn't as pathetic as he felt. It was bad enough that Damian had to feel this way about Raven, but it was absolutely _ mortifying _ to know Tim was picking up on it. “No.” Damian's eyes flicked to the clock on the far wall, watching the minute hand tick to another spot on the face. “I told you that I was leaving at one. I'm simply getting ready to leave.”

“Yeah?" Tim leaned back on his heels, looking at Damian as if he was hiding some kind of juicy gossip. "Well, I’ve got you for a whole five more minutes. So, you’re going to have to wait a bit longer before you manage to escape.” Tim handed him a folder with a report and smirked again. "I'm going to need you to review those."

Of _ course _ Tim was going to be like this. Damian glared but opened the file and thumbed through the pages, not caring to really review any of them. He’d worry about it next time, right now all he cared about was getting out of here. He could feel Tim's stare weigh on him, each sweep of his eyes deciphering another layer Damian was trying to keep secret. This really _ was _ embarrassing. Damian lifted his eyes to Tim and glared.

“_ What? _ ” Damian was close to snapping, he felt like his skin was about to split and a demon was going to burst free. Every second at work had felt like hours, when he knew that he could be at his apartment with Raven, his arms wrapped around her. _ God _ , he was so _ pathetic _ . He loved Raven, and he wasn’t ashamed of that, but he knew that she made him feel so weak, and he would do anything for her. _ That _ was what made him feel like this - like he was seconds away from breaking. 

“So… who is she?”

Damian jerked. “What?”

“The girl you’re running off to meet.” Tim’s tone was teasing, and he pitched forward over the table, grinning like a fool. There was something in his expression that said that he seemed to see everything Damian was trying to hide from him. “I mean, I’m not an idiot. You’re distracted, more annoying than usual-”

“_ Tch. _” Damian glared.

“-and you look… _ anxious _ . You haven’t been this… _ unlike you _ since Raven.”

Damian let go of a low growl, hoping Tim couldn’t see the slight twitch to his lips. Tim was closer to figuring out the truth than he gave himself credit. “And?”

“And, I’m wondering what girl you’re running off to.” His smile turned teasing. “And when we get to meet her.”

“Hopefully never.” Damian ignored him and flicked through the pages in the folder again, his eyes skimming over the memo left on the top. 

“Ah!” Tim snapped his fingers and pulled back, resting his weight on his heels. “So it _ is _ a girl. I was right, wasn’t I?”

Damian bit the inside of his cheek and narrowed his eyes at Tim, realizing his own mistake. He said far too much, and Tim was going to pick up on that like a bloodhound. “Don’t-”

“So!” Tim cut him off and grinned. “Who is she?” 

Damian sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, continuing to glare at him. If he killed Tim before he left for the day, none of his other family would ever know that Raven was back, and Damian could keep his secret. “That’s none of your business.” He wasn’t sure why he was so adamant on keeping Raven as much of a secret as he could, but he knew he wasn’t ready to share her. Also, he didn’t exactly know how to explain everything that happened between them, and why Raven had left. Damian glared again. “Actually, it’s not _ anyone’s _business, and I’d like to keep it that way.” 

“_ Not _ our business? You’re practically _ inviting _ us to make it our business. You’re being cagey, skipping out on work to see a _ girl _, and you haven’t noticed that there are three errors in that memo you’ve been reading.” Tim leaned back on his heels, crossing his arms over his chest and smirking at him. “Whoever she is, she’s apparently special enough for you to not call attention to my errors on the memo.”

“I’m not going to call attention to your errors, because I know you put them in there on purpose.” Damian hugged and closed the folder, handing it back to Tim. “12:59. You have one minute, Drake.” 

“I’m just saying…” Tim hummed, as if trying to think of the right thing to say. "You look…"

Damian growled again, his patience wearing thin. "I look _ what? _”

Tim's expression softened for a moment, and Damian suddenly felt as though a big brother was truly standing in front of him, genuinely wanting nothing more than for Damian to be happy. That thought was unnerving. It wasn’t that his family _ didn’t _ care about him, but Damian wasn’t used to accepting their kindness so easily. He was used to silly pranks and angry words when a mission went wrong, he wasn’t used to seeing someone look at him with hope _ for _ him. Damian looked away, uncomfortable as Tim's smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. 

"You look _ happy _ , Dami." Tim shrugged and glanced across the room to the clock, reading the time. "You look _ genuinely _ happy." He paused and sighed, somehow knowing that this was a fight he would very likely lose. "And after all the shit we've been through - you especially - I think you're allowed to be happy. I think you’re allowed to have a few good things in your life. So, if this girl makes you happy, then good for you."

Damian didn't know what to say to that, and so he just snapped his mouth shut and glared at Tim. A second passed, and Damian looked at the clock again. "_ Time. _" 

Tim shrugged, as if he wasn’t all that worried about whether or not Damian believed him. “You have class tomorrow, right?”

“Mm.” Damian grabbed his bag and slung it over his shoulder. He felt as though he couldn’t get out of the building fast enough. Back “I’ll be back on Friday. I’ll finish the efficiency and redundancy report by then, and you can present it to the board.”

“I think we should go out this weekend. The whole family.” Tim followed him out of the office, shoving his hands in his trouser pockets. “You should bring your new girlfriend. We should meet her. Especially if she’s going to be around.”

Damian bristled, baring his teeth at him. “_ Absolutely not. _”

Tim gave him a lopsided grin as they made their way to the elevators. “Hey, at least you’re admitting you have a new love interest. That’s a huge step for you.”

“I don’t want to talk about any of this with you.” Damian turned and poked a finger in Tim’s chest, practically growling. “And if you tell _ anyone _ in our family, so help me, Drake, I will murder you and scatter your body around the city for our siblings to find. Don’t _ test _ me.”

Tim nodded once, but there was no fear or concern in his eyes, and Damian knew the moment he stepped out of sight, Tim was going to text their family. Damian could _ feel _ his adoptive brother already scheming. If he knew anything about them, it would be only minutes before they showed up at his apartment to torture them. Maybe if he took Raven _ far away _ from Gotham for a few days, he could at least get in _ some _ time with her - _ without _ interruption. But he would have to move quick. The lodge up north was probably free, he could take Raven up there as soon as he got home. It was a four hour drive - long, but worth it if it meant he would be away from Gotham while his family attempted to mortify him. 

“Have a good afternoon, kid.” 

Damian ignored him.

“Don’t forget to _ play it safe. _”

Damian turned and looked at Tim, confused. 

And, in the middle of the busy, bustling hallway, Tim called out, “I’m saying wear a condom. The last thing the world needs is _ another _ Damian. That would be _ torture. _”

Damian heard the snickers and suppressed laughter as the elevator doors closed behind him, taking him to the street. His neck burned in embarrassment, but the person in the elevator with him chose not to say anything at all, and stared intently at their phone. Oh, _ that _ did it. He was going to _ kill Drake _ . Throw him off the top of Wayne Enterprises and watch his body splat onto the city sidewalk. Damian hid his face as he ducked out the back entrance of the building and began thinking of a hundred other ways he would _ gleefully _ kill Drake. 

He made it to his apartment building as quickly as his feet would let him, nearly getting sideswiped by a taxi. It didn’t matter. All that mattered was that he was going to be home alone with Raven. He was already thinking of all the places he was going to take her in his apartment - starting with his kitchen counter. _ God _. He wanted her splayed out for him, his mouth between her legs, listening to her screams fill the space. His body was tight just thinking about it, and Damian was half tempted to strip his clothes in the elevator ride up to his apartment. 

He threw open the door to his apartment and walked inside to find-

_ Oh, for fuck’s sake. _

“_ Zatara _ .” Damian ran a hand down his face and groaned, cursing under his breath. He was never going to catch a break, was he? The whole universe seemed to want to fight him, and he was almost _ certain _ that he was never going to have a real chance with Raven alone. He should have just stayed home today.

Zachary turned and stared at him with a thin, annoyed smile, shadows building in the darkness of his eyes. He was obviously pissed off that Damian hadn’t told him sooner, but Damian couldn’t find it in himself to care. “_ Wayne _. Nice to see you.”

Damian The feeling was _ not _ mutual.

Raven flushed, looking a bit sheepish as her eyes darted between them, sensing the obvious tension. “Damian. Sorry… I called Zachary to ask him about introducing me to Constantine, and he said you didn’t tell him I was back.”

“So, I asked to come over. I had a lot to talk to her about, and she had a lot to explain about what was going on.” Zachary’s voice was rough and low, obviously _ pissed off _ that Damian hadn’t told him that Raven had returned. 

Damian rolled his eyes. “I was _ going _ to tell you.”

“_ Were you? _ You’re such a jerk.” Zachary stood up and crossed his arms over his chest. “Did you ever think that maybe you should have _ told me sooner? _ So, I didn’t go all the way to the other side of the country looking for Raven, who is _ clearly back from Azarath and right here in Gotham _.” Zachary pointed to her. “We promised to work through this together, and I knew you were already getting frustrated and upset, but I still tried my best. You should have told me.”

Damian couldn’t find enough patience inside himself to care. “You know that this was hard on me, and I needed to start moving on. I just didn’t think that she would come back on the same day I told you I wasn’t going to San Francisco with you. Besides, I was busy.” He gave Zachary a pointed stare. “There were things going on in Gotham that _ needed my attention _, and I couldn’t leave.” Damian glared and hoped Zachary had enough brains to catch the inflection in his voice. “And I was going to tell you before you left for San Francisco anyway.”

“_ Were _ you though?” Zachary threw his hands up in the air. “You’re such an ass, Damian. I swear you’re so _ selfish _ sometimes.” 

Raven pressed a hand to her mouth and stifled a small chuckle, and Damian and Zachary turned to look at her. They both glared, obviously more annoyed at each other than with her. 

“_ What? _”

“It’s nice to know what after all my time away, _ nothing _ has changed between you two.” She gave them both a small smile. “Only that you somehow tolerate each other a little more.”

Damian huffed out another annoyed breath. “_ Please. _ We _ barely _ tolerate each other.” He ran his fingers through his hair and sighed, pointing another glare at Zachary. “Well… since you’re here, we might as well get you up to speed.”

“Raven and I have been talking about what’s going on. She mentioned that Blood was likely using Trigon’s power to get to her.” Zachary sat back down in the armchair next to him. “Which is likely causing the rise of the cults that you-”

Damian glared, shaking his head, and Zachary raised an eyebrow. It was one thing to keep his vigilante identity a secret while they were studying at the academy together. But it was something completely different when he was trying to keep it secret while Raven was _ living with him _. Damian knew that eventually he was going to have to tell her the truth about who he was, he just wanted it to be on his own terms. 

“_ \- have _ been seeing on the news. The ones that Nightwing and Robin are breaking up.” 

“I’d recognize those symbols anywhere, they’re definitely from my father. Our saving grace is that Blood doesn’t seem to know I’m back on this earth yet. So, at least for a little bit, we’re able to keep me hidden.” Raven rubbed her arm and looked away, and Titus came and set his head in her lap, as if trying to comfort her. “If he finds me, I’ll-”

“Have to trust us to protect you.” Damian cut her off, his eyes darkening. “Me, Zachary, Nightwing-”

Raven snorted, her expression softly teasing. “Nightwing? I don’t think your money has pockets _ that _ deep that you can influence a vigilante like that.”

Zachary looked annoyed and gave him a look that simply said _ just fess up already _, to which Damian cursed under his breath. This was getting more and more complicated each day, and he needed to figure out how to tell her without it being so awkward. 

"The point is, we'll do whatever we can to protect you." Zachary leaned forward and looked into Raven's eyes, offering another reassuring smile. "If you want, I can reach out to Miguel and Gar and Karen? I'm sure they'd be happy to see you, and to do whatever we need to keep you safe. Gar and Miguel are both in San Francisco right now working with a superhero team. Karen is in London for a bit, but I know she’ll come over the moment she hears you’re back."

“I’m worried about other people knowing I’m here.” Raven’s voice was soft, and she took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “I didn’t exactly leave on the best terms with them, and while I want to apologize and explain what happened with me that night… I can’t. Not just yet anyway. And I don’t want too many people to know I’m back. The fewer people know, the less people Blood can try to exploit to find me.” 

Damian shifted, his thoughts bubbling in the back of his head in warning. He wasn't so sure he was interested in bringing more people in on this. It was one thing to have his family and Zachary attempt to help them both, but it was something very different to drag his and Raven's history front and center with their friends. What had happened was _ private _ between them, and even Zachary knowing what happened was embarrassing enough. Damian definitely didn’t want to try to explain this whole situation to their friends. Although trying to explain it to his family was going to be embarrassing enough. 

“So, let’s think about it for a little then. We’ll see what we can figure out on our own, and if we need to reach out, then we’ll do it later, after we have more information.” Raven paused and shifted, as if there was something weighing heavily on her. She turned her thoughts over in her mind, letting the silence settle around them before speaking again. “I’d like to go investigate the site of last night’s cult, if we could.” 

Damian felt himself pale at her request. _ She wanted to do what? _ The images and symbols of what he had seen last night were still fresh in his mind, and even _ thinking _ about them seemed dangerous. Thankfully, Zachary seemed to think the same thing.

“Raven, I don’t know if that’s such a good idea.” Zachary shifted, resting his hands on his knees. 

“I _ know _ it sounds dangerous.” She took a deep breath, trying to steel herself as she spoke to them. “But my father’s magic leaves a stain on everything - one that won’t ever come out. Maybe if I go and check the space out out, I can find out a little more about where Blood is now and what he’s doing to access my father’s powers.”

“That _ is _ dangerous, Raven.” Damian leveled a dark stare at her, his teeth grinding at the thought of putting her in danger. “We don’t know what those symbols do or what they’re there for. Only that they’re there for some kind of ritual. If you spring a magical trap, or alert someone to your presence, Blood _ could _ find you and get his hands on you. And, in case you’ve forgotten, that’s what we’re _ trying _ to avoid.” 

“I think it’s worth looking into.” Raven’s voice was stern, as if she had thought about this already. “We can’t just sit here and hope something is just going to present itself.”

“As much as it pains me to say, Damian’s right, Raven.” Zachary sighed and looked over at her. “This could be a trap.”

“Blood doesn’t know I’m back on this earth yet, that’s our one, saving grace. I don’t think he’d try and spring a trap for me when he doesn’t even know I’m here. He is still trying to reach me through my connections on Azarath, but he can’t get to me. He can only infiltrate my dreams.” Raven chewed on her lower lip, obviously thinking about the repercussions of what she was suggesting. “But, if there’s any time that it’s safest to go and try to find answers… it’s now. If Blood doesn’t realize I’m here, and I’ve got friends who are willing to watch out for me, I think we should move while we still have the opportunity.”

Damian groaned and tipped his head back, staring at the ceiling. Goddamnit, she was _ right _ . He didn’t want to admit that she was right, and he didn’t want to think about _ willingly _ putting her in danger. He let go of a strangled and annoyed sound, cursing under his breath. “This is _ not _ how I expected this day to go.”

“Oh, _ really? _ ” Zachary’s voice held a note of teasing, and he cocked his head to the side with a small smile. “And how _ were _ you expecting this day to go? What kind of _ big plans _ did you have?” 

Damian glared at him, sneering. “_ Shut up _.”

Raven pressed her lips together and bit back a smile, a soft flush staining her cheeks. “So? What do you think?”

“I think you’re right, and it pisses me off.” Damian stood up and sighed again, feeling deflated. This whole situation felt like they were setting themselves up for something to go horribly wrong, but what other choice did they have? Raven was right, if they were going to do any kind of investigation, then it was best to try and do it before Blood realized that she was back on earth. “Alright. If this is how we’re going to start, then… I’ll see what I can do about getting us into the crime scene. Grayson works for Bludhaven PD right now, but he probably still has a few contacts in Gotham who can pull some strings if we need it.” 

Raven nodded, and sighed in relief. “Thank you for trusting me. I know it goes against every possible bone in your body, but… I appreciate it. I’m not helpless, Damian. I can protect myself if I need to.”

“I know, I know.” He winced. “I just want to keep you safe, and having you walk into a crime scene filled with symbols and spells of your father, many of which we don’t know what they are or what they do, seems to be the _ opposite _ of keeping you safe.” Damian glanced at Zachary, knowing he didn’t want to have this conversation in front of him. Zachary would never let him live it down if Damian showed him _ any _ of his vulnerabilities, including his weakness for Raven. “I’ll reach out to Grayson and see what we can do-”

There was a knock at the door. 

Zachary’s eyebrows knitted together, confused. “Were you expecting someone?”

Raven shook her head, and Damian felt a deep, bottomless pit open up in his stomach as he glanced at the clock. He’d been gone less than an hour from Wayne Industries, which left Tim _ plenty _ of time to be a damned _ gossip _. Oh no. If Damian knew anything about his family, it’s that they delighted in torturing him. His head fell into his hands as the knock sounded again. 

“_ Dami! _ ” _ Fuck. _ Todd. His voice was playful and sing-songy, and that made it _ so much worse _. “Are you wearing a condom, Dami? Tim told you to wrap it first. This is me reminding you. Safe sex is the best sex.”

“Come on, Dami! We want to meet your friend!”

_ And _Grayson? This day was just getting better and better.

Damian whipped around to see Zachary turned away, his shoulders shaking with laughter, and Raven’s eyes wide with shock. Damian cursed under his breath and shoulders sagged as he walked to the door. He stood there a moment, contemplating whether or not he should open it. Maybe if he ignored them, they would go away. Or maybe if he ambushed them, he could murder them and then this would have never happened. There were swords in the training room if he wanted to kill them, it would be easy. 

Finally, Damian opened the door to see Dick and Jason standing in front of him, grinning. 

Jason gave him a teasing look, his smile broad.. “Awe, kid. Done already? I didn’t realize you were so quick.” 

“So, where’s the girl? When do we get to meet her?” Dick pushed past Damian and into the apartment. “_ Raven? _”

“Raven?” Jason pushed Damian out of the way and followed Dick inside. “Well, look at that! No wonder, you’ve been keeping her a secret! How are you doing? Are you back from Azarath? What are you doing hanging out with shortstack?”

“Todd. I’m the same height as you.” Damian rolled his eyes.

Damian groaned and closed the door, feeling completely and utterly defeated. He ran a hand down his face and watched as Jason scooped her up in a hug before setting her back down. Damian stood there, annoyed, but also somehow amused, and maybe even… a little _ happy? _ It was like he was seeing Raven back in his life again - with his family, with his friends, with people he loved - and watching how easily they brought her into their lives made Damian feel… _ happy _. It made him feel warm and comforting, and knowing that she was beside him again made him feel like maybe things weren’t going to be as bad as he feared. 

“You know what?” Dick turned around to Damian, a grin filling his face. “We should all go out. Celebrate! Have some fun on the town!” 

Then again, Damian remembered that his family only existed to _ torture him _. “I don’t-”

“That sounds like a great idea. Raven, let’s go.” Jason’s hand wrapped around hers and pulled her to the door, her expression shocked as Jason pulled her into the hallway. 

“_ Todd… _”

“Oh, it’ll be _ fun _ , Dami. She’s never been _ in _ Gotham before. Think of all the stupid touristy places we can take her to.” Dick laid a heavy hand on his shoulder and met Damian’s stare. “You’ve got _ plenty _ of time to be _ alone with her _ later.” 

Damian locked his jaw and glared at Dick as he followed Jason down the hall. Zachary stood next to him, barely stifling his own giggles. 

“So… I take it you really _ did _ have plans for this afternoon.” Zachary shook his head. “Or if you didn’t before, you do now.”

Damian glared at him. “_ Shut up _.”

“Come on, Zachary! You’re coming with us too!”

Zachary’s face fell and Damian snorted. Serves him right.

-

Raven felt exhausted as she stumbled into Damian’s bedroom, her shoulders sagging with the weight of the day. How in the _ world _ did Damian’s family have enough energy to completely and utterly _ drain _ her? She didn’t even realize there was that much to _ do _ in Gotham. She must have visited at least half the bars in the damn city and seen every tourist site there was to see. Her head was spinning, and she was pretty sure that Jason and Dick had taken at least a hundred photos of her and Damian, that they were likely going to use as blackmail for Damian at some point. Or, at least proof that he _ did _ smile. 

She stripped off her oversized sweatshirt and dropped it onto the floor, crawling into Damian’s bed. Titus crawled on top of her and laid down, practically crushing her under his weight. Her eyes fluttered and she sighed as her body sunk into Damian’s stupidly-soft mattress. For a moment she thought she should go and sleep out on the sofa, but… it felt _ good _ here, like she was beginning to belong again. And, she didn’t want to give that up. 

A moment passed before she heard the door open, and Damian stood in the doorway. His eyes settled on Titus and he pointed into the hallway. “Go lay with Jon.” 

Titus huffed, but jumped off the bed and trotted out of Damian’s bedroom. Damian closed the door behind him and turned to Raven. She could feel the heat in his stare practically burn her skin, and Raven suddenly didn’t feel so tired. She swallowed and stood up as Damian walked over to where she was. 

Utterly resolved in his choices, he stared into her eyes, dropping his voice low as he spoke. “I swear, Raven, I am going to make love to you if it’s the last fucking thing I do.” 

Raven’s heart sputtered in her chest, and she realized how long it had been since she had been touched by him. How long she had been touched by… _ anyone _ . She _ wanted _, and she wanted him. Fire slipped down her spine, and her whole body felt willing, like she was opening up to whatever he wanted to do. 

But first…

“Hand me your phone.” Raven held out her hand and Damian dropped his phone into her palm, obviously confused. Raven pressed the power button and turned it off, before setting it on the bedside table and lifting her eyes to his. “No interruptions this time.” Her cheeks flushed and she was grateful for the darkness in the room. She lifted herself on her tip-toes, pressing her lips against his ear. “Now, I distinctly remember you saying you were going to fuck me.” 

Damian’s eyes darkened and before she knew what was happening, his mouth pressed hot against her own. The kiss was heady and rich, like a good wine, and it made her feel as though she were drunk on him. Raven sighed, her body melting into his as a million emotions suddenly flooded her whole body. Her fingers tightened in his shirt and she met him kiss-for-kiss, just as desperate for this as he was. It felt like eons had passed and no time at all, and Raven’s head was spinning, her body nearly shaking as she threaded her hands into his hair, pulling him closer to her. 

Damian groaned and pushed against her, throwing her off balance so that she tumbled into the bed behind her. He crawled over her, one arm sliding under her waist, and the other pressing close to her face. She could feel him slide his knee between her thighs, and it took every ounce of her control to not grind on him, if only for a little relief. Her tongue swept along the curve of his lower lip and Damian let go of a low growl. 

“I am-”

_ A knock _. 

Raven winced and Damian stilled, obviously annoyed.

“Hey, Dami.” 

It was Jon. Raven’s heart sank as Damian pulled back, holding his head in his hands as he cursed in another language. 

“_ What, Jon? _”

“Text from Dick… we have… a thing? You know _ that _ thing? We forgot about that thing?” 

“Oh, for fuck’s sake.” Damian growled and threw open the bedroom door, soft light pouring in from the hallway. He glared at Jon, his mouth pulling down into a frown. “I will _ be there _.”

“It’s a code red.” Jon’s eyes met Raven’s and he gave her an apologetic look, offering her a small wave. “Emergency.” 

Damian rubbed the heel of his palm into his forehead and continued to glare at Jon, before turning around to look at Raven. She knew she must have looked pathetic, her eyes practically willing him back to bed with her, but Damian kept his face blank. The walls that had separated them for the past few days seemed to growing higher and higher, and Raven wondered if they would ever be back to where they were before. 

She licked her lips, looking up into his face. “You have to go?”

“Yeah.” Damian grabbed his phone from the nightstand, turning it back on. He flicked through a few text messages and sighed. “I don’t know when I’ll be back.”

“Okay.” Raven chewed her lower lip and met his stare for a brief moment. “Be safe.” 

He winced, and gave her a half-nod as he left the room.

Raven felt her heart breaking all over again.


	6. Chapter Five

Damian cursed as his back slammed against the wall, his head bouncing off the brick as stars flashed in his eyes. Pain snapped through his head and he grunted. _ Damnit. _ That _ hurt. _ How had this asshole gotten a hit in against _ him _ ? 

The stench of blood, wine, incense, and an odd, gamy smell filled his senses again, and he bit back a thick cough at the offensiveness of it. Smoke filled the small room from the far corner, where a candle had tipped over and lit a banner on fire. Damian cleared his head and ducked another flailing punch, trying not to let the scene of the room affect him any more, but it was too late. The sight was jarring - stone walls covered in symbols of Trigon, people scattered over the bare floor with the same symbols carved into their arms and legs, and an altar stacked with all manner of things that he knew he didn’t want to investigate. 

Damian had always known that Raven was born from unspeakable horrors, but he didn’t really understand how deep and twisted it was until he was standing in the thick of it. How was Raven so soft and gentle when _ this _ was what she came from?

He shifted, ducking out of the way to avoid another sloppy, flailing punch towards his face, and drilling his elbow into the attackers exposed ribs, which was immediately followed by a sickening _ crunch _ . The cultist didn’t seem to notice that he was injured, and reached out again, his eyes wild, as if there was a demon was inside him, desperately trying to break out. Damian had to remind himself that this was a _ person _ , and as much as he wanted to hurt the guy, Damian was going to have to settle for incapacitating him. He cursed again, twisting his body and swinging the back-edge of his sword at the attacker's head, which landed with a _ thunk _. He stumbled for a minute, and then the attacker made a low whimper and dropped to the floor.

Damian sighed and looked out into the mess around the room, surveying it for any other clue he might have missed from before. 

"Is it just me or is this way harder than last night?” Dick pushed another cultist out of the way, who stumbled backwards as they fell to the floor. Dick sighed. “_ Honestly _. I don’t remember us trying this hard. And I don’t remember any other angry cultists being able to take on a Kryptonian.”

“_ Half _-Kryptonian.” Damian rolled his eyes. “And no, it’s just you.” 

Damian fell back on his heels as he surveyed the rest of the space, the smoke now clearing thanks to Jon putting out the fire. The scene was more gruesome than he remembered from last night, and he wasn’t sure if the symbols on the wall were written in red paint or blood. His skin crawled, like every good sense was fighting against what he was doing here. Some of the cultists were coming out of their haze, stumbling around the low lit room before vomiting and sobbing into their hands, as if they didn’t know what they had done. The ones that weren’t leaving the haze seemed to be the true believers, like they had willingly gone along with this bizarre charade. Most of them were already tied up, gnashing their teeth and spitting out what sounded like some kind of twisted scripture over and over.

“_ The gem will be awoken. _” 

Whatever the fuck that meant. Damian rubbed the back of his head, trying to ease the pain. He turned and looked at the cheap folding table with a piece of black cloth on it that somehow passed for an altar in the back of the room. Something was splayed out over it, dripping blood onto the floor, and Damian wasn't sure if he wanted to look to see what it was. His stomach roiled again, another wave of the stench of the room and incense hitting him. He looked around to see Jon letting in the first responders and helping some of the more remorseful cultists out to the ambulance on the street to get care. Tch. _ Boy scout. _

"We should go." Dick glanced around the room, his eyes landing on the altar. He seemed just as wary to try and look at what was proudly displayed over the surface. "We’ve stopped the ritual and got the clues we need to try and stop whatever this is from happening again. The police have it from here. We should let them take over. Anything else, we can ask Babs or Batman for."

“Right.” Damian nodded, but he didn’t move. Instead he stood there and stared at the altar from across the room. He might as well see what was there and face what it was. Damian steeled himself and stepped up to the altar, and he nearly stumbled back from the sight. He bit back a shocked sound, and glared at what was splayed out in front of him. A piece of wood was placed over the top of the folding table, runes and symbols burned into it, some of them matching what was painted on the walls. 

And in the middle there was… 

"Same symbols from last night?" Dick stepped up behind him, and Damian could feel him tense at what they were both seeing. 

"That's…" Damian swallowed, his heart dropping into his stomach as he stared down at the altar. A raven was splayed out across the wood, wings spread out, chest split open, blood pooling under its feathers. Damian bit back another gag and stared at it. It wasn’t a coincidence that there was a sacrificed raven in the middle of this carnage. It was purposeful, an anchor to try and bring Raven here, to this plane of existence. 

_ Fuck. _

"It's missing its heart." Jon's voice was small, almost swallowed up by the weight of the room. "It's just… gone. Ripped out." He swallowed and looked over at Damian. “Robin… that’s where-”

“_ I know _ .” Damian looked over at Jon who shifted, as if his mind was coming to the same conclusion as Damian's. That was exactly where Raven’s rune was on her chest - the one meant to try and protect her from Blood. It was more than just a sacrifice, it was a _ warning _ . He turned around and surveyed the rest of the space, frowning. _ Raven _ . This was all to try and summon _ Raven _.

“We need to go, Robin.” Dick’s voice was low and soft, as if he were trying to coax a child to follow him. “We’ve got our clues and our information, so we know what we need to do to stop him.”

Damian looked into Dick’s face and glared. _ Killing _ Blood was the only way to stop this. Ending him would stop everything - the resurrection of Trigon, the brainwashing of followers, and it would _ keep Raven safe _ . But Damian knew that Dick would never see it that way. His family’s stupid _ no kill _ policy was going to be the death of them someday. Oh, _ wait _ . It already had. Damian glared at nothing in particular and started to make his way towards the back door, before the rest of the first responders realized they were still there. Their relationship with law enforcement was… _ carefully contentious _, and they knew better than to aggravate it. 

Without another word, and his skin buzzing with confusion, they bolted out the back door and disappeared into the night. The weight of what they had seen seemed to settle over them, weighing the night down. Yes, they had saved a lot of lives tonight, but they had also made discoveries that they did not want to face either. Including what Blood was capable of doing just to get to Raven. 

Dick stayed silent for a few moments, obviously uncomfortable with the quiet. He needed to talk because it helped him process what he had seen, but the _ last _ thing Damian wanted to do was talk about what they had seen. Talking about it made it real, and if it was real, it meant it was something he was going to have to face - that Raven was in _ mortal _ danger. Panic rose up in his chest, every bone in his body making him feel like he needed to protect her and keep her safe, but… _ how _ . How in the world was he supposed to keep her safe from a force like _ this? _

"So…” Dick’s voice was almost conversational. “When were you going to tell us about Raven being back?"

Damian glared, huffing out a breath through his nose. "Hopefully never."

"Too late for that." Dick grinned, turning at him as they made their way to the roof above the old warehouse. “When Tim said you had a girl over, I never thought it would be Raven. I was actually thinking you might have hit it off with that girl Bruce made you take to the gala two weeks ago. What was her name? Melanie? Megan?”

“_Annoying_,” Damian rolled his eyes, racing across a rooftop as he felt Dick follow him. “Her name was _annoying_. _She_ was annoying. That _night_ was annoying. And I’d rather forget she ever existed, but she keeps texting me and inviting me out for _drinks_, and to see the shoddy, fake Matisse her _daddy_ bought her. I refuse to acknowledge she exists outside of that one interaction.”

“Oh, Dami. You ghosted a girl?” Dick shook his head. “Tsk tsk. That’s not very gentlemanly of you.”

“I didn’t _ ghost _ her. You can only _ ghost _ someone you had some kind of relationship with, and I did _ not _ have a relationship with her. _ Trust me _ .” Damian glared at Dick from the corner of his eye again, and jumped an alleyway, landing gracefully on the rooftop on the other side. “I don’t want to talk about it. And I definitely don’t want to talk about it with _ you _.” Damian ignored Dick’s fake, indignant noise and bolted away from him. “I was trying to keep Raven private until I was able to sort everything out with her and her situation, but I see now that was a fruitless endeavor.”

Dick chased after him, their steps matching. “Oh, come on, Dami. You were a mess when Raven left last time. We were _ worried _ about you. You didn’t talk to anyone about her running away, and you spent all your time working with Zachary to try and find her. We all thought that you might actually lose it-”

_ Lose it? _ Anger burned bright and hot inside him, and Damian whipped around, baring his teeth like a wild animal. “ _ Because Raven was in trouble and I didn’t have a way to protect or to help her. _ ” He glared. “The woman I cared about was ripped violently from me before we even got a chance to _ try _ something normal, like a relationship, and all I had to go on to try and find her were some mad ramblings from _ Blood _ and a letter I couldn’t bring myself to ever read. So, if I seemed as though I was _ losing it _, then maybe I had a reason.” 

Dick blinked and he stumbled back, rubbing at the back of his neck as if he was suddenly ashamed of himself. “Sorry, I didn’t mean-”

“_ Don’t. _ Don’t say _ anything _ , Dick.” Damian ground his teeth together, and his hand feathered over the hilt of his sword. He needed a way to let off steam, but killing his brother was probably _ not _ the best way to release his pent-up emotions. Raven was in more danger now than she had been years ago, and Damian could feel his unreasonable panic start to rise inside him. Of _ course _ he was going to be testy, he just needed a better way to reign in those emotions. He needed to hit something again, maybe he could go find a few stupid drug dealers and release his frustration on them. 

“Hey…” Jon at least could tell was Damian was close to his tipping point, and he rested a hand on Damian’s shoulder. “Look… you need time to process what we saw in there and spend some time with Raven. I understand that.” He shifted and leaned back on his heels, tipping his head back to look into the cloudy, dark sky. “I’m going to head back to Metropolis for a few days, and just stay away for a bit. I think…” Jon paused to choose his words carefully. “I think you both need some uninterrupted time. Alone.”

Damian felt the tips of his ears turn pink and he glared at Jon. “For _ what? _”

“To tell her what you just saw, Dami. And to help her process it.” _Good save._ “Like… _look at what that was_. There was a raven, sacrificed, on an altar surrounded by symbols of Trigon _and_ Blood, and missing its heart - _exactly_ where Raven has that rune on her chest. It’s not a coincidence, and you know it. You’re not oblivious to the similarities. You can’t be.” Jon sighed and rubbed at his forehead, a tick that told Dami he was frustrated. “As much as you want to protect her and keep her safe, you should _tell her_. About you and me and Dick, and the rest of your entire dysfunctional family.”

Dick huffed out a breath and rolled his eyes. “Thanks, kid.” He turned to Damian, his face softening with sympathy and confusion. “You haven’t told her about you? Or us? You trusted her with so much, Dami. I’m surprised you didn’t trust her with that secret.” 

The note in Dick’s voice sounded a lot like Jason had probably said something about the brand on Damian’s arm years ago, and Damian bit the inside of his cheek to control his emotions. “It’s _ complicated _. And I’m trying to keep her safe.”

“I mean… I understand, but Raven doesn’t seem like the kind of girl who would take your secrets and run with them.” Dick caught his stare for a moment and shrugged. “Not after all your history together.”

Oh, yeah. Jason _ totally _ said something to Dick. Damian would just add that to the list of brothers he was going to kill. He glared again. “It’s my choice who I tell about my secrets. And when I feel like it’s a good time, I’ll tell her the truth.”

“You’re not going to be able to keep it a secret for long. She’s going to get suspicious when you start gallivanting off in the middle of the night and come back injured and broken.” Dick sighed and lifted his head to the sky. “What’s your cover?”

“Mugging by rats.” Jon supplied with a grin. 

“Rats?”

“Apparently they’re a new Meta gang.” Damian pushed past Dick and made his way in the direction of his apartment. “I will tell her when it’s a better time. Which, at this point is looking closer and closer to _ never _.”

Jon snorted and Dick shook his head. “You’re gonna need to tell her soon, kid. You can’t keep it a secret forever.” 

Damian growled low in his throat, ignoring the sudden pounding in his head. How hard _ had _ he smacked his head. “I can try.” 

“Well, go get your _ alone time _ with Raven. I’ll send you the notes on the case later.” Dick’s words were swallowed by the wind, and Damian ignored him. 

He ran through a service entrance near the middle floors of his building, and then up an old, forgotten staircase to the roof. Damian paused and caught his breath, staring out into the jagged Gotham skyline, catching the movement of Jon heading in the direction of Metropolis. Dick had already disappeared, but it was probably for the better, or Damian was going to start thinking of interesting ways to kill him. 

Damian took a deep breath and let it out slowly, running his gloved hand through his hair. He felt alone up here, like the world was nothing more than sounds and shadows below him. And for a few blissful moments, it gave him the opportunity to _ think _ . Dick was usually the careful one, but even _ he _ suggested that Damian should tell the truth about himself… and it _ made sense _ . If Raven knew about him, then they could work together on the case. He could share all the secrets he had learned, and they could fight this _ together _. Like they had two years ago.

But it also meant putting her in _ danger _ . Damian swallowed hard as he thought about the grizzly image of the raven splayed out over the altar, and his own imagination filled in Raven’s form in the same position. Broken, bruised, and bloodied - a _ sacrifice _ for Blood. His stomach roiled at the thought and he looked away, shaking his head. That was… _ no _. He needed to do whatever was necessary to keep her safe for at least a little bit longer. Even if it meant lying to her. 

Damian turned and opened a camouflaged access panel on the roof, which allowed him entrance into a hidden room behind the training room. Trying to be as quiet as possible, he started to undress. Hopefully Raven was asleep, and he could wake her up and then… Damian shook his head, his vision a little fuzzy around the edges. Maybe he _ had _ hurt himself in the fight. _ Great _. That was just another thing he was going to have to lie to her about. 

He peeled off the rest of his suit and stumbled out of the training room to find Raven was half asleep on the sofa. Titus was draped over her, snoring loud enough to wake the dead. Damian smiled and walked to her, brushing a lock of stray hair from her eyes. 

“Hey.” Her eyes fluttered open and she gave him a small, thin smile. Titus yawned, annoyed at being woken up and trotted off to the bedroom. She rubbed at her forehead and sat up, making room for him next to her. “I didn’t hear you come in?”

“Sorry. Long night.” Damian settled on the sofa he looked into her eyes. Guilt clawed at his chest, and words danced on his lips. He should tell her, but he knew better. Now wasn’t the time, he just had to keep reminding himself of that. As much as he wanted to tell her the truth, it was more important to keep her safe.

“Are you… _ okay? _ You look a little…” She paused, trying to think of the right word. “... _ rough. _”

Oh, _ great _. 

Raven’s eyebrows knitted together as she took in the sight of him, sighing softly in the back of her throat. Not that he really blamed her, he probably looked like hell, and now he was almost certain he had a mild concussion. He _ should _ tell her about it, but… it just didn’t seem all that important anymore. He had other things he could focus on, like her warmth next to him and the soft curve of her lips. 

It didn’t matter how punch-drunk he was, all that mattered was that he wanted to be… 

Be _ what? _ Damian’s mind drifted in and out of his thoughts as he stared at her, suddenly remembering what she had said to him before he left. _ I distinctly remember you saying you were going to fuck me. _ His heart pounded in his chest and heat pooled just below his navel, reminding him of all the pent up emotions he should be releasing right now. 

That’s what he wanted. He wanted to be _ fucking her _. Right now. Right here. No matter the consequences. His need felt like a cocktail of emotions, and he didn’t know how to process them all at once, only that they were threatening to take over his good sense. But, did it matter? 

“You smell like… cheap wine.” Raven scrunched up her nose and looked over at him. “And bad perfume.”

Oh. Right. During the fight at the warehouse, some damned bastard had spilled the wine and incense the cult had been using for the ceremony. Right now he probably smelled foul, like blood and darkness, and it was no wonder Raven seemed wary of him. Damian pushed at his hair, wincing as he touched a tender spot on his head. 

Raven seemed to notice and she leaned forward, her eyes tracing every curve and line on his face, before she pulled his hand away from his head. “Damian, are you… _ hurt? _”

“Mm… mugging.” He tried to look sheepish, and hopefully she bought it. It _ killed _ him to lie like this, but what choice did he have? “ _ Again _.” 

Her shoulders sunk and she sighed, shaking her head. “Maybe you should look into hiring a security detail? You should talk to your father about that. He has to know something about what he can do to protect himself.” Raven’s magic flooded his body and he let go of a soft sigh, the pain ebbing away. He closed his eyes and leaned into her touch, his whole body waking up as he returned to normal, and the fuzziness at the edge of his thoughts seemed to disappear.

Damian opened his eyes and looked into her face, trying to understand what he saw there. She chewed on her lower lip and glanced away, as if looking at him was almost too much for her. Silence separated them, and he found himself thinking about their quick, heady kisses before he ran away. Damian shivered, his muscles tensing at the memory of her soft curves pressed against him. He wanted to have her again. No, that wasn’t quite right. He _ needed _ to have her again. He needed to have her writhing beneath him, shaking and calling out his name as he spent hours and hours pleasuring her, watching her come over and over and over.

_ Fuck. _ He needed her _ now _. 

Raven pushed at her hair, seemingly unaware of the war of emotions inside him. “It’s late. You have class tomorrow, so you should get to bed and-”

“Jon left for Metropolis for a few days.” Damian blurted out, his voice hoarse as he leaned towards her. 

She smelled of his soap and shampoo. She must have showered after he left, and if he was in this kind of frayed state, was she as desperate as him? Did she stand under the stream of water and touch herself? Did she stand there and press her fingers against her clit and thought about him, and that one night they had spent together? _ Oh, god. _His whole body tensed at that thought, blood rushing straight to his cock. 

“We’re alone.” He thought for a long moment, trying to plot out enough time for them both, while he was trying to imagine Raven’s head thrown back against her shoulders, _ gasping his name _. “Until Sunday afternoon at least. But that’s plenty of time.”

“O-oh.” Her eyes were wide, lips parted as she took a slow, soft breath. He watched color creep up her neck and flood her cheeks. Raven swallowed and met his stare. “And _ what _ does that give us plenty of time for?”

Damian didn’t need to be coy anymore. He pitched forward and pressed his lips tight against her own, his mouth moving slow over hers, tasting every kiss like it was their first. She sighed and leaned into him, his hand rubbing over the top of his thigh as she leaned closer to him. Before they had been interrupted, their kisses had been hot and harsh, more desperate than anything else. But, now it felt like there was so much more between them, and they wanted to explore it like it was the first time. Everything felt delicious and _ new _, and Damian wanted to take all night if he needed to. 

He sunk his teeth into her lower lip, his tongue tracing the soft, fullness of her mouth before he pulled back. 

Raven’s face flushed in the thin light in the living room. “Are you…”

“I’m _ trying _ to seduce you.” He snorted loudly, annoyed. Maybe it was that he felt stretched too thin, or that his head was still foggy from his concussion, or literally _ anything else _ , but he felt like he was about to _ snap. _ He wanted her under him _ now _. “But if you’d rather I just forego normal seduction and just bury my mouth between your legs and eat you out to make my point clear, I can do that as well.”

Raven sucked in breath, her face darkening even more. “O-oh.”

Damian leaned forward, his mouth finding hers again, stealing another slow kiss. If this was a dream, he’d happily live here forever. Raven melted into him, her fingers burying in his hair as she met every kiss eagerly. Damian’s hands crept under the hem of the shirt she was wearing - his, of course - and pushed it up over her breasts. _ God _. She looked gorgeous in this light, all soft curves and smooth, perfect skin. His thumb traced her nipple, teasing it into a tight peak as she sighed between kisses.

Raven broke away just long enough to pull the shirt off over her head, and then strip out of her leggings, throwing them on the floor. She lay there, _ naked _ and _ willing _ , and Damian didn’t think he could have ever imagined a more perfect sight. This _ had _ to be a dream, but he didn’t even care. She shivered and he leaned over her, watching as she tumbled back onto the soft cushions of the sofa. 

“We’re not sleeping tonight.” 

Raven chewed on her lower lip and she slowly spread her legs, shy and a bit nervous. _ Fuck _ . Damian thought his heart was about to burst out of his chest. She looked like a delicacy he hadn’t tasted in years, and Damian could feel his mouth water. He was going to eat her out until she was a sobbing mess, screaming into the pillows as she came again and again _ and again _. He licked his lips and leaned over her, nipping at her lower lip. 

“We’re _ definitely _ not sleeping tonight.” 

“With all due respect…” Her voice was low and husky, betraying her own need, and she reached up to thread her fingers in his hair again, pulling him close to her. She pressed a soft kiss to his lower lip. “I don’t think we’re going to be sleeping all weekend.” 

Damian reached for her, and-

“_ Oh, for fucks sake! _”

He grabbed his buzzing phone out of his pocket, turned it off, and flung it across the room. That was it. _ Honestly _. He was going to kill whatever god was trying to interrupt this moment with her. Raven stifled a chuckle into her hand and Damian leveled a flat stare at her. 

Color filled her face again. “Ah, I’m sor-” 

Whatever else she was going to say dissolved into a low moan as Damian buried his mouth between her thighs. She was right, they weren’t going to sleep until next week. _ Gods _ she tasted so fucking good. He felt like a right mess, but he wasn’t sure if he cared. He pushed her thighs wider apart, hooking one leg over the back of the sofa. Raven flushed, color creeping down her neck as he pulled back to admire the sight of her. 

His eyes landed on the dark black lines of the rune on her chest, and he traced it with a fingertip. Tonight he had… _ No. _Damian winced, trying to block the images he had seen tonight from his mind. This was not the time. She didn’t know, and she didn’t need to know. Not yet, anyway. Right now, all he had to do was make love to her, and-

“Are you okay?” Her voice was soft, swallowed up by the silence of the room. “You… disappeared for a second there.”

“Mm.” Damian forced a smile, trying to throw his mind back into the task at hand - making her scream. “Just thinking about which part of you I want to devour first.” It was shameful how easily he could lie to her. He leaned forward and slid his thumb over her clit, giving her a slow grin, as she twitched under his touch. 

“You were doing a fine job before…” She sunk her teeth into her lower lip and shifted. 

“Oh?” Damian smirked and pressed his thumb harder against her clit, drawing slow circles over it. Her hips shifted again, and her back arched again. Damian hummed low in his throat. “With my hand or my tongue?”

She whimpered, her hips pushing up into his touch. “Tongue.”

“Like this?” He leaned down and flicked his tongue against her clit, hearing a soft whine fill the space between them. _ Yes. _ That was what he needed to forget tonight - her cries filling his senses. He circled her clit with his tongue, before tasting her again. She was wet, and she tasted heady, like sin and salt and a hundred emotions he didn’t have a name for. A shiver slipped down his spine and he curled two fingers inside her, feeling her welcome him easily. It had been years since either of them had been with each other, and she was tight. He was going to have to take extra care to prepare her… not that he minded. Watching her come after all this time apart was going to be the most fulfilling thing he would ever see.

“_ Oh. _” Her head fell back along the sofa and she sighed, her fingers threading through his hair. “Just like that.” 

Damian took time exploring her, his fingers thrusting in and out slowly, letting the heat build just under her skin. He swirled his tongue over her clit, spelled out his name, and then wrapped his lips around her and _ sucked _ . She was so damn responsive, it was easy to see what she wanted. Raven arched off the sofa, a loud cry escaping as her hand tightened in his hair almost painfully. He smirked and sucked harder, his fingers now a blur inside her as she trembled around him. She was so damn close and watching her spill over the edge was going to be… _ delicious _. 

He curled his fingers harder, and her whole body tightened around him with another cry. She was gasping, sobbing, every little bit of her ready to go off, and Damian just watched the show. He lifted his eyes to watch her back arch and her skin flush, her breasts heaving with each gasp, as she fell into oblivion. She looked _ gorgeous _. Wanton and sensual, a mess of emotions as raw as his own, and his own cock strained at the sight of her. He wanted to be inside her, feeling her tremble around him as he fucked her so hard she lost control of herself. 

Finally, Raven sagged against the sofa, gasping and twitching with each slow pass of Damian’s tongue as he worked her back from the edge. She whimpered as he pulled back and licked his lips, determined not to waste a drop of her. 

“Better?” Damian was allowed to be at least a _ little _ smug.

She lifted her eyes to his and nodded slowly, unable to say anything at all. 

“Good.” He leaned over her, his fingers parting her easily. “Then… maybe we should do that again.”

She flushed and reached up to wrap one arm around his neck, while the other was pushing at the soft waistband of his sweatpants. “How about we skip to the part where you fuck me so hard I forget my own name?”

Damian growled and practically ripped his pants off, hearing Raven’s soft throaty chuckle at the sound of tearing fabric. He’d care about it later, but right now he needed to be inside her. His fingers found her hair and he pulled her mouth tight against his own, stealing kiss after kiss until they were both gasping and shaking. He could forget everything when he was with her, and sometimes that’s all he wanted - to lose himself to her. Being with Raven felt like being home.

He entered her slowly at first, savoring the feel of her like it was their first time all over again. She felt like heaven - tight and welcoming, and Damian knew he wouldn’t last long. Not like this, when he was so eager to have her. Raven sighed and her arms wrapped tight around his shoulders as she shivered against him, each breath brushing against her cheek. Damian felt… _ lost _ . Like everything that had made him who he was, was now being re-written. Raven made him want to be different - _ better _ than who he was before. He shivered and sighed when he was fully inside her, his mouth pressing kisses along her neck. 

Raven whimpered and shifted against him, and Damian felt the world go blank. It was just him and her, and all he wanted to do was make her scream. He spread her legs wider, one arm slipping under the small of her back as he pulled back and thrust into her again, angling his hips so that he rubbed her clit with each push of his body against her own. Raven’s fingers dug into his back, and her head tipped back against her shoulders.

“_ Damian _…”

Hearing her say his name like that - weak and filled with lust and need, Damian was surprised he didn’t lose himself right there. He growled low in his throat and thrust harder, quicker, watching as she shook with each push of his body. Her nails dug into his skin, but he didn’t care, the pain just somehow made the pleasure even better. It was like lightning was snapping over his skin, and he wanted to feel every aching touch. His voice dropped low and he growled, pushing into her harder and faster, losing all sense of time. Her hips pushed up to meet his own, sighs and curses falling from her lips. 

Damian bent over her, stealing another desperate kiss from her lips. Raven’s nails tightened in his, and he dropped his mouth to her ear. 

“_ My love, you are mine. _ ” His voice was low, a rumble of thunder down her spine. “ _ You are my beloved. My only. And I vow to protect and keep you safe from everything that threatens to harm you. _ ” Damian’s head felt heavy, like he was drowning in his own words, and he was too far gone to know what language he was speaking in. But he knew he needed to tell her how he felt, what he promised himself and her. She would always be his, and he _ would _ keep her safe. No matter what. 

Damian hissed out a ragged curse as her body tightened around his, and his teeth nipped at her throat, feeling a scream build inside her. She was like a vice around his cock, and Damian shivered as he thrust once more, watching as stars seemed to explode in the shadows of her eyes. 

Raven came _ hard _ , her voice so loud that Damian was worried she might wake the neighbors. Her head tipped back on the pillows and she cried out, her body flushing as she seemed to disappear in his arms. Damian was barely able to admire the sight before he joined her, colors exploding behind his eyes. _ Fuck _ . This felt so… _ damned good. _ He felt her name tumble from his lips as his skin tightened and his body lit up in a show of fireworks. It felt like he was falling into oblivion, chasing after her. Seconds seemed to stretch into hours, and he pitched forward, catching himself on his forearms as he swallowed air. 

Raven twitched beneath him, aftershocks tightening her muscles before she sagged against the sofa. Her hands eased against his back, and she ran her fingers up and down his spine aimlessly, taking slow, calming breaths. She shivered, aftershocks slipping through her body. Damian took a deep breath, pressing slow, open-mouth kisses along her jaw. A long moment of silence stretched between them, and Damian wasn’t exactly sure what they were supposed to say. 

“_ Fuck. _”

Damian snorted, feeling oddly joyful and relaxed, and looked down at her, lifting an eyebrow. “I don’t know how to interpret that?”

Raven just smiled and pulled him down for another kiss. 

-

“_ Come on, baby _.”

Raven whimpered as she pitched forward, her hands on Damian’s shoulders as she drove herself down onto his thick cock. She didn’t remember their first time ever feeling _ this good _. Her legs were burning as every nerve ending seemed to be on fire, primed and ready to go off. She gasped as he leaned forward and stole a heady kiss from her, his tongue sweeping across her lower lip. She shivered and tightened around him, and Damian groaned into her kiss before pulling away. 

Early morning sun spilled through the open blinds, lighting up Damian’s face with soft, warm light. He looked _ stupidly _ handsome like this - dark cheeks flushed, eyes wild, hair a mess - and he kept making her feel so… _ sensual _, like she was made for pleasure. A shiver ran down her spine and she let go of another gasp, feeling like electricity was dancing over her skin, burning her and breaking her at the same time. Damian pushed himself farther up on the pillows, one hand snaking up her back while the other bit into her hip. He met each of her downward thrusts with one of his own, their bodies coming together in a way that had her seeing stars. 

“I can feel how close you are.” His voice was a low grumble, and the hand on her hip slipped between their bodies, his thumb finding her clit. She twitched and her head fell back along her shoulders, gasping. _ Fuck _ . How did this still feel so damn good? She should have broken apart ages ago, but he was keeping her together, driving her higher and higher until she thought she might _ actually _ explode.

Damian nuzzled her throat, his voice just as strained as hers was. “_ Come for me. Come hard. _ ” His tongue feathered over her pulse, and he nipped at her jaw. “ _ I want to hear you say my name.” _

His encouragement was going to shatter her entire soul, and his hands were the tool that would break her. He pressed his thumb harder against her clit, and without much more effort, Raven felt herself practically _ soaring _ through her orgasm. She opened her mouth and cried out, fingers digging into Damian’s shoulders as she felt every muscle in her body contract around him. Light filled her whole form and she felt like time had no meaning. All that mattered was this glorious feeling, and Damian in her arms. 

Damian followed her easily, muttering out something in another language as his teeth bit into her neck. Pain mingled with pleasure and Raven felt her orgasm intensify, like she was was a supernova, and she tightened around him. Silence settled over them both, as they sat there gasping and shaking, weak and desperate, and yet somehow full. Raven shivered as he stilled beneath her, pressing slow kisses up her neck to her jaw. 

He smirked against her skin, a low chuckle escaping. “I probably should have let you sleep a bit more.” Damian looked stupid and smug, and she wanted to wipe that look off his face, but… considering her current situation, she doubted she had the energy. 

“We got a few hours in last night.” She crawled off him, twitching as his cock slid out of her. How did _ that _ even feel good? She glanced at the clock. “You’re the one with class in an hour.” 

“Mm.” He stood up and Raven let herself admire him for a long moment. “If I didn’t have to turn in that paper, I’d stay here with you.” 

Her face fell. “I don’t think I’d survive.”

He smirked. “That’s the point.” He leaned over her and gave her a long, slow kiss, his hand cupping her breast. Even though she had just broken apart in his arms, he was waking her up again, making her feel alight with pleasure. His thumb feathered her nipple and he pulled away with another teasing smile. 

Without another word, he made his way to the bathroom, but chose not to invite her. Not that she blamed him. If she followed him into the shower, they might not ever make it out. Raven laid back on his bed and sighed, staring at the ceiling. Every muscle in her body felt weak and stretched thin, and somehow she felt… _ so good _. She stretched slowly, listening to the soft sound of water running in the bathroom. 

For the first time in a while, she felt… _ good _ . Happy. Protected. Even… _ content. _ She swung her legs over the edge of the bed, her body protesting with the movement, and made her way to the guest bathroom to clean herself up. When she was done, Raven hunted through the apartment for the clothes that had somehow gotten lost in the space last night. She really needed to ask Damian to take her shopping for new clothes, but… she didn’t know how to ask him. It wasn’t exactly like she had money of her own, and she didn’t want him to think she was taking advantage of him. But, she couldn’t spend the rest of her life in his clothes, as comfortable as they were. 

She pulled on her leggings and his t-shirt, and found his phone where it had ended up last night. She turned it back on and let it boot up while she fed Titus. After Damian left, she’d take him out for a quick walk down the street. 

Damian’s phone buzzed and Raven looked down at the screen, seeing the first line of a text from Dick. 

_ Sent you pics from last night. Wild. _

Raven blinked. A _ wild _ night, where he Damian had come home smelling of wine and perfume? She rubbed her forehead and set the phone down on the counter, her heart heavy as she stared at the screen. Maybe… maybe she was misunderstanding what that meant, but… what _ else _ could it mean? What else could _ a wild night _ be, except… Raven shook her head and turned away from the phone. Damian would tell her the truth if she asked him, but she didn’t want to seem paranoid. They weren’t really together. They were just starting over, and Raven shouldn’t assume that just because they had slept together a few times, that they were back to where they had left off. As much as Damian wanted to believe that they could. 

“Good morning.” Damian came out in a pair of dark jeans and a henley, his hair still damp from his shower. He gave her a smirk, which went straight down her spine and burned her blood. 

Raven flushed and looked away, handing his phone out to him. “I turned it back on. It looks like Dick texted you this morning.”

Damian unlocked his phone and stared at the screen, his face remaining steely and unreadable. There was a dark shadow that passed over his eyes, and his lips twitched as though there was something eating at him, but whatever it was, he kept it to himself. “Mm. I’ll deal with this later.” He shoved his phone in his back pocket and leaned over to kiss her on the cheek. “I’ll be back in a few hours. Be _ careful _ when you’re out with Titus. Don’t stay out too long. Watch for people following you. We don’t need to alert Blood to your presence on earth.”

“I know.” 

His face softened and he met her stare again. “I love you.”

Raven’s heart felt heavy as she thought about his _ wild night _ last night. “I love you too.”

He kissed her softly before heading out the door, leaving Raven feeling confused and broken all over again. 

What in the world was she even _ doing _ here?


	7. Chapter Six

Damian didn't want to admit to himself that he was at least a  _ little _ tired. Admitting he was tired meant that he regretted staying up as late as he did, and he  _ didn’t _ regret that. Not one bit. Of course, he knew he shouldn’t have stayed up as late as he did, and he definitely shouldn't have woken her up so early this morning, but… he  _ wanted _ to. 

It had been well over two years since he had last seen her, and while he had gone out to galas or on bland dates with other girls, Damian hadn’t actually  _ liked _ any of them. At least not enough to explore anything beyond a few hours at a restaurant or at a charity auction. Having Raven back in his life meant he finally had an end to his self-imposed dry spell. And, judging by the eager responses from her both last night and this morning, Raven hadn’t minded the lack of sleep  _ too much _ . She still looked absolutely  _ gorgeous _ with her head tipped back in pleasure, and for a few blissful minutes, it felt like they were living in an entirely different world. 

Damian rubbed his face and pretended to take notes when the professor narrowed her eyes on him. Normally he’d glare in her direction and point out the inconsistencies in her lecture, but today it would be easier if he just pretended that she was  _ actually _ teaching him something new. At the very least it would keep her off his case for awhile longer. 

His phone buzzed and Damian reached for it under the small desk he was at, taking a peek at his screen. It was a text from an unassigned number in his phone. 

_ We've got your girlfriend. She's ours forever. _

Damian had never panicked so quickly before. The anger and darkness inside him felt instantaneous, like he was ready to burst into flames. His heart stopped in his chest and he began plotting all the ways he could find and kill Blood. If Raven even had a  _ scratch _ on her, Damian would fly into a rage he wasn’t sure if he would be able to return from. There would be real blood in the streets. He’d become the man his grandfather hoped he would be. 

Eyes narrowed and lips pressed into a thin line, he scrambled for his bag, already preparing an excuse to run from class. His phone vibrated again and he glanced down at it, staring at a picture of Raven’s face, pressed uncomfortably between Cass and Steph, a small, tilted smile pulling at her lips. 

_ Oh, for fucks sake.  _

His shoulders dropped and he let go of a deep breath, his head falling into his hands as the adrenaline inside him subsided. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, making a note to have a very  _ firm _ conversation with his siblings about what was happening with Raven. So that they didn’t send him into a blind rage with every careless text. Cass and Steph must have come to the apartment and forced Raven out of it. That was… dangerous, but out of his control. And, at least Raven seemed to have a real phone now. 

_ You really should have gotten her a phone sooner. When were you going to tell us she was back?  _

_ Never _ .  _ If I had the option. _ Damian pocketed his phone and stared at his professor, taking another few notes so it still looked like he was paying attention. His phone buzzed again.

_ Come see us when you’re done with class. We’re getting her clothes since you can’t be bothered to buy her anything new. Honestly. She’s lounging around in your shirt and a pair of leggings.  _

_ I was busy. _

_ Too busy to buy her proper underwear? Or maybe you were planning on keeping her naked the whole time she was here. It all makes sense now. _

Damian ignored the text, setting his jaw as he stared blankly at the presentation on the screen up front. He didn’t want to think about Raven out in a very public place, shopping and being surrounded by a million different variables that could all go wrong. Trigon could learn she was back on this earth. A cultist could spot her and tell Blood. Or Blood could see her directly. They still didn’t know where he was, only that he was setting up rooms filled with somewhat reluctant cultists still trying to summon Raven. 

Last night’s discovery just served as a warning to what could happen, and Damian suppressed a shiver as he thought about the raven splayed out on the makeshift altar, bloodied and beaten, it’s heart missing. He didn’t want to admit that he’d woken up in the middle of the night, a nightmare forcing him to see Raven in that same pose. 

There had been fire in his dream, and Raven’s body was splayed out over the altar, stripped naked and covered with glowing runes breaking seals on her skin. There had been the sound of chanting and the smell of smoke - charred flesh filling the space until it choked him. If it was like any of the dreams Raven was having, then he could see why she was so scared. Each dream served as a promise that Blood was close, and Trigon was likely near as well. Everything was getting  _ too _ dangerous, and the more Raven was out of the house and around town, the more likely Blood could learn that she was here on earth. 

But, on the other hand, it wasn’t fair to Raven to keep her cooped up in his apartment all day. She deserved to be out with her friends, and if he wanted to keep her safe, then there was no one he trusted more than his family - as  _ annoying _ as they might be. He thought he was actually going to kill Jason and Dick yesterday, after they had shown up at his house uninvited. 

Damian glanced down at his phone as it buzzed again. It was a picture of Raven standing inside an upscale lingerie store, looking incredibly uncomfortable, while Zachary stood behind her, his face as red as the lacy negligee Steph was holding out to Raven. 

_ She’s picking out something for you. _

Oh, for fuck’s sake. Damian's head fell into his hands and he sighed. They were never going to let this go until he met up with them. He stood up, ignoring the stares that followed his movements, and Damian glanced at his professor.

"I have a family emergency." He tapped his phone a few times and gathered his things. "The paper is in your inbox as you requested. I’ll follow the syllabus and read chapter ten through twelve for class next week." Without another explanation, Damian slung his bag over his shoulder and walked out of the room. He doubted anyone was going to say anything to him while they were all sitting in a building that bore his family’s name, using tech emblazoned with the Wayne Industries logo.

“ _ Fine. _ ” His professor looked like she was going to say something, but ground her teeth together. “You’ll be missing points for attendance.”

Damian gave a halfhearted wave and made his way to the door. He wasn’t going to be able to focus, knowing Raven was out and about with a hopeless magic user and his adoptive sisters. He needed to be with her so that  _ he _ at least felt like he had some kind of control over the situation.

He made his way through campus and picked up his car, driving it to the other side of town to a luxury department store not too far from his apartment. It felt too close to danger, and he didn’t want to think about Raven being exposed and vulnerable to an attack. There were too many people here. Too many places to hide. Too many things they couldn’t control, and Raven was at risk. He just  _ knew it.  _ His nerves felt frayed and broken as Damian parked his car and searched through the store for them. 

He found Raven, Steph, Cass, and Zachary in a cafe on the top floor. Zachary looked utterly exhausted, and Raven seemed as though she’d been barreled over by his sisters as she halfheartedly poked at a piece of berry cake. Although, judging by the dozens of bags surrounding her, she probably was. He glanced around the cafe, but nothing  _ seemed _ out of place, and nothing made him  _ too _ uncomfortable. For right now, she was safe, but he didn’t know how long that would last.

“I see you bought half the store.” Damian sighed and rubbed his forehead as he looked at them. “What in the world did you  _ buy? _ And  _ how _ am I going to fit it into my car?”

“Good to see you too.” Steph waved him off, huffing out a soft breath. “Raven didn’t even have underwear, Dami. The poor girl needs  _ underwear _ . And you’d fit it into your car if you drove something more sensible.”

He sneered at her, still forcing his heart to calm down. His skin felt itchy as he stood here, like he was just _ waiting _ for something to happen. 

“We got her a few new things.” Cass took a sip of her tea, leveling a dark stare at him. “Leggings and your t-shirts do not make a wardrobe.”

Damian huffed, but knew better than to give a response they could read. If he was honest, he  _ liked _ seeing her in his clothes, and he didn’t see what it was a problem that she wore them all the time. If he had his way, she wouldn’t wear anything at all. Ignoring the teasing from his sisters, he settled in an empty chair next to Zachary, who looked just as tired as Raven. 

“I happened to stop by just as they were leaving.” Zachary ran a hand down his face and groaned. “I don’t know where in the world your family gets this energy, or why they feel like they need to include me in everything.”

“You’re collateral damage, Zatara.” Cass smirked and pointed to him with her fork. “You were in the vicinity of Raven when we decided to go out, so you get to come along. Besides, you and Damian have been spending all that time together, we figured you were friends anyway.”

“ _ Tch _ .” Damian glared. “As if I would be friends with a  _ Zatara _ willingly.”

Zachary’s face fell and he rolled his eyes. “Other than the fact that we’ve spent the last two and a half years looking for Raven,  _ same _ .”

“I only put up with you because sometimes you get things done.”

“That  _ almost _ sounded like a compliment, Damian.” Zachary snorted and leaned back into his chair, taking a drink of coffee in front of him. “If I wasn’t so tired by your family dragging me all around the city like a bad penny, I’d shed a tear of joy.”

Raven snorted into the back of her hand, and looked away when they both turned their stares to her. Damian glanced around the cafe again, still feeling on edge and looking for anything that might have tipped him off to something dangerous. But, other than the mile-long receipt dangling from Steph’s purse, it seemed relatively safe - for now. He hated feeling like this, like he was on edge just  _ waiting _ for something terrible to happen, but also knew that the moment he let his guard down, something bad  _ would _ happen. It was just better to stay vigilant, until he could get Raven back to his apartment and  _ know _ she was safe.

Steph caught his stare and they somehow had an entire conversation without saying anything at all. She leaned forward, catching Raven’s stare. “Okay, Raven.” Steph started ticking items off her fingers. “We got you underwear, and new leggings, jeans, tops, bras, shoes, socks, toiletries, make up, perfume… what are we missing… hmm? Oh!” She snapped her fingers and stood up. “ _ Formal wear _ .”

Raven’s eyes widened and panic filled her face. “What? What  _ for? _ ”

“Well, if you’re back on earth, then Damian won’t be taking no-name socialites to galas and benefits anymore. He’ll be taking  _ you _ .” She shrugged and waved her off. “So, we better get you the right formal wear.”

Raven’s head whipped to look at Damian. “They’re not serious are they?”

“You can’t be borrowing last seasons dresses from us all the time, Rae!” Steph grabbed Raven’s arm and pulled her to her feet, taking steps towards the elevator. “It’s fine in a pinch, but if you’re going to be a part of this family and going out to all of these things, then you’re going to have to go through all the same tortures  _ we _ do - including buying formal wear.”

“Be a part of the family? What?” Raven let herself be dragged along away from the table. She turned around and reach out to Zachary and Damian. “Wait! Guys!  _ Help! _ ”

Damian winced as Steph took her downstairs to the formal department, Raven giving him the most  _ pathetic _ expression ever. He didn’t blame her. Letting her be whisked away by Steph wasn’t exactly his  _ finest _ moment, but… he had to get Raven away for at least a little bit. It would be easier to make to explain what happened last night without trying to make up  _ another _ lie he had to tell her. Finally, Damian leaned back in his chair and sighed, his shoulders dropping as he dug a thumb into his temple, trying to ward off a headache. 

“You nearly gave me a heart attack this afternoon.” Damian dropped his voice and looked over at Cass. “I thought Raven had  _ actually _ been kidnapped.” 

“Sorry. I shouldn’t have phrased it  _ quite _ like that.” Cass at least had the good sense to look somewhat apologetic. “Dick let me know what was going on with the cults that are popping up over the city, but I haven’t had a chance to actually look over the data yet. Steph reviewed it this morning, and it doesn’t look…  _ good _ .” 

_ That _ was an understatement.

“We investigated one of the cults last night, and it’s…” Damian let his words drift off, unsure what he was supposed to say. What  _ should _ he say? They were getting worse, and more dangerous. If they didn’t find a way of fixing this soon,  _ everyone _ was going to be in danger, not  _ just _ Raven. He pulled out his phone and set it in front of them, showing some of the pictures. “These are some of the shots Dick took at the scene last night. They’re gruesome, and  _ dark _ .”

“Is Blood getting closer to finding Raven?” Zachary leaned over the table and looked at the pictures, his face twisting. “Or is he just getting more insane?”

“I don’t know. Maybe both.” Damian rubbed his forehead, the pounding behind his eyes getting heavier. He  _ needed _ to get Raven back home, for his own sanity at this point. “Last night most of the cultists didn’t even seem to know what they were doing. It was as if they had been tricked into a haze. But there were a few that somehow knew  _ exactly _ what they were doing. They were fanatical, screaming and howling about waking the gem - whatever that means.” 

“Raven  _ did _ say that she was a portal for Trigon.” Zachary flicked through the images on Damian’s phone, not looking up. “Do you think that maybe that’s what the gem is? Is all of this an elaborate spell to bring Trigon to earth?” Zachary tapped his fingers on the table, chewing on his lower lip. “Think about it. Blood started a pact with Trigon to get Raven here. Trigon uses Blood to get to this earth of conquer it, and in return, he gives Raven and all of her powers to Blood.”

“He’s got a point.” Cass hummed. “A  _ really _ good point.”

_ No.  _ Damian didn’t want to think about that. His stomach roiled under the weight of that possibility. It was one thing to think that Blood was looking for her for his own twisted reasons, but it was an entirely different thing to think of Raven being a bargaining chip in a situation she couldn’t control. Blood would easily give her up to her father, and in return, likely expected that he would control Raven for the rest of her life. It made Damian sick to think about, and it added one more line item in his growing list of why he  _ should _ kill Blood. 

“So… what do we do?” Zachary rubbed at his jaw, glancing up at them. “We can’t keep this from Raven forever.”

Damian wanted to. Raven could be rash and reckless when she felt she needed to, and if she felt like she was putting her friends in danger, she  _ would _ run. She would run because she thought she was trying to protect them, and Damian knew that she couldn’t let her run again. Not after what had happened before. He needed to protect her, and he wanted to her feel like she could believe in him. As stupid and selfish as that sounded.

“We tell her the truth when it’s a better time.” Damian rubbed his forehead and tried not look as exhausted as he felt. “When we have  _ more _ to tell her at least. Right now all we have is speculation.”

“If we  _ told her now _ we could at least have her help with this, instead of just assuming that we know best for her.” Cass gave Damian a flat stare. “She’s a  _ sorcerer _ , Damian. She’s the daughter of a demon and she can probably kick your ass into next week if she tried hard enough. Instead she’s too busy giving you big doe eyes that she doesn’t even see her own strength.”

Damian glared. “She does  _ not _ give me  _ doe eyes _ .”

“You’re just as bad.” Zachary grinned at him. “You should see the simpering look you give her when she walks away.”

They were going to die. He was  _ definitely _ going to kill them. “I’m going to kill you.  _ Both  _ of you.” 

“So you’ve mentioned a hundred times before, and yet I’m still alive.  _ Funny _ .” Zachary took a long drink of his tea and smirked, as if taunting him. Finally he reached out for Damian’s phone, flicking through the pictures. He paused, the color draining from his face. “What’s this?”

Damian looked over at his phone and sighed. “It’s from last night. It was a sacrificial raven.”

“This raven doesn’t look normal.” Zachary looked up, his eyebrows knitting together. “Did you inspect it?” 

“No. Not really.” Damian shook his head and leaned over the table. “There wasn’t time. Why?”

“Look at this.” Zachary zoomed in on the face of the raven and handed the phone back to Damian. “It has an extra set of eyes.” 

“The bird does?” Damian took the phone from Zachary and placed it between himself and Cass. They looked at the picture slowly and Damian felt his stomach drop. Zachary was  _ right _ , there  _ was _ another set of eyes in the raven’s skull. He hadn’t noticed it in the dark of the room last night, while he was fighting off a concussion. He’d been  _ careless _ and  _ stupid _ , and he had missed an obvious and crucial piece of evidence. What in the world did this  _ mean? _ “Do you think it’s a mutation?”

“Maybe.” Cass rubbed her jaw, thinking. “Or it could be something else. Maybe…” Cass trailed off, her voice drifting away as she thought. 

“Azarath.” Damian’s voice was stony, and he glanced back at the picture, sighing. His heart felt heavy, as if worry was weighing him down to the point he was losing control. “You’re thinking it might be from Azarath. That Blood somehow managed to  _ finally _ bring something here that he shouldn’t have had.”

Cass at least had the good sense to look apologetic, knowing that presenting this information was going to tip Damian over. He was already a bit wired, as much as he tried to hide it, and adding the possibility that Blood had successfully brought something over from Azarath was going to make it worse. She tilted her head to the side and shrugged, pretending that it didn’t matter  _ too _ much, but it was too late. “It could be. Or we could be thinking too much about it. It could be nothing. A mutation, just like you said.”

“Or it could be  _ something _ .” 

“We should take her to the scene to see if she recognizes any of the spells or runes.” Zachary said, his voice slow and even. He seemed to feel the daggers Damian was glaring at him, and shook his head, ignoring him. “She  _ asked _ , Damian. She asked us  _ both _ to go to the scene to see it. She  _ wanted _ to go there, and that means she knows what she is getting into.”

Damian swore under his breath with an annoyed huff. "It doesn't mean we  _ have _ to take her."

"We  _ should. _ "

"It's  _ dangerous. _ "

“ _ Everything _ we do is dangerous, Boy Wonder.”

Damian growled, but Cass rolled her eyes at him.

“Zachary is  _ right _ , Damian.” Cass looked over at him with a small sigh. Damian glared at her, but Cass didn’t back down. “And you’re not wrong either. This  _ is _ dangerous, and I understand that you want to protect her from Blood and Trigon and whatever else might be out there. But, Raven is also one of the strongest people you know. She can hold her own when she needs to, and we’ll be with her when we investigate. If we…  _ trigger _ something, or if it’s not something Raven thinks she can handle, we can protect her if you feel we need to.”

Goddamnit. She was being  _ sensible _ . 

Damian’s head fell into his hands and his sighed. He didn’t want to think about it. Putting Raven in that position could lead to something  _ horrible _ and  _ irreversible  _ happening to her. They  _ could  _ trigger a trap. Blood could learn she was back. It could be some kind of ambush. There could be more cultists waiting to sacrifice her. A list of all the things that could go wrong started running through his head, and Damian groaned again. He didn’t want to think about it. He didn’t want to think about putting Raven in  _ any _ kind of danger. If he could wrap her up and whisk her away to anywhere other than here, he would. In a heartbeat. 

But he also knew Raven wouldn’t want to live her life being coddled. Not by him, and not by anyone else. She  _ was _ strong, and  _ brave _ , and she  _ could _ handle her own, but… Damian wanted to be the one who protected her. He felt ridiculous even  _ thinking _ it, and as stupid and archaic as that felt to him, it was the truth. He wanted to protect her from all the horrible things that were out there hunting her, and somehow still keep from her that he was Robin. 

He couldn’t have it both ways, as much as he  _ didn’t _ want to admit that.

_ Ugh _ . What a  _ mess _ .

“You should tell her.”

Damian turned and gave Zachary a flat stare, but Zachary was unfazed. 

“She’s going to find out eventually, and you  _ should _ tell her. You can’t be orchestrating an investigation as Robin,  _ and _ trying to keep the truth from her.” Zachary leaned back in his chair and stared at Damian, crossing his arms over his chest. “If you tell her now, at least you can do it on your own terms. And at least it will answer all the questions you’ve left her with when you disappear in the middle of the night with Jon.”

Cass clicked her tongue, disapproving. “You haven’t told her yet?”

He snorted. “What am I supposed to say?  _ I’m Robin. That’s why I sneak out at night with Jon, and come back looking like I got into a street brawl. _ ” Rolling his eyes, Damian turned away and cursed under his breath. “I’ll tell her when the time is right. But right now, when we are trying to keep her safe from Blood and her father, it’s  _ not _ the right time.”

“There’s never going to be a right time.” Cass shrugged and took a sip of her tea. “But keeping this from her is only going to hurt more when she finally finds out. She’s going to be mad, and you’re going to have to deal with the fallout of a pissed off sorcerer who suddenly knows you’re not as breakable as you make it seem.”

Damian glared at her, his lips twitching. “I hate it when you’re right.”

Cass smirked. “I know.”

“We’ll take Raven to the scene tomorrow night. I’ll be there. You contact Dick to get us into the scene and make it look…  _ legitimate _ .” Zachary’s voice was firm, as if he was putting his foot down and telling Damian exactly what they needed to do. “Whether or not you tell Raven who you are before then, is up to you. But she’s  _ going _ to find out, Damian. You’re not a very good liar.”

Damian scoffed. “I can lie.”

Zachary rolled his eyes. “Not to her.” He smirked. “ _ Simpering look _ , remember?”

“ _ Shut up _ .”

-

Raven felt like her entire body was going to fold in on itself as she  _ finally _ hung up the last piece of clothing along the bare side of Damian’s walk-in closet. She had known that Cass and Steph were practically  _ ruthless _ when it came to things like shopping, but she didn’t remember it ever being  _ this _ bad. She didn’t even know how to use half of the things they bought for her, but they had talked her into buying them anyway. 

Raven paused and looked out the window, watching as the last bit of sunlight seemed to sink behind the jagged skyline. Darkness stretched towards her, and she realized how  _ quiet _ things were here. How…  _ peaceful _ it was. It felt like the rest of the world was a different place entirely, and she was alone in the soft silence of Damian’s apartment. She found she  _ liked _ the silence, and she  _ liked _ feeling welcome in his apartment, like she had a place with him. Being here with him made it feel almost like… like  _ home _ . 

_ Ugh _ . That was a ridiculous thought. This wasn’t home. His apartment was barely a place  _ he _ called home. Damian and her were still adjusting to each other again, and it wasn’t going to do her any good if she kept thinking that this was  _ home _ for her. She would be rushing too fast into… whatever this was between them. They both needed time before she started thinking of this apartment as  _ her place. _ And she needed time before she started thinking of Damian as  _ hers _ . 

She chewed on her lip and turned away from the window, sighing. 

_ I send you pics from last night. Wild. _

The words kept ringing through her head, echoing loudly and reverberating until it felt like someone was shouting them at her. A wild night. He came home smelling of cheap perfume and wine. It could have been  _ anything _ , and there could be a very  _ logical _ explanation for last night… or it could be exactly what she had feared. 

Maybe she  _ was _ the  _ other woman _ . Steph had said that Damian had taken socialites to benefits and galas before, and  _ of course _ he did. Damian was young and handsome and an heir to the Wayne Family, he couldn’t show up to things like galas without a date. And if he was going to bring a date, he would have to take someone of the same social status. Someone beautiful and rich and exciting… someone completely  _ unlike _ her. 

Once again, she was reminded of the two different worlds they came from. She pushed at her hair and walked out of the room, gathering up all the empty bags and boxes, and feeling a bit like a fool. Money wasn’t exactly a worry of Damian and his family, but still… it wasn’t  _ hers _ , and she didn’t know how in the world she was going to repay him for all of this. 

Well… there were  _ other _ options…  _ _

Her eyes flicked to the chest of drawers, knowing full well that Steph had somehow managed to talk her into a few things she  _ definitely _ didn’t need. As much as she enjoyed watching that soft weakness in Damian’s eyes, she wasn’t sure if she was ready to flaunt the entirety of herself enrobed in black lace for him. She ignored the thought of putting on lingerie for Damian, and instead walked down the hall to his office, knocking quietly on the door. 

“Come in.”

Raven poked her head into his office and gave a small smile. “Are you finished with that report for Tim yet?”

“Close.” He looked up at her and his expression softened a little, shadows darkening his eyes. His stare swept down the length of her and he stood up. “But… I could use a break.”

“Dinner?” Raven chewed on her lower lip and moved further into her space. Her heart felt like it was about to explode out of her chest. Even after everything they had done last night and this morning, it still felt so  _ new _ . It felt like they were starting over from the beginning, even though he said he wanted to pick up where they left off. He’d indulged in so many parts of her, and yet she still felt shy asking for him to make love to her again. “Or…?”

“Or?” Damian smirked, and it made her feel like the world was spinning around her. He took a step towards her. “Or,  _ what? _ Dessert first?”

_ Yes. _

Raven closed the space between them, her hand resting on his chest, uncertain if it was an invitation or a caution. She could feel the steady rhythm of his heartbeat while her own heart fluttered wildly in her chest, and she looked up into his eyes. It felt like she was drowning in him, consumed by every ounce of his body until she was part of him.  _ Gods. _ Was she already so far gone that she couldn’t even hold onto her own self? And did it even matter?

Her hand slid up his chest. “If you’re offering…”

Damian smirked and leaned over her, his hand resting on her hip, thumb pressing into the dip of her waist. “Bold of you to assume I  _ wouldn’t _ offer,  _ habibti. _ ” The word played on his tongue like a flame, dancing out towards her, and Raven blushed at the endearment. He pressed a kiss to her forehead. “It’s been far too long and I am…  _ hungry _ for you.”

“This morning?” She lifted an eyebrow. “We-”

“ _ Not nearly enough. _ ” 

Damian pressed his soft, full lips to her own, and it felt like breath was being stolen from her whole form. He was relentless and demanding, and it felt…  _ so good. _ Raven’s hands tightened in his shirt and she pulled him closer, lifting herself up on tiptoes to match him kiss-for-kiss. Sparks seemed to snap between them, lighting up the soft darkness in the room. Raven’s teeth sunk into his lower lip, nipping playfully as she chased after his mouth. Damian made the most  _ interesting  _ sound in the back of his throat, something like a growl and a moan. He pulled back a scant inch and looked into her eyes.

“ _ Definitely _ not enough.”

_ Oh. _

Raven leaned into him again, stealing another kiss until she was shivering against him, desperate. His arm tightened around her waist and he spun her slightly, lifting her up to place her on the desk behind them. It felt like they were at the Academy all over again, cloistered in the magical book section as Damian dragged his hands over her, explored her, stole her breath from her lungs. Heat pooled low in her stomach, and Raven’s fingers tightened in his shirt, pulling him closer. 

“We’re not going to make it to-”

_ The doorbell _ .

Damian glared, but didn’t move. 

Raven blinked, hoping whoever was on the other side of the door would just  _ leave _ . 

The doorbell rang again.

“ _ Fuck _ .” Damian growled and raked his hands through his hair. “Who is-”

_ Doorbell. _

_ Doorbell. Doorbell. Doorbelldoorbelldoorbell. _

Raven huffed out an annoyed breath and walked through the apartment to the entryway. Who in the world was here at this time of night, unannounced, and  _ completely _ ruining her moment with Damian? She shoved at her hair and felt Damian follow after her, just as frustrated as she was. Raven reached for the door and threw it open, ready to scream. 

“Ah, thought you’d never answer the door,  _ love. _ ”


	8. Chapter Seven

Without even questioning what he was doing, Damian slammed the door in John Constantine’s face and turned the lock. He knew it wouldn’t keep Constantine out forever, but hopefully long enough that Damian could come up with some kind of plan that maybe saved his sanity. Damian rubbed his forehead with the heel of his palm and glared at nothing in particular. Some kind of _ warning _ would have been nice, but he should know better than to expect that level of civility from Constantine.

Raven blinked and jerked back from the door, looking up at Damian with wide eyes. “Who was-”

“Well, that’s  _ certainly _ no way to treat a guest.” 

Damian turned around to find Constantine pouring himself a glass of scotch in Damian’s kitchen, smirking at the two of them. Goddamnit. Of  _ course _ Constantine would use a spell to get past the locked door. He wanted to introduce Raven to Constantine in a situation where Damian had at least a  _ little _ bit of control. This was  _ not _ control. In fact, this was the absolute opposite of control. Damian ran his hand down his face and he cursed under his breath, trying to think of anything he could do to wrangle this situation into something manageable. 

“Here I am being polite and upstanding, making sure I use the door in case you were…  _ otherwise indisposed _ .” Constantine downed the glass of scotch in one gulp before pouring himself another. “And you shut the door in my face? A bit rude if you ask me.”

“I  _ wasn’t _ asking you.” Damian sighed and leaned back on his heels, glaring at him. “What are you doing here? And  _ unannounced _ ?” Constantine needed to learn not to just  _ show up _ because the wind took him somewhere. 

Constantine at least sipped his second glass of scotch, leaning against the counter as a tilted smirk played on his face. “Zee’s cousin sent me a message about a little half-demon needing some help, and I thought it would be best if I came and visited directly.” 

Damian gave him a flat stare, huffing out breath from his nose. “Phones exist, John.” 

“Nothing is quite as efficient as meeting your client in person.” He took another sip of the scotch and stood upright, still smirking. “Besides, you know how much I love Gotham in the fall.” 

“No one loves Gotham in the fall.” Damian’s face was flat and he crossed his arms over his chest. He had to find a way to get back at least  _ some iota _ of control, or he might actually kill Constantine. It wouldn’t be the first time that thought crossed his mind, and Damian doubted it would be the last. “What do you want?”

“Curiosity brought me. I thought all of Trigon’s children were imprisoned - magical or otherwise.” Constantine finished his drink and set the glass on the counter, his eyes darkening with a shadow of seriousness underneath his tilted, forcibly bright tone. “To find out that one is still alive and walking free seemed far too interesting to chat about on a phone call, baby bat.”

Damian bristled and glared at Constantine, but Raven didn’t seem to notice the snide nickname, or she was too overwhelmed with Constantine’s presence to care. Constantine blinked, lifted his eyebrows, and darted his stare between them in understanding. Damian half expected him to say something, but Constantine thankfully stayed quiet. He snorted and shook his head before walking around the kitchen island, his stare settling on Raven. 

“I take it you’re the half-demon in question, love?” Constantine didn’t wait for her to respond and he hummed softly under his breath as his eyes swept down the length of her. “I can’t believe you’re such a tiny thing. A magical nuclear weapon all wrapped up in a petite lass. Your brothers were imposing figures, but you seem almost human.”

If Raven was insulted by the jibe, she didn’t let it show on her face. “I see why Damian was hesitant on having me  _ actually _ meet you.” She gave Constantine a flat stare and sighed, crossing her arms over her chest. “You have all the social grace of an untrained monkey.” 

Constantine’s face fell and Damian snorted, a bubble of pride rising up in his chest. He was once again reminded that Raven could  _ definitely _ hold her own when she needed to. He should know better than to doubt her. 

“Sharp tongue, love.” Constantine gave a breathy laugh. “I can see why baby ba - ah,  _ Damian _ fancies you.” He clapped his hands together and took a step towards Raven. “So then, tell me all about what’s going on. From the beginning, if you would. Helps me from asking too many mundane questions.”

Damian looked over at Raven and she flushed, picking at the hem of her sweater. She was obviously trying to think of a way to explain what happened between them without it being so…  _ personal _ . Neither one of them wanted to admit that all of this was  _ technically _ their fault. If Raven hadn't tried to heal Damian all those years ago, she would have never found the seal that bound them together. Blood would have never looked for her, and everything would have stayed relatively normal.

Of course, Damian would have never paid her any mind, and he would have never fallen in love with her either. There  _ was _ good that came out of this chaos, even if it didn’t always feel like it. 

"It's… complicated."

Constantine snorted, but was otherwise unaffected by her response. "What isn't? Come now." He motioned for her to move along. "Spit it out, love. I’m simply here to help."

Raven opened her mouth, and before either of them knew what was really happening, she had spilled their entire history. It started with just the basics of what happened, but somehow grew into the complicated mess that it was. Every little detail was thrown into the open in front of all of them. She started at moment she had healed Damian and unearthed the seal that had been on Damian’s arm, and then moved to talk about Damian’s latent magic potential, to the curse of what would happen if they let their emotions get the best of them, to their feelings for each other, to Raven’s father trying to use Blood to get to her, to Blood trying to use Raven’s father to try and find her…  _ everything _ . 

Everything was coming out and into the open, and there wasn’t really a way to stop it. Damian felt like every secret was laid bare to Constantine, like his dirty laundry was just sitting in front of them, waiting for his inspection. At one point, Constantine had to raise his hand and pause her story, just so he could pour himself another drink. Although, to be fair, Damian didn’t really blame him. The whole story was complicated and sensational, and sometimes he didn’t even believe it himself. But all of it was as real as either of them could imagine. 

“... and now we’re here… trying to understand what Blood is doing, tapping into Trigon’s magic. Blood is getting closer to finding and using me, but right now I’m barely keeping him off my tracks with the rune on my chest. It won’t hold for much longer, and Blood  _ will _ learn that I’m back here on earth.” Raven finally took a deep breath and sunk on to a barstool around Damian’s kitchen island. Her shoulders dropped as though a weight had been lifted off her shoulders and she no longer had to carry it any more. 

Damian watched her for a long moment, and felt a dark spot of guilt burn in his chest. How long had she been holding all of that in? How long had she felt like she was trying to manage all of this by herself? He rubbed the back of his neck and glanced away, hoping she didn’t see how all of this affected him.

Raven pitched forward and ran her fingers through her hair, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. “Zachary and Damian said they would try to get me into the crime scene so I could take a look around. If I can get a better hold on what’s going on with the cult, I might be able to see more of what Blood is trying to do and make a plan.” She glanced up into Constantine’s face, silently pleading with him. “That’s all I want right now, just to stay hidden for a little bit longer, and to have enough time to make a plan. Can you… help? With that, at least?”

“That’s a bit of a tall order.” Constantine nodded once as if he was slowly unpacking everything she had just told him, finished his drink, and then gave Raven a thin smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Tell me, love. Is there something you brought back with you from Azarath? A trinket of some kind, like a necklace or a charm?”

She thought for a moment, obviously trying to piece together why Constantine would need to see anything she had brought back with her from Azarath. “There is a necklace that the monks gave me when I was young.” Raven blinked, her eyebrows knitting together. “I think it’s still in my sweater pocket?”

“Mm. If you could get it for me so I could have a look at it. It may be useful to helping us get a clearer picture of what is going on. Or see if I can finagle it into a protection spell for you.” Constantine watched her disappear down the hall. 

“What’s the necklace for?” Damian looked over at him. 

“To get her out of the room.” Constantine whipped around and glared at Damian, pointing a finger at him as he poured another glass of scotch. “Are you  _ mental? _ ”

Damian snarled. “What-”

“No. Shut up and listen to me.” Constantine’s eyes grew dark and he pitched forward, gnashing his teeth. “You have a  _ magical nuclear weapon _ shacking up with you, who has someone creating a  _ cult _ just to get to her, and you haven’t told her  _ who in the bloody hell you are? _ ” Constantine downed the glass of scotch and poured himself one more. “I  _ cannot _ believe you are so utterly daft. Do you even realize how much time you are wasting by trying to skirt around the obvious here?”

“It’s not that  _ simple _ .” Damian glared, gnashing his teeth. “It’s not like I can just blurt out -  _ oh by the way I’m Robin and the rest of my family are vigilantes _ .” 

“You’re a damned  _ al Ghul _ , baby bat. For the love of all that is good in this world, you’re a bloody weapon yourself. An assassin, a prodigy in your own right. The two of you together, with the rest of your utterly ridiculous connections will definitely be enough to stop Blood from getting his fingers into her even more. And yet you’re not using those connections. In fact, you’re not doing anything at all, except leading her on a wild goose chase because you’re too damn scared to admit your oh-so secret identity to her.”

“I’m not-”

“I’m having trouble finding it!” Raven called out from the bedroom, her voice soft. “I think I might have accidentally tucked it away with the new things I bought today. I’m still looking.”

“I appreciate it, love.” Constantine looked back at Damian, dropping his voice low. “This is going to blow up in your face. It’s going to become something you can’t control, and your connection to her will suffer. Trust me, I’ve been in your position enough times to know when things are about to go horribly awry.” 

Damian glared at him. “I know what I’m doing.”

“Ah, see. Here’s the thing, Dami. You  _ don’t _ . Zachary and you have already told her that you are going to take her to a crime scene, and while you can chalk that up to your connections with the GCPD, the truth is that she is going to find out. She’s going to learn about you, and your cute little kryptonian friend, and all the things you have been doing while she’s been away. She’s going to learn every secret and you’re going to have to confess to her.” Constantine leaned against the counter and glared. “And if I’ve gleaned enough about what her magic actually does, then you are in for a  _ world _ of hurt.” 

“I’ll tell her when it makes sense.” Damian cursed, feeling something akin to panic and worry start to bubble up in his chest. “And you don’t have to sit here and act like you know what’s best for us. I’m trying to protect her, trying to keep her safe, and she’ll know the truth when it’s time.” 

“I found it.” Raven came out and showed him the necklace. “I never thought it was anything special. Just a gift from my mentors.”

“Ah, but sometimes the most interesting secrets lie in the most mundane things. You never know until you investigate.” Constantine’s eyes flicked to Damian’s face and then back at the necklace. “Now, let’s take a look here and see what we have. I might be able to fashion another layer of protection for you with this.”

Damian clenched his jaw and watched as Raven sidled up next to Constantine, looking into the gem of the necklace. Constantine’s words hung in the darkness in the back of Damian’s mind.  _ Was _ Constantine right? Was this whole thing set to go up in flames?  _ No _ . Damian knew what he was doing. He  _ had _ to know. He’d thought carefully about this, regarded it from every angle he could, and this was the safest choice for Raven. He’d tell her the truth someday… just… not now.

-

“I’m not so sure about this, Raven.” Zachary’s voice sounded like it was swallowed by the dirt and dust motes around them, and she felt his shoulder brush against her own.

“It’s fine, Zachary.”

He snorted, the tone of his voice stating that he didn’t exactly agree with her. 

If Raven was being honest with herself, she wasn’t so sure about going out like this either. It had been two days since Constantine had invaded their lives, and in spite of his continued promises, Damian  _ still _ hadn’t taken her to the crime scene. So… Raven got  _ a bit creative _ . Or, to call it what it  _ really _ was, she snuck out behind his back. While Damian was in his office, she had crept out of the apartment, met Zachary in the warehouse district, and prayed she could beg for Damian’s forgiveness when she got back. At the very least, she would swing by the corner store on her way back and pretend that she needed something.

She understood  _ what _ Damian was trying to do - he was trying to keep her safe and protected from Blood and Trigon. But, she almost felt like she was suffocating, and she felt like she was somehow kept in the dark. Except for walking Titus around the block, Damian hadn’t let her leave the apartment since Constantine arrived, even though she had a new layer of protection. Constantine had managed to imbue her necklace with a spell that he said would keep Blood off her trail for at least a little longer. So, if the rune on her chest failed, she at least had a back-up plan. 

But it didn’t matter to Damian. He still seemed skittish, even though  _ he _ had disappeared for a few hours last night. Raven had woken up to find his side of the bed empty, Titus sprawled out under the covers, pawing at her. When he returned, Damian had played it off, like he had an errand he needed to run at three in the morning.  _ Fine _ . If he was going to sneak off and do…  _ whatever _ it was that he needed to do, then she would simply do the same. And, right now, she needed more information on  _ exactly _ what Blood was trying to do. 

Raven felt her heart skip a beat as she looked at the yellow crime scene tape, the room beyond it completely consuming every speck of light that tried to enter the space. She swallowed and looked over at Zachary, suddenly uncertain. Maybe he was right to be nervous. The whole situation felt…  _ shady _ . Uncomfortably shady. It was late on a Saturday night, and while Zachary had  _ sworn _ that they had gotten approval from Dick and the GCPD, something tickled in the back of her mind that told her that this was more than just that. There were other forces at work here.

She shifted as Zachary gritted his teeth, leading her deeper into the room. Her phone vibrated in the back pocket of her jeans, but she ignored it. She knew it had to be Damian, and if he knew where she had run off to, then he really  _ would _ never forgive her. 

“Why can’t a cult meet literally anywhere else? Like… you know, beneath a posh neighborhood? Or an upper floor of a nice pastry shop?” Zachary sighed and his shoulders dropped as he ducked under the crime scene tape. “Why does it have to be a dirty, abandoned warehouse?”

“No one bothers to look that hard into a warehouse.” Raven turned on the flashlight on her phone, ignoring the second text from Damian, and stepped into the dark space. “Lights?”

Zachary flicked the switch next to the door and shook his head. “Hang on. I’ll get us up and running.” He murmured a spell and the room lit up with a soft, magical glow. 

“ _ Oh _ .” Raven swallowed as she looked around the space, her eyes fluttering. This was…  _ bad. _ This was very,  _ very _ bad. Every square inch of the room was  _ covered _ in the marks of Scath. Painted. Carved. Etched. Drawn. They were everywhere, on each of the walls, under her feet, even shoved into small nooks in the ceiling. Her stomach turned suddenly, ice-cold fear flooding her veins. Whatever Blood was doing, he thought it was worth  _ over _ doing, and Raven knew that her protection and anonymity here on earth was very much in jeopardy. 

“Recognize any of this?” Zachary looked from her face to the walls and back again, his voice cautious in the quiet that surrounded them. 

“Y-yeah, actually.” Raven chewed on her lower lip and she reached out, her hands running down a rune that had been smeared so bad that it didn't hold any more magic. “I… I know exactly what these are. These are the runes of my father. The marks of Scath.” She wet her lips, her mouth suddenly dry. “I… I had seen them on TV, but it feels so much more different. There’s magic here.” She swallowed, her chest tight. “There’s something darker too. It feels…”

“Yeah.” Zachary took a deep breath and let it out slowly, running his hands through his hair as he looked around. “I can feel it too. Something ancient and powerful.”

Raven moved over the floor, feeling like something was pulling at her leg, wrapping around her ankle and calf. It felt like she was walking through thick, old cobwebs, and they were trying to tangle her steps to keep her here forever. She stopped and stared down at the sigil on the floor, swallowing a fresh surge of panic that threatened to strangle her. Something  _ horrible _ had happened here, something that was now consuming the whole room and everything in it. The stench of magic and must and…  _ blood _ . It smelled like blood. 

A shiver ran down her spine and she took a step back, moving out of the sigil on the floor as her her hand moved for her phone. Maybe Damian was right to keep her sheltered until she was more prepared. Maybe she wasn’t ready to face all of this just yet. Blood clearly didn’t care who he hurt in his search for her, and Raven knew she wasn’t strong enough to face him alone. Not if he had- 

“ _ Hands up! _ ”

Raven panicked and whipped around to see Robin and Nightwing standing behind her.  _ Fuck. _ This was the last thing she needed - a couple of vigilantes she had to explain herself to. It was hard enough to explain her situation to those closest to her, how in the world was she going to explain this to  _ them? _ Her eyes searched their masked faces, and she watched as Robin cursed, taking a step towards her.

Robin’s hands clenched at his sides and he snarled. “ _ This is where you went, Raven? _ ” 

What? What… did that mean? Raven blinked and jerked back, suddenly surprised at being called out by name. She pressed a hand against her chest, her heart stuttering under her ribs. “What?”

“I can’t believe you… for  _ fuck’s sake _ .” Robin threw his hands in the air. “You scared the hell out of me. You weren’t answering your phone and I thought something  _ terrible _ had happened to you. I thought you were-”

“ _ Robin… _ ” Nightwing glared at him, cutting him off. “What… what are you doing,  _ Robin? _ ”

“ _ Yeah, Robin. _ ” Zachary glared, somehow unfazed by both Robin and Nightwing’s presence. “What  _ are _ you doing? Or, what are you  _ saying? _ ” 

Raven’s eyes fluttered and she tilted her head to the side as the tension in her shoulders slowly eased. Zachary wasn’t afraid. Nightwing didn’t feel dangerous, and Robin seemed… he seemed  _ familiar _ . Like she had met him before. Her heart did something strange in her chest, sputtering as she stared into Robin’s masked face. “Do I… know you?”

Robin didn’t seem to hear her question, consumed by his own rage. “You could have set off a spell or trap or  _ something. _ Blood could know you’re here now. Your  _ father _ could know you’re here now. I  _ told _ you to wait until we were ready, and then I would take you here. But  _ no _ .” He threw up his hands and stepped towards her, and Raven could feel disappointment and anger roll off of him. “ _ No _ . You had to just wander off into the warehouse district with just  _ Zatara _ to protect you. You didn’t even leave a goddamned note.” 

Robin’s voice washed over her and in the muted light of the room, Raven finally took in the line of his jaw, the scar near his chin, the soft, full lips. For a moment, it felt like she was free-falling, like she had been thrown off a cliff and was waiting until her entire body disintegrated on impact. Her heart tumbled into her stomach, and suddenly everything flashed before her eyes, snapping into place like missing puzzle pieces. Sneaking out of the house late at night, the mysterious text messages and phone calls, the dodgy way he never answered a question about where he was… it all made perfect, infuriating sense now. 

She wasn’t the  _ other woman _ . 

Damian was  _ fucking Robin. _

“ _ Damian? _ ”

Nightwing’s head fell into his hands and Zachary groaned behind her.  _ They knew? _ They  _ all _ knew?

“ _ Fuck. _ ”

Before Raven could get out another word, she felt the sigil beneath her feet heat up and light the room with a dark-red, hellish glow.  _ Damnit _ . This was the  _ last _ thing she needed. Not  _ only _ was Damian  _ Robin _ , but he was also  _ right _ about her tripping a spell. Frustration twisted through her muscles and she stumbled out of the glowing sigil, watching as shadows filled the room. Something was trying to creep its way out of the portal, claws outstretched towards her in warning. 

“ _ The gem will be awoken. The world will be destroyed. Darkness will be complete _ .”

Robin sunk down into a battle position and Raven flanked his side, glaring at him from the corner of her eye. She wanted to be furious with him, to hold onto that anger and unleash it in his direction, but… first things first. “We’re going to have a long,  _ serious _ conversation about all of this when we get back.”

He glanced at her, his lips pulling back into a snarl. “ _ Tch _ . We  _ certainly _ are.” 

“ _ Fine _ .” Zachary groaned, his head falling into his hands. “I’ll tell Jon to stay away another day.”

Raven jerked and looked over at Damian. “ _ Jon _ knows? Jon knows, but  _ I _ don’t?”

“Jon is… in on it.”

Raven whipped and looked over at Nightwing. “And I suppose you’re in on it too? Alfred? Titus?”

Nightwing sighed, obviously defeated. “Dick, actually.” He looked over Raven’s head at Robin. “I told you not to keep it a secret.”

“We  _ all _ told you not to keep it a secret.” Zachary took another step back, his eyes trained on the second, clawed hand that had appeared from the glowing sigil. “Look, can we shelve this lover’s spat until we get rid of… what _ ever _ this thing is?” He cursed, watching as a rotting, horned head lifted into the small room. It’s eyes were glowing with fire, burning brightly in the darkness. “Actually, Raven, what  _ is _ this thing?”

“A guardian.” Raven bit back a curse as the smell of charred, rotten flesh swelled towards her. She coughed and pressed the back of her hand to her mouth, feeling her body ready for a fight. “We  _ have _ to kill it, or it’s going to report back to my father that I’m here.”

“ _ Great _ .”

Raven felt her demon twist inside her, and she called on it to draw out her power. In the years she’d been away, she had worked hard on honing the power inside her demon. It was still a little unstable, but Raven wasn’t going to back down from this fight. If she needed to maintain her anonymity here on earth, then she would do whatever was necessary. She took a deep breath and tasted the beginnings of a spell play along her lips, readying an attack. Next to her she could feel Robin -  _ no _ ,  _ Damian _ \- sink into a battle position and unsheathe his sword. She had never fought  _ next _ to him before, and part of her wondered if they would work well together. 

Now was probably  _ not _ the time to question that. 

“Follow my lead.” 

Raven glanced over at Damian. Part of her wanted to fight him, but it was such a stupid thing to do. Holding onto her anger because he kept this secret from her wasn’t going to help, and she needed to let this go. Or, at least, bury it until they were alone.  _ Then _ she would let him have the full breadth of her anger. 

Damian pushed forward, swinging his sword, the blade connecting with the rotten skin on the creature. It howled in pain, and Raven drew a deep breath, pulling in her demon’s magic. She could feel her emotions whisper to her, tell her that she could let go and her demon would take care of it. Raven shoved that temptation to the back of her mind and pulled shadows into her fingertips wrapping them around the limbs of the guardian. 

Zachary and Dick had moved to the overside of the creature, and Zachary had smeared the sigil so that it couldn’t return to where it came from. Dick pushed forward, barely avoiding a wild sideswipe of the creature’s hand. Raven pinned its arms down with her magic, and Damian drew his sword back, slicing up the hollow, rotten chest. The smell of death and decay filled the room again and Raven stumbled back as it practically consumed all of her senses. Her stomach roiled, but she somehow kept herself from throwing up. 

“Raven!” Damian withdrew his sword, something black and viscous dripping from the blade and splattering onto the cement. “Raven, are you-”

“I’m fine! Duck!” Raven pulled back her powers and slammed the creature into the wall. She could feel something start to boil under his skin, it was like she had left herself over a hot flame for too long. It danced along her skin, lit up her veins, made her feel…  _ strange _ . Something was calling out to her, and it wasn’t her demon. Raven had gotten used to her demon, knew its calls and whispers, but this… this was something else entirely. Her magic tightened around the creature’s limbs again, and she threw it into an opposite wall. 

Zachary rolled out of the way to avoid an injury, calling out to her. “Sigil’s closed, Rae! Do your worst.”

She nodded, but that feeling just kept getting stronger, and the more she shied away from it, the more her magic flickered. The shadows wrapped around the wrist of the creature dissolved, and Raven watched as it surged forward, stumbling wildly towards Damian.  _ No. _ Not Damian. The need to protect him was so painful, that she almost didn’t realize what she was doing. Without questioning it, Raven called on that strange magic again, wrapping it around her soul and letting it flow through her. It felt like she was being tossed into a storm, wind whipping around her, light flowing into her, waves of magic drowning her. 

“ _ Raven. _ ”

It was Damian. He was there, and yet he wasn’t. It was like he was  _ part _ of her, sewn into her bones and woven into her soul. She looked into his face and felt like she was looking back at herself, and for a moment she forgot where he ended and she began. They were one and the same, and yet wholly different. Their magic… it was  _ mixing. _ Her breath caught in her lungs, and the spell exploded around them, tightening around the creature as Damian pushed his own fear to the side and raced towards the guardian. 

Raven could feel something sizzle just under Damian’s skin, mingling with his battle prowess and her magic. It burned her in such a way that she felt  _ strange.  _ Awoken.  _ Aroused _ , even. She felt unusual, but… it wasn’t an unwelcome feeling. Her demon practically  _ languished _ in the roar of emotions inside her, and Raven felt like her magic increased tenfold. Darkness consumed the room, followed immediately by a bright light that felt like it blinded her. Eyes fluttering, she looked over at Damian and felt their last attack burn through her skin in warning. This was more than a one-time thing… this was…  _ permanent. _ She pitched forward, drawing on the power from Damian and her own magic and cast the stinking, fetid creature far away from this plane of existence and nowhere near her father. 

For at least a little longer, she was safe.

More than that,  _ Damian _ was safe. 

The lights in the room dimmed and then turned black, and Raven sunk down onto her knees, gasping. She pitched forward, pressing her forehead against the cool cement in the room and tried to calm her stomach. 

She felt Damian crouch next to her and place a hand on her shoulder, and she felt the familiar warmth of his comfort flood her. But now… now it was different. He was still there in her bones, wrapped tightly around her soul. He’d become an inextricable part of her, and it frightened her more than the curse of her father and Blood. 

She heard Damian swallow, his breath harsh against her ear. “Let’s… let’s go home.”

She picked up her head, looking through the pitch darkness to where he stood. She wanted to scream, to yell at him, to say a million different things about the depth of her emotions and her disappointment. She wanted to tell him how scared she was. Didn’t he  _ feel it? _ Didn’t he feel how different this all was? Wasn’t he frightened?

But all she could get out was a weak, pathetic, “ _ Okay. _ ”


	9. Chapter Eight

The silence in the apartment was deafening. It felt like the space swallowed every unsaid word and whispered curse until it seemed like they were both drowning in their own emotions. Damian sat on the edge of the sofa, staring out the window and knowing that there was no turning back from this now. Everything was out in the open, and Raven knew the truth about him and what he  _ really _ did in the middle of the night. As much as he wanted to keep her sheltered, and hide his secrets from her, there was no taking it back now. Raven knew the truth, and he was going to have to face that. 

Raven's hand was warm against the side of his face, her touch soft as she healed a wound near his eye. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly, her eyes meeting his stare. 

"You felt it too."

The simplicity of her words practically burned him, and Damian let a small curse escape. 

She was talking about what happened at the warehouse - that undeniable connection that seemed to swallow both of them whole. Of course he did. He felt her touch a part of him that was like a raw nerve. His body practically vibrated and he felt her draw power from him in a way he never expected. He had spent so many years mourning the loss of their previous bond, that he never considered there might be a way to create a new bond between them. And that was… that's what happened tonight. There was no other way to describe what this was. 

He closed his eyes, uncertain of what he should say next. 

"I'm still mad."

Damian opened his eyes and stared at her, watching dark shadows slide over her pale skin. He felt something indignant rise up into his chest, and forced it back into submission. This wasn’t about him, at least not entirely. Raven had every right to be mad at him, he’d kept secrets from her and he shouldn’t have. But, he had every right to be upset with her too, and he wasn't going to back down either. 

He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, his gaze narrowing at her. " _ You _ snuck out and didn't tell me where you were going. I walked out of my office and you were just…  _ gone _ . What in the world was I supposed to think? I thought the worst had happened to you, Raven." He swallowed the bubble of rage building in his throat, his hands tightening into fists at his sides. "I thought you were kidnapped or killed. I thought Blood had finally gotten to you, and I felt…"

_ Helpless. _ He felt weak and helpless, and he didn’t want to feel like that. Not with Raven. 

Her head tilted to the side and she watched him for a long moment, looking at least a  _ little _ remorseful. Shadows darkened her eyes again and she glanced away. "You were keeping me locked up here like I was a prisoner in your home, Damian. I wasn't useful to you, and I wasn't learning anything about what was happening to me. I can handle my own demons, and I think you forget that sometimes.”

He opened his mouth to say something, but Raven silenced him with a glare.

“I  _ know _ you were trying to keep me safe and protect me, but all it did was make me angry and push me away.” She shifted. “I  _ wanted _ you to be angry and to hate me, because then at least I would have had a reason to run."

_ Ow. _ Her words speared his heart and Damian glanced away, taking another slow breath. It felt like she had crushed his heart between her small hands, and he didn't know her words could hurt  _ like that _ . Like they were weapons. Guilt filled him, and Damian let his head fall into his hands. "I never meant to hurt you, Raven."

"Well, you did. You didn’t think I was going to be strong enough to keep myself safe, and you didn’t trust me. Not just with your secret, because I can forgive you for not telling me. I know that’s a huge burden to carry, and I know  _ why _ you kept it from me. It’s just…" She crossed her arms over her chest and looked away, chewing on her lower lip as she tried to sort through her own feelings. "I spent all this time thinking I was…  _ the other woman _ ."

Damian jerked back, blood leaving his face. She could  _ not _ be serious. " _ What? _ ”

A blush flooded her face and she glanced back at him. "You were sneaking out in the middle of the night, getting into fights, coming back and smelling like alcohol, receiving cryptic text messages, and not directly answering any of my questions… what was I  _ supposed _ to think?" She pulled in on herself. “Our relationship is already so delicate, and we’ve been apart for so long… I thought maybe you wanted to have your cake and eat it too.”

Is that  _ really _ what she thought of him? Anger tightened in his chest and he watched her for a long moment, trying to remind himself that he  _ had _ made mistakes. But, she needed to trust him too, at least when it came to something like  _ that _ . " _ Raven. _ " Damian dropped his voice to a low, dangerous growl. "I  _ love _ you. I have never _ stopped _ loving you. I spent every free moment I had looking for ways to get back to you, trying to find you again. I… I can’t imagine my life without you in it, and I don’t want to. There is no other woman, you're the only one I have ever loved."

He watched her eyes widen, and something stirred inside his chest. It was as though all the emotions he had tried to hard to keep contained suddenly wanted to burst free. He wanted to wrap his arms around her and shelter her from the world and everything in it. Damian grabbed her hand, threading his fingers through her own. 

She stayed quiet, thinking to herself. For awhile it seemed like the rest of the universe faded away, and they lived in this moment. Finally, Raven took a deep breath and glanced at him from the corner of her eye. "So…  _ Robin. _ "

He winced and shifted, hearing the weight of suspicion in her voice.

Raven picked at a loose thread on her shirt. "It makes so much sense now -  _ everything. _ The late nights, the wounds, even the alcohol and bad perfume.”

“The cult we broke up. It was incense and sacramental wine.” He rubbed his thumb along his jaw and sighed. 

Her eyes lifted to his again, face unreadable. "And Jon?”

"Ah…” Damian shifted. “Half-Kryptonian."

"Oh god. He’s meta?" She shook her head, running her hands down her face as Damian nodded. Raven fell back against the sofa cushions and stared at the ceiling, obviously trying to run through every thought all at once. He could see the realization settle in her, as if the wild storm of knowledge was starting to die down. "And Dick is Nightwing? And… the rest of your family? Are they… ”

Damian nodded, avoiding meeting her stare.

"Vigilantes.” She barked out a humorless laugh. “Your entire family is vigilantes. Even Tim?”

Damian rolled his eyes and huffed. “Drake’s skills are vastly overrated.”

Raven’s lips twitched as if she was fighting off a genuine laugh. She ran a shaky hand through her hair, thinking. “Well, this  _ certainly _ explains you in school then. How you could always beat mine and everyone else’s ass, in spite of the fact that you were the rich son of a Wayne." She paused. “Actually, this explains a lot of conversations we had. It explains  _ everything _ really.” There was another pause. “Who else knows?”

“A few people. Constantine. The Zatanas. Jon’s parents.” Damian finally met her stare and he sighed, feeling the weight in his chest grow too heavy to bear. He shook his head in defeat. "I was going to tell you, Raven. I don’t want you to think that I was going to try and keep this secret from you forever. I just…” He shifted. “I wanted to wait until the time was right and all of this made sense. It sounds stupid and misogynistic, but I was trying to protect you from… from everything that comes with knowing the truth about me and my family. You could be hurt, or  _ worse _ , just by knowing this secret."

"So you thought you'd keep me in the dark?” Her voice was sharp, like a slap across his face. “You thought that I couldn’t handle myself against all the darkness in your life, in spite of the fact that you  _ know _ you can handle all the darkness in mine. You’re ready to charge head-first into my problems and try to help me, and yet you think  _ I _ can’t help  _ you? _ ”

Damian winced. When she put it like that, it really  _ was _ like he was coddling her.

“Damian, I'm strong enough to not be babied by you. You should let me decide whether or not I can handle something. Keeping a secret like this because you’re not ready to tell me is infinitely different than keeping a secret from me because you’ve got some bullshit idea that you’re trying to protect me." She took another deep breath and let it out slowly, obviously trying to calm herself down. "I… I understand why you kept it from me, it's a secret that you weren't ready to tell me, but it doesn't stop me from feeling hurt."

He met her stare. "That was never my intention." 

"I know." Raven sighed and leaned forward, her fingertips running along another gash near his jaw “I know.” 

Raven sighed, and they both let the silence settle over them as she finished healing his wounds. Silence was probably best right now. Damian looked into her face, feeling that weird hum of magic ripple through him again. It sparked just under his skin, almost whispering at him, and he wanted to reach out to touch it, but… he knew better. This magic was new, and it was unknown. If they weren’t careful, either of them could start something, and they might not be able to contain it. He shouldn’t give into that temptation to explore it, it was dangerous. 

"I can feel you thinking about it." Raven's voice was low and gravelly, and her hand fell into her lap. She fidgeted with the hem of her shirt again, as if she couldn’t look at him. "I can feel you thinking about what happened at the warehouse. About that…  _ magic _ ."

Damian shifted. "What  _ was _ it?"

"I… I don't know." Raven trembled for a moment, as if she was trying to keep herself from giving into the temptation to explore it. "I've never felt anything like it before. It was…  _ different _ . Wild and untamed, and it was  _ old _ . Powerful.” She finally looked up into his face, breathing softly. “It was far stronger than the magic you and I shared once."

_ That _ was curious. "Stronger?"

Raven nodded, chewing on her lower lip. "Yes. Much stronger."

"I could… feel you." He pressed his hand against his chest, his mind racing as he recounted the fight in his head. He remembered the pull of her being so strong that he couldn’t turn away. She was wrapped through him, like a vine twisted so tight that he’d never work himself free. Damian licked his lips and looked out the window again. " _ Here _ .” His hand tightened into a fist on his chest. “ You were  _ here _ , and I could feel you. It was like you were part of me."

"You  _ were _ part of me. I looked through your eyes to see myself." Raven leaned forward and looked into his eyes, as if she was going to find her answers there. "What… what  _ was _ that?” 

"I don't know." He didn’t. Nothing made sense anymore, and thinking about it was exhausting. Damian wanted to lay down with her and never wake up again. “I don’t know what any of this was or what it means.” 

She chewed on her lower lip, the silence settling before she spoke again, her voice barely above a whisper. "It scared me."

To hear her say it so blatantly made him want to wrap his arms around her and protect her. He knew she was fully capable of keeping herself safe, but he wanted her to know that she wasn't alone in this. He was going to be by her side, no matter what. Damian reached out and tangled his hand with her own, his fingers sliding along her palm. He heard her soft gasp fill the silence between them, and he pulled her close against his chest, letting them both tumble along the length of the sofa. Their legs tangled together, the touch between them comforting and familiar.

He pressed his hand to the dip of her waist and drew her closer to him, feeling her heartbeat against his own chest. The silence of the room weighed down on them both, reminding him of the severity of all of this. It was like they were back at the Academy again, trying to understand the seal on his arm. Finally, he spoke, filling the small space between them. "I promise to fix this."

There was another pause, and Damian thought she might have fallen asleep, but Raven tucked her head underneath his chin and sighed. "Is… is it something that  _ needs _ to be fixed?”

Damian stilled under the weight of her question. "What do you mean?"

"Do we  _ need _ to  _ fix _ this? It seems…  _ pointless.  _ We've spent so much time trying to  _ fix _ whatever this is between us - the seal on your arm, the connection to me, your latent magic. I made terrible decisions trying to  _ fix _ this, and I nearly got you and our friends killed in the process. Maybe it doesn't need to be fixed." Her voice was quiet, a soft whisper in the darkness between them. “Maybe this is just what it’s supposed to be - you and me, and whatever this strange and foreign magic is.” 

Damian let her words settle over him, uncertain with the way it made him feel, like the world had stopped spinning and he was trying to find a way to keep his feet under him. She was right in a way, and he wasn’t sure if he was able to face that truth. They  _ had _ spent so much time railing against whatever this was between them. When they were younger and skittish about their future, it made sense to keep distance between them. But now… now things  _ were _ different. He understood himself better, and he knew what he  _ really _ wanted in life. Now, he wasn’t sure if he wanted that distance between them anymore. 

Raven’s hand slipped under the hem of his shirt, her fingers trailing up the planes of his abdomen to his chest. He stilled under her as he felt her hand pause over a gnarled scar, before resting over his heart. She picked up her head and looked into his eyes, searching. 

“How… long have you been doing this?”

“Long.”  _ Too long _ .

Raven sat up and pulled his shirt off his body, letting it fall to the floor next to them. Damian felt heat stain his cheeks, but the shadows around him kept her from seeing his embarrassment. He watched as her fingertips skated over his chest, tracing the worst of his scars with a feather’s touch. 

"This one?"

Shame filled him, but he didn't turn away from her. "My grandfather."

If she was upset at his admission, she didn't show it. Instead, she kept her face oddly calm. Raven looked into his face for a long moment before she leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to the scar. Logically, Damian knew it was just scar tissue, devoid of nerve endings and feeling, and yet he  _ burned _ . She  _ made _ him burn, like his skin was going to burst into flame at any moment. He felt the tip of her tongue slide along him, as if she was trying to soothe a wound that had long since healed. 

He shivered and felt her mouth move across his chest to another scar, kissing it softly. Damian swallowed and felt like his heart was about to break through his ribs. Raven's mouth was slow and exploratory, her lips dragging over his skin as though she wanted to kiss and taste every part of him. 

His body was waking up like the first ray of dawn after a long, hard battle. This was an arousal that went deeper than anything he had experienced before, and it wasn't long before he was nearly trembling under her touch. He hadn't ever been touched like this before, like he was something to be cherished and protected - like he was more than just the killing machine his grandfather had made him. And, for one glorious moment, he dreamt he could be more than just what he was, and he dreamt he could have Raven forever. 

Damian groaned as she pulled his trousers and underwear off him, leaving him stark naked in front of herself. Raven’s gaze swept over him the thin light of the room, worshiping him with her eyes alone. A desperate, low groan escaped groaned as Raven's soft touch circled his cock, and watched him from beneath her lashes, her eyes practically  _ glowing _ . He'd never seen anything more beautiful in his life. Damian swallowed the words dancing on his tongue, and he buried a hand in her hair. 

" _ My love. _ " His words were wispy, carried away by her rush of desperate breath, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care. All he wanted right now was  _ her _ , and nothing else. He pulled her lips against his own, feeling Raven's hand begin a slow, steady movement along his cock.  _ Gods _ . This felt so damned  _ good _ . His groan was muffled by another kiss, and other hand continued to slide down his chest still touching him, trying to learn more about the scars that littered his body. 

She circled one near his hip, breaking their kiss. “This?”

“Bane.” He pushed his hips up into her hand, hating the breathy sound of his own voice. How did she manage to do this every time? How did she manage to disarm him and leave him a weak, trembling mess? His head fell back against the pillows as she pressed a kiss to his hip, her tongue fluttering over the scar. Her hand moved to a scar between his legs, where a sword had gotten far too close to an artery, and he’d barely survived. There had been so much blood and pain.

Raven pulled back, her eyes searching his face without saying a word. 

Damian felt shame color his cheeks again. “Grandfather.”

Her lips twitched, the only indication that now she really  _ was _ angry. Damian could feel something burn in his chest, and he knew it wasn’t his own emotions. He’d made peace with the person his grandfather was, and he’d made peace with the scars he’d endured because of it. Raven, however, was learning about this for the first time. Of  _ course _ her anger was justified, and Damian realized that he was so caught up in trying to keep Raven safe, he’d never once considered the idea that  _ she _ might want to protect  _ him _ . He… almost  _ liked _ that thought.

Her lips found the scar between his thighs, and Damian groaned, his fingers digging into the sofa cushions beneath him. He felt her tongue slide over the scar, trying to drown the pain in pleasure, before she kissed along his hip and-

Damian hissed out a slow breath, feeling the tip of Raven’s tongue run up the underside of his cock.  _ Fuck _ . Every muscle in his body tightened and he dug his fingers tighter into the sofa, hoping to keep himself pinned to earth. This had to be heaven. Or hell. He wasn’t quite sure yet. Her soft lips smoothed over the head of his aching, dripping cock, until she finally opened her mouth and drew him inside. 

Stars exploded behind his eyes and he let go of a desperate, broken curse. Raven took that as a sign of encouragement, and she moved slowly over him, taking as much of his length into her mouth as she could, her hand wrapping around what she couldn’t. Damian’s head tipped back against his shoulders and he tried  _ not _ to push into her mouth, but he couldn’t help himself. Each pass of her tongue made him feel like he’d lost his humanity and was becoming something wild. 

Raven sucked  _ hard _ , the tip of her tongue flicking against his slit and nearly shattering whatever was left of his control. He was going to lose himself inside her if they were careless. Damian felt his abdomen tighten painfully as another curse escaped, and he tried to quell his orgasm. He wasn’t going to last long if she kept this up. His fingers curled under her chin, and he pulled back from her, desperate to catch his breath. 

Raven’s cheeks were flushed and dark, eyes wide as she stared at him. “I-”

“ _ Shh. _ ”

Damian hushed her as he pulled off her clothes, his movements slow and methodical. He needed to have a few minutes to try and get his senses back, or he was going to shatter under her far too easily. He wanted to make this last, to show her how desperately he loved her. Damian ran his hand up her side, quietly admiring along the smooth skin of her body. 

“I…” Raven met his stare, her eyes dark. “I don’t like your scars.”

His hand stopped and he blinked, confused. Were they  _ that _ ugly? 

Raven flushed again as she crawled over him, the heat of her body engulfing his own. She pressed a hand to the scar on his chest, a sadness creeping into her face. “They’re reminders of how you’ve been hurt, not only by your enemies, but by people you’ve trusted. I don’t… I don’t want to be another scar. I don’t want to hurt you.”

_ Oh. _ Damian didn’t know what to say to that. Her words stung, but they felt strangely good, and he found his whole body trying to decipher every emotion that he felt, but somehow he couldn’t. He couldn’t make sense of what he felt, and that made him even more scared. He buried his hand under a pillow to hide its trembling, and looked back into her face as she settled her knees on either sides of his hips. “You’ll never be a scar, Raven. Not ever.” 

Her breath caught in her throat, and Raven sunk slowly down over his cock.  _ Fuck _ . _ Fuck. Fuckfuckfuckfuck _ . Damian didn’t know anything could feel so  _ damn good _ . His eyes closed and he let his hands rest against her hips, his fingers digging deep enough to leave marks. SHe settled onto his lap before she started to ride him. Her movements were slow, as if she was adjusting to him again, and she leaned forward, pressing her forehead against his own. 

“ _ I love you _ .”

Damian’s heart stuttered as she said it, and he tried to hide his emotions, but he knew that they were probably plastered across his face. He pulled her hips down, thrusting himself deep into her, and it was like lightning was sparking over his skin. She shivered and pitched forward, resting her hands against his shoulders, and she drove herself deeper. Damian could feel something stir in the pit of his stomach. It felt…  _ strange _ , like the magic they had felt before. Like this was more than  _ just _ sex. Like this was a coming together in a way that neither of them really understood, and he could feel shards of her soul mingle with his own. 

She pressed her forehead against his, her breath ragged. “You feel it too.”

He nodded and closed his eyes, searching for the strange feeling in his chest as Raven moved slowly over him. Damian knew what they were doing was dangerous, but he didn’t want to stop. It felt…  _ right _ . All of this felt right, and he had never been more sure about anything in his life. Whatever was going to happen… he wanted her by his side. 

He swallowed another shaky breath and pushed his hips up into her own, savoring that delicious friction between them. Raven let go of a soft cry, and she pulled back a few scant inches to sink down on him again. Over and over, until she was dripping with sweat and gasping, her whole body trembling with anticipation. Damian’s hand slipped between their bodies, and his thumb toyed with her clit as Raven tipped her head back and groaned, her hand resting over his heart. 

“ _ More _ .” 

Lifting his eyes to her face, he watched the unabashed pleasure consume her. He could feel fire burning in his heart, that same unmistakable burn of magic he had felt in the warehouse. It was like he was here and yet he wasn’t - he was  _ part _ of her somehow. More than just himself, and more than just her. Together they were something greater and he wanted to savor it. 

Damian leaned up and nipped at her jaw. “Take what you need,  _ my love. _ ” 

Raven’s hands buried in his hair and she slammed down on his cock, her movements now frantic and disorganized. Her mouth found his and Damian stole kiss after kiss after kiss, until she was sobbing between them, tears running down her cheeks as another wave of pleasure wracked her body. Damian could feel it inside himself - that burning of emotions and magic into a barely controllable amalgamation of  _ everything _ . Damian’s nails dug deep and he slid them down her back, leaving faint red lines as they both ran for that final edge of pleasure. 

Raven broke their kiss, her head falling back against her shoulders as she screamed. Damian allowed himself to enjoy the view of her orgasm before he tumbled after her. It was like everything disintegrated around him as light filled his head, and he could feel something squeezing his heart, twisting into his whole being until he couldn’t tell where he ended and Raven began. He shivered as the world shone in a million different colors, shattering around him. He thrust up into her until his whole body shook, and he fell back onto the sofa, gasping. 

Raven fell onto his chest gasping and clawing at him. 

When it seemed that he was back on this earth, Damian let his eyes open and he looked into Raven’s face. He could see her own surprise in her eyes, the realization that whatever had happened was so much more than just sex. He swallowed and ran a hand through his hair. What…  _ was _ that?

Raven took a soft breath, and he felt her pull deeper into him, wrapping her arms around his chest. “Don’t… don’t let go.”

Damian closed his eyes, and drew the scent of her into his lungs. “I won’t, my love.” 

He didn’t think he could _ ever _ let go - not now. Not ever. 

-

_ God his mouth was a mortal sin _ . 

Raven’s head tipped back against the shower tile and she groaned as Damian’s tongue flicked over her clit, his fingers curling against a spot that had her seeing stars. Her knees had long since given out, and she was held up only by her back against the marble tile against her skin. Her fingers threaded through his wet hair and she gasped for breath, trying to keep her wits around her. The steam of the shower was drenching her, but she wasn’t entirely certain that was  _ just _ water.

She was shaking as her second orgasm built just under her navel, sparking and snapping in a warning of something that would leave her half-dead if she wasn’t careful. They’d been at this all morning, after Damian had chosen to call into work and spend the day with her. At first Raven had thought it was so he could bring her up to speed on her investigation, or at least help her reconcile the revelations from the night before, but she quickly learned how naive  _ that _ idea was. 

Her teeth sunk into her lower lip and felt her body start to shake as the world narrowed to a very sharp point, spearing her. “ _ Damian… _ ”

He smirked as if pleased with himself, and his tongue moved faster over her, until she was breathless and shaking. Raven finally tipped over the edge, screaming so loud she wondered if someone was going to be suspicious. But then again… she wasn’t sure if she even  _ cared _ . Not when she was drowning in this pleasure. A fresh flush worked its way up her neck as he lapped up every drop of her, before finally raising himself to his feet. Without another word, he lifted her and pinned her back against the wall, thrusting himself to the hilt.  _ Fuck _ . Raven’s head knocked back against the marble, and she arched against him, wrapping her arms around his neck. 

It was too much. The feeling of his body in hers, his mouth hot against her neck, the murmured curses mingling with endearments. She felt like she was going to black out from sensation alone, and Raven gasped as Damian spread her wide and moved inside her with force and determination. 

Raven shook her head and let go of another cry, tears spilling over her cheeks. “I… I can’t again. You’re going to break me.”

“You are  _ not _ breakable.” He smirked against her neck, his tongue feathering over her pulse as he tilted his hips, moving inside her at a new angle. “ _ My love. You can and you will _ .” 

Raven’s world turned into a bright white blur of pleasure as he fucked her so hard she lost all sense of time and space. Her body was floating somewhere else, drifting listlessly on a wild sea of pleasure. Another powerful orgasm wracked her body, colors and lights exploding as Damian fucked her right through her orgasm and sent her careening into another one. She was breaking under him, shattering into a million pieces that she wasn’t sure if she knew how to put back together. 

Finally he slowed, lapping at a mark he’d left on her shoulder earlier this morning. “Mm.” 

Raven sagged against the tile wall, too tired to even glare at him. She stayed silent for a long while, swallowing as much air as she could. “When you said you were calling into work, I didn’t think that  _ this _ was going to be your plan for the day.”

He smirked against her skin, kissing over her shoulders. “And you don’t like it?”

“I never said that.” She felt like she was breathless, water washing over her skin as he gently put her back on the floor. “I just… I thought maybe there was business we should talk about.”

He lifted an eyebrow. “You’ve been gone for well over two years, and you want to talk  _ business? _ ”

Color flooded her face again. “Well… last night-”

He captured her mouth in another soft kiss. “We  _ will _ talk about last night.” His fingers slid over the swell of her hip, squeezing gently. “But first, my love. I’m going to need you to turn around and put your hands on that ledge over there.”

“ _ D-Damian… _ ”

He lifted an eyebrow, waiting. 

Raven felt her excitement burn inside her. She should be exhausted by now, completely burnt out, but… she  _ wasn’t _ . Slowly, she turned and placed her hands on the stone bench in the corner, feeling exposed. It was as if she was unguarded, left open for his perusal and his use, and… she kind of liked it. She liked the idea of being used for his pleasure and her own, and her whole body trembled as Damian’s fingers traced the curve of her spine before he grabbed a handful of her ass. 

She flushed and closed her eyes, hoping he didn’t see the embarrassment at how  _ good _ this felt. Her knees shook and she closed her eyes as his fingers traced the length of her, dipping inside, teasing her. Warm water washed down the curve of her back before flowing over her the rawest parts of her, both stinging and soothing. 

How long  _ had _ they been at this? And should… should she be concerned? Inside the hollows of her chest, Raven could feel that now-familiar burning - a sharp reminder that they were both playing with fire they didn’t quite understand. They didn’t know what this magic was, only that it was bringing them together. And, every time it brought them closer, they let it change them just a little. Each joining of their bodies was like a stitch, and soon they would be sewn together and they wouldn’t be able to separate ever again. 

But… maybe that was what was supposed to happen. Maybe, this time, they weren’t supposed to fix it.

Raven looked over her shoulder at Damian, knowing that he felt it too, but right now… right now it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered but this.

_ “My love…” _


	10. Chapter Nine

There was fire everywhere. 

It was all-consuming, drenching him in hellfire as flames licked at his skin, charring his flesh and soaking him in pain. Damian nearly doubled over as his hair singed and rancid smoke filled his lungs. He stared down at his hands, watching as the world around him was drenched in the light of fire. What  _ was _ this? Where  _ was _ he? He forced his head up and his eyes open, and tried to see through the flames. On the other side of this… room, he could see a large stone altar, carved with symbols that seemed eerily familiar. A slight, woman’s body was draped across it, arms falling over the side, blood dripping from her fingers and pooling into more symbols carved along the floor. 

A scream slipped through the roar of the flames. 

Damian felt rage, hotter than the fire surrounding him, burn through his veins, and he pitched forward. He heard a sickly sweet, crooning voice, purring words and phrases to the woman stretched out over the altar. She cried out again, her back arching off the stone as the figure’s fingers dug deep into her chest, clawing at her flesh. 

“... my beautiful gem. This will burn off eventually, and you will be free of it. Free of this delicate, mortal world.” The figure leaned over the body on the altar, his words barely making sense. “I know it was a rash decision, but I will find you and forgive you for making it. And then we will rule together… a fresh start that I am magnanimous enough to give.” 

Damian pushed through the pain splintering over his body and surged through the wall of flames to the altar on the other side. His stomach dropped and his rage practically burned his soul from his body. Blood.  _ Blood _ was standing over Raven, his fingers tracing the seal on her chest.  _ No _ . Not his fingers. A  _ knife _ was in his hands, cutting into the tender skin between her breasts, trying to carve the seal from her skin. Raven was screaming, her head thrown back as she struggled against the restraints pinning her to the altar. 

The world stilled beneath his feet, his head swimming with the images of the only person he ever loved being  _ tortured _ right before his eyes. It felt like his body reacted all on its own, before his brain had a chance to catch up, and Damian surged forward through the flames, trying to get to her. “ _ Raven! _ ”

He was panicked, in a blind rage, desperately trying to save her. Above all else, he needed to  _ save her _ . Damian surged forward and slammed his fist into Blood’s face with a sickening crunch, forcing him backward. For a moment, he wanted nothing more than to beat him to a bloody pulp, to let the hate consume him until he wasn’t Damian anymore - but something else entirely. He growled and scrambled to hold onto the last dredges of himself. Raven needed him, and that was the only thing that kept him pinned to sanity. 

Damian turned to find her staring up at him, eyes wide with shock and surprise. She was twitching against the altar, pain filling her eyes as she searched his face. He tamped down his anger again, and leaned over her, running his hands over her face. “I’m here. I’m here, Raven.”

“D-Damian…?” Her words were weak, barely dancing on her lips as she stared up at him. 

Damian’s hands moved to the restraints, trying to release her. He could feel tears gathering in the edges of his eyes, and he whispered to try and keep his wits together. “You’re safe, my love. I have you.”

“No.” Raven coughed and looked back up into his face. “No, Damian. You…” She slammed her eyes closed and bit back a groan, more blood pooling between her breasts with each ragged breath. “...you need to wake up.  _ Wake up _ .”

What?

“ _ Wake up, Damian. Wake up! _ ”

Damian’s eyes snapped open and he sat up in bed, gasping for breath. Every muscle in his body was contracting, trying to help him figure out what was real and what was a dream.  _ Had _ that been a dream? Or just some kind of sick prophecy? His heart was pounding in his chest, and his stomach threatened to empty at the images he had seen. He could still smell the scent of her skin burning, and hear the drip of her blood on the ground. Squeezing his eyes shut, he tried to breathe in, trying to bring his heart rate back down. It  _ was _ a dream. It had to be a dream. The same dream that plagued Raven over and over again.

Guilt weighed heavy on his heart, and Damian looked next to him to see Raven laying there, her hands clutching the edge of the blanket as she stared at the ceiling. Tears spilled out over the corners of her eyes, sliding along her cheeks. 

His heart practically shattered right in front of her, and Damian leaned over her, cupping her face with his hand. “Raven…”

A soft sob escaped and she turned to face him, him, curling into his chest. He pulled her tight against him, rocking her gently as he murmured into her hair. He had never been the kind of person who comforted others, he just wasn’t good at it and never bothered to get better. But knowing Raven was in pain made him want to hold her until everything was all right again. He knew that he never wanted her to cry ever again. 

"Those…” He swallowed another breath, trying to still his heart again. “Those are the dreams you've been having." It wasn't a question, just a statement. 

The echoes of the images flashed through his mind, and Damian winced. He didn't know how she suffered through them nearly every night. Blood was there, torturing her, and yet she woke up every morning with that half-smile on her face and love in her arms.  _ Fuck _ . Blood was not going to survive Damian’s unadulterated rage when they finally met again. He pulled her close, shivering as she choked down another sob and tucked her head under his chin. 

She nodded. "I… never wanted you to see that."

“You shouldn’t be ashamed.” He felt her shivering start to ease. “What is happening to you isn’t your fault.” He let silence settle over them for a long moment, turning a question over in his head. "How  _ was _ I able to see that?”

She took a deep breath and let it out slowly, easing deeper into his touch. "I… I don’t know. My guess would be that whatever this magic is between us is letting you see parts of me I couldn’t share before. We’re connected, and it is…  _ stronger _ than what it was when we were at the Academy.” She leaned her forehead against his sternum and the tension started to seep out of her shoulders. “I’m worried though. If you… if you were able to be in my dream with me, to actually interact with it, then Blood might know that you’re… that I’m here on earth. With you.” She closed her eyes and bit back another sob. “I don’t want you to be in danger. I need to keep you safe, Damian.”

He bit back a dry laugh.  _ She _ needed to keep him safe?  _ Ha _ . He needed to protect her. After what he had seen in her dreams, he needed to make sure that no matter what happened, she was safe. His arms tightened around her waist and he pressed his lips to the crown of her head, letting silence settle over them both as his mind wandered. What options did they have? Every choice they made seemed to draw them closer and closer to Blood, spilling their secret to him. It wouldn’t be long before their only choice was to fight, and Damian knew they weren’t ready for that yet. 

In his arms, Raven shifted restlessly, time stretching out for what seemed like forever, before finally sitting up. She sighed and stared out into the early-morning skyline, her gaze tracing the buildings in the distance. “I can’t sleep.” She began digging through the sheets to find his shirt that they had discarded earlier. “I’m going to make some coffee.”

“Mm.” Damian watched her tug on his shirt before picking her underwear up from the floor and shimmying into it. His cock gave a half-hearted twitch at the sight of her full hips encased in soft cotton and lace, and he wanted to pull her back down and make love to her for what felt like the hundredth time that night, but he didn’t think he could. They were both fragile right now, and it didn’t matter what their bodies wanted if his head was a hundred miles away right now. 

She paused and looked over at him, her smile almost coquettish as shadows lovingly danced over her face. “ _ Later _ .” 

Right.  _ Empath _ . He smirked up at her as she leaned over and kissed his temple, pulling her back down into the covers. “Let me at least get you off before you run away to brood.” His fingers dipped into her underwear to find her deliciously wet. He knew she was sore, and both of their bodies had already been pushed to the limit, but  _ fuck _ . He wanted her all over again. “Let me distract you from your bad dreams.” 

“Is  _ that _ what you want to call it?” She leaned over him, sucking gently on his lower lip. “ _ Distracting _ me?”

He shoved his fears and worries into the back of his mind and pulled her on top of him, savoring the feel of every curve pressed against him. He’d let himself worry later, right now… he wanted to consume her. Damian kissed her hard, swallowing a soft moan as his fingers worked under her shirt, pulling it from her body and throwing it on the floor. The light from the skyline bathed her, and Damian reached up to trace the black mark of the rune on her chest. The images of her dream swallowed his thoughts for a moment, and he looked up into her face. 

Raven’s lips tilted to the side in an almost-frown. “Don’t ruin the mood. You started this, so you better finish it.” She pulled away just enough to strip off her underwear, placing her knees on either side of his head. There was a flash of insecurity in her eyes, but she covered it up with a tilted smile. “So,  _ distract _ me…  _ my love _ .”

Damian felt blood roar through his veins and his cock grow erect instantly. Hearing her say those words to him made him feel like he’d lost his damn mind. The rest of the world could burn outside this room, but he was going to have her no matter what. His hands tightened on her hips and he pulled her down to his mouth, his tongue tracing the length of her, splitting her open and circling her clit. His eyes closed and he let her taste consume him, the only sound in the room her soft pants bathing his skin. 

_ Heaven _ . 

She buried her hand in his hair and groaned, absently grinding against his mouth. Damian stole a glance up her body and had to bite back a moan of his own. She looked utterly lost in her pleasure - wanton and desperate, and he couldn’t image a more beautiful sight. Raven pitched forward, her hands tightening on the headboard as her legs trembled around his head. He worked his tongue harder against her, spelling his name against her clit until she was writhing, riding his face like there was nothing left to do in the world but burn with him. He ran the flat of his tongue up and down her clit, feeling her tremble and shake until-

Raven screamed, her legs finally giving out as she rode his mouth through her orgasm. He could feel her back arch and her voice grow hoarse.  _ Fuck _ . She tasted amazing. He didn’t think he could ever get tired of her taste. He lapped up every drop of her until she was sagging against him, swallowing breath like she had run a marathon. 

Damian could go again. And again. And again. And again. He smirked and circled his tongue around her clit, sucking it into his mouth. 

“ _ Ah. _ ” Raven twitched and she pulled back, falling onto the empty side of the bed. “You… you’re going to break me if you keep doing that.”

Well, the point  _ was _ to distract her. He licked his lips and reached for her again, letting his desire shine in his eyes. “I’m not finished distracting you.  _ Come here _ .” His voice was a compulsion, urging her to do what he wanted. And right now, what he wanted was to have her ride his face again. He licked his lips and leaned over her, his hand splaying out over the swell of her hips. “ _ I’m far from finished _ .”

Raven shivered and she leaned up on her knees moving towards him. He watched with bated breath as she settled her knees on either side of his head again, except this time… He swallowed a curse as the length of her body slid down his own, her own mouth tracing his cock from base to hip. Damian’s hips twitched, trusting slighting when she swirled her tongue over the head of his erection. Oh,  _ fuck. _ He should have known that he was playing with fire when he teased her like that. 

His lips wrapped around her clit, and he groaned as her mouth swallowed him whole. Fuck.  _ Fuck. Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck! _ He groaned into her, thrusting his hips into her mouth and she ground against his own. His whole body felt drenched in pleasure, receiving and giving at the same time, and he knew he’d lost his damn mind. He swirled his tongue against her, drawing every part of her he could into his mouth. And Raven returned in kind. She cupped his balls and teased him, pulling back and surging forward, playing him like he was a well-loved instrument. He wasn’t going to last at all. 

Raven groaned against him, and the subtle vibration made him see stars. Damian thrust his tongue inside her alternating between fucking her with his mouth and sucking on her swollen clit. She was losing herself to him, and he was losing himself to her. He couldn’t stop his hips from pushing up into her mouth, digging his heels into the mattress with each pass of her lips. He closed his eyes as he felt her muscles constrict around his tongue. She was  _ so close _ , which was good because Damian didn’t know how much longer he could hold on. He was caught in a storm that he had no idea how to weather.

His hands tightened on her hips and he pulled her down against him, utterly relentless with his mouth until he felt her scream, muffled by his cock in her mouth. He couldn’t stop himself from coming, his whole body flushing as he thrust up into her mouth, feeling her swallow him. The world burst into color and his body was no longer his own - it belonged to Raven, a tool for her pleasure. He let himself float in this glorious space of need and desire, letting stars explode around him, before coming crashing back to earth. He lapped her up again, feeling her body give a half-hearted twitch before she managed to crawl off of him, gasping. 

He watched her wipe at her mouth, a dark flush working down her neck. 

“I…”

He lifted an eyebrow, waiting. 

“I think I’m distracted now.”

Damian closed his eyes and snorted, but he would never admit out loud that he was too. 

-

Raven sipped at her coffee, hunched over Damian’s laptop as she flicked through his notes on their case. She couldn’t focus on anything on the screen. All she could think about was what she had done with him in his bed. Embarrassment colored her cheeks and she dipped her head, trying not to dwell too much on how  _ bold _ she had been. It was one thing to think about doing those things with him, but it seemed something else entirely to  _ actually _ do them.

But,  _ heavens _ . It had felt  _ so damn good _ . 

She shivered and crossed her legs tight against each other, hoping she could stave off her desires long enough to get actual work done. If she kept thinking about it, she was going to leave the kitchen, walk into his office, and ride him in his office chair. Heat curled up her neck and she pushed at her hair, trying not to think about how  _ wild _ Damian made her feel. Raven was supposed to be calm and level-headed, completely unaffected by anything physical in her life - at least that was how the monks had trained her. Except all that training went right out of her head the moment she was around Damian… and his heavily muscled chest, and his shadowed  _ come hither _ stare, and his teasing half-smirk, and- 

_ Ugh _ . How was she supposed to get  _ anything _ done while he was around? Raven’s head fell into her hands and she sighed. This was  _ not  _ how she expected their relationship to go. Actually, she really wasn’t sure how she expected their relationship to go now that she was back, but jumping on each other every moment they were alone was definitely  _ not it _ . And she  _ still _ wasn’t sure if she’d forgiven him for keeping his secret for so long. He was  _ Robin _ . Of  _ course _ he was Robin. It was the only explanation for…  _ everything _ . 

Raven sighed and her mind instantly went to the image of Damian in his Robin mask and  _ nothing else _ . Oh. Oh, that was  _ a sight. _ A sight she didn’t need to think about right now. She cursed and sat up, pushing at her hair as if she was going to wipe that image from her mind.  _ Honestly. _ She was being ridiculous. When did she revert into a horny teenager? She was  _ better _ than this. Better than her base emotions. Raven pursed her lips and tried to throw herself back into her work, ignoring the heat growing beneath her navel. 

Maybe if she asked  _ really nicely… _

Damian walked behind her in the kitchen, placing a soft, passing kiss on her neck. “The sun isn’t even up yet, love. And you’re already three files deep. Pace yourself. There’s a lot of information in there, and I don’t want you to get burned out.” 

_ Yeah, right. _ She read through three files of information and hadn’t retained a damn thing in any of them. Raven turned and watched as he got himself another cup of coffee from his fancy machine. He was shirtless, his sweatpants slung low on his hips so that she could trace that delightful path of hair from his navel to his-

_ Stop _ . She needed to  _ stop. _

She didn’t. Her eyes drifted lower and she saw the obvious outline of Damian’s cock twitch under the soft cotton fabric. Was he just as far gone as she was?  _ Ugh _ . She didn’t want to think about it, because it was going to make all of  _ this _ even worse. Heat colored her face and she looked back at the files, trying to remind herself that they were  _ saving the world _ , and she didn’t need to think about riding him every free moment of the day. 

Damian grabbed his cup and turned to face her again, taking a cautious sip. He glanced out the window, taking in the city for just a moment before he spoke again. “You know I can feel your emotions, right?”

She winced.  _ Right _ . Their bond. She pushed at her hair and opened another file on the computer, still desperately trying to distract herself. “Sorry.”

There was a long stretch of silence as he stood there, watching her and drinking his coffee. Raven finally found herself focusing on his notes, before she heard him speak again. “I have been catching some  _ curious _ thoughts.” He took another sip, eyes meeting hers over the rim of his mug. “All you have to do is ask.” 

Heat curled up her neck again, and she looked back at the laptop screen, flicking through another file. “What are you talking about?”

“The Robin mask.” He set his coffee mug down on the counter and looked at her with a knowing smirk. “I’m told it’s perfectly normal to have a Robin fantasy.” 

“Oh gods. Please stop talking.” Raven’s head fell into her hands, shame coloring her face. She really,  _ really _ didn’t want to be talking about this right now. Not when she was trying so hard to focus on their mission together. “I don’t ever want to have this conversation ever again.”

“Even if I offer to wear it? The mask, I mean.” His voice felt like shadow, slipping into all of her broken cracks and wiggling under her skin. She was being invaded by every part of him, and Raven didn’t know if she could fight it. Damian tried to look casual as he took another sip of his coffee. “Jon won’t be back until tomorrow… and if you’d like to…  _ indulge _ … well, you know I can’t deny you anything.” He leaned over the kitchen island counter, his fingers easing the laptop shut. “Although be advised that if the situation calls for it,  _ Robin _ might have to handcuff a perpetrator, so… keep that in mind.” 

Raven swallowed and looked back up into his eyes, trying to keep her own face unreadable. The thought of her being handcuffed while Damian had his way with her made her whole body light up. She swallowed a shaky breath and opened up her laptop again, pretending to be unaffected by him. “Who are you and what have you done with my boyfriend?”

His face slipped into its usual steely mask and he cocked his head to the side, watching her with dark eyes. “I’m not always so serious, you know.” 

“You are with me.” Raven, in spite of herself, found herself  _ liking _ who Damian was around her. With other people he was serious and in control, but the more time they spent alone, the more he let his guard down. He  _ teased _ her, and she… she liked it. She liked watching him give control to her, and she liked seeing who he was when he didn’t have the weight of the world pressed against his shoulders. Including indulging in some of her more…  _ unorthodox _ fantasies. 

She watched him for a long moment. “If you think you can catch me.” Raven closed the laptop, knowing she wasn’t going to be able to focus until this was purged from her system. So… she might as well give in. “If you think you can catch me, then I’ll go  _ willingly _ in handcuffs…  _ Robin. _ ”

He looked surprised for a moment before his lips pulled to the side in a devious smile. “ _ Oh, will you?” _

_ Oh, heavens help her. _


	11. Chapter Ten

His mind felt…  _ fickle _ . And he  _ hated _ that. Damian rubbed his forehead and tried to throw himself into his work for what seemed to be the hundredth time that hour, desperate to not let his thoughts wander too far out of his grasp. Raven kept making him think, and overthink, and then think some more. It felt like every thought he had was spiraling out of control as he tried to pin each new realization down. And, there were  _ so many _ new realizations.

Raven and him were connected by magic again. Which likely meant that  _ he _ was going to have magic again. Blood was raising a cult on earth to try and open a portal to bring Raven here,  _ and _ he was working with Trigon. He had been tormenting Raven for months, possibly years. But he didn’t seem to know that Raven was on earth. Damian’s mind felt like it was racing, running through every scenario and picking apart every clue until he was failing to see where he started. There was so much to consider, and so much to think about. 

Damian Wayne  _ did not _ get overwhelmed, and  _ yet… _

He shook his head and turned back to his computer, shoving his racing thoughts out of his mind. What he  _ needed _ to do was finish this report for Tim. And then there was-

Without warning, Damian felt his stomach give a twisting, painful lurch, and he spilled forward, his hand clutching his heart. He felt like his world was disintegrating around him, shattering as his whole body stuttered.  _ Raven _ . Something was wrong with Raven. Panic filled his lungs and he searched around, trying to piece together exactly what was happening to her. He stumbled to his feet and made his way to the door of his office. It felt like when he saw Raven in her dream - like the world was crumbling, and yet she was somehow part of it. It felt like… this was  _ her _ . These were her emotions flooding him faster than he could process them. 

He threw open the door, trying not to keep his thoughts clear and his breath calm as he made his way into his kitchen, where she had been working all morning. Damian let go of a soft sigh of relief as he saw her where she had been sitting before, her body hunched over his laptop as she worked through the files from Dick. With another curse, he made his way to where she was sitting, watching as a single tear spilled over the curve of her cheek.

_ Oh no. _

“Raven?” His fingers slid along her arm, stepping closer to her. Damian wasn’t exactly  _ well versed _ in the art of comforting others, but for Raven he would try. “Is there… something wrong?”

She lifted her head and wiped at her eyes, her whole body shuddering with the movement. She tried to force herself to remain calm, but her control shattered before she could force herself together. Muttering more to herself than to him, Raven pitched forward and wrapped her arms around him, as if she needed to find comfort and solace. Damian stiffened, and he glanced down at the top of her head for a moment before he ran his fingers through her hair, trying to soothe her.

“Raven…” He pulled her close, that hollow feeling in his chest weighing him down and pinning him to her and to this moment. Raven tucked her head under his check, sobbing into his chest. As she forced herself to take deeper, calming breaths, Damian glanced over her shoulder to see what had made her react like this - it was a picture of the sacrificed raven on the screen. The one that had been at the last crime scene -  _ the sacrifice _ .

Something in his stomach turned to stone, and Damian looked back into her face, trying to read her expression. Whatever this bird meant to her, its death was  _ devastating. _

“ _ Zinthos _ .”

Damian was quiet as he waited for Raven to explain, his fingers still trailing up and down her back. Raven leaned deeper into his embrace, swallowing another choked sound as she tried to calm herself down. 

“It’s Zinthos.” She took a deep breath and let it out slowly, her voice shaking as her fingers dug into his shirt. “He was my raven in Azarath.” 

Damian let those words settle over him with all the delicacy of a freight train. 

_ Fuck _ . 

_ Her _ raven. Her raven in  _ Azarath _ . This bird, which did  _ not _ belong anywhere  _ near _ this dimension, somehow managed to find itself summoned to this earth, and subsequently sacrificed. Which meant that Blood had somehow succeeded in bringing a piece of Azarath over to this plane. Damian pressed his lips together and took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. Every muscle in his body ached with the need to protect her, and he had to fight against the irrational urge to panic and steal Raven away. 

Instead, he kept his thoughts as calm as he possibly could, and tried to remind himself  _ who _ Raven was - a sorceress, the daughter of a demon, and by all means:  _ a warrior _ . Raven was strong, they were developing a plan to fight this  _ together, _ and with his family and their friends. And, as much as he wanted to try and wrap her up and protect her from  _ all _ the things that wanted to harm in this world, he needed to remember that this was  _ Raven _ . She was more than capable of taking care of herself. 

“He was sacrificed.” She took another deep breath and pulled away, walking away from Damian and running her fingers through her hair. He could see magic start to snap at her fingertips, and he stood by the computer, knowing when to give her space. “He was brought to this plane of existence just to… to  _ die? _ ” She spit out a curse and looked up into Damian’s face, her eyes darkening with power. “And for  _ what? _ What  _ purpose _ did that serve? To try and find  _ me? _ ” 

Damian kept his face calm, but he could feel the anger starting to boil inside her. It crackled at the tips of her fingers, and it burned in the pit of his own stomach. Through their connection he could feel her conviction - she was going to cause Blood  _ pain _ . His lips twitched and he fought back a smirk, watching her pace for a moment. She was calculation, thinking, piecing all the information together, and there was something about watching her that left him in awe. 

Raven straightened her back and turned towards him. “Metrion must be beside herself. They were a bonded pair… and  _ Blood _ just tore them apart.” Her hands clenched at her sides, and she forced her magic back in-check. “ _ That feckless bastard. _ I swear I’m going to rip his soul from his body and feed it to my father myself.”

_ Scary _ . Damian bit the inside of his cheek to stop from smiling, but his heart swelled with pride. Even without this bond between them, he was destined to fall in love with someone like her. He reached for his phone, flicking through the contacts. “I’ll get in contact with Constantine and try to get him over as soon as he can.” He paused and glanced up at her. “Raven… if Blood was able to bring Zinthos here, then that means he wasn’t far behind finding you. He’s going to keep looking for you - everything else be damned.”

“I  _ know  _ that.” She let go of a growl before her head fell into her hands. A moment passed as she wiped at the dried tracks of tears running down her cheeks, her hands shaking. With a dark and determined expression, she met Damian’s own eyes. “I know, and I appreciate that I’m safe and that you and your family are keeping me safe. But…  _ Zinthos? _ He was a  _ bird _ , he had nothing to do with this, and no purpose in any of this stupid nonsense with my father.”

Damian nodded. “Blood was trying to get to you.”

“Well,  _ it worked _ . Message received.” Raven snapped her teeth. “I will choke him with my own hands if I have to.”

Damian took a deep breath and let it out slowly, pausing to close the laptop. “I’ll contact Constantine,” he repeated, trying to keep his voice calm. “And I’ll reach out to our friends and my family. We’ll figure this out  _ together _ . We won’t let him get away with this, Raven.”

Raven gritted her teeth and looked out the window, glaring at nothing in particular. ” _ Good. _ ”

-

“ _ Not good _ .”

“I  _ know _ .” Raven was seething, her hands splayed out on the kitchen countertop, her eyes flicking around the space. Zachary and Dick were sitting in the stools at the kitchen counter, while Constantine paged through Dick and Raven’s notes on the case files. Jon and Dami were hovering behind her in the kitchen, looking like two overpowered bodyguards that were ready to jump into action at any moment. Raven reached for the mug of coffee in front of her and tapped her fingers along the white porcelain. “Zinthos was  _ my  _ raven, born and raised in Azarath. He shouldn’t have been able to come here.”

“So… Blood has been able to bring something from Azarath to this plane of existence?” Jon leaned against the countertop and shifted, his lips pulling down into a frown. “I… didn’t think he had gotten that close to doing something like that?”

“None of us did.” Dick rubbed the back of his neck, still trying to process what Raven was saying. “Honestly, we had all thought that he didn’t have enough strength yet.”

“He  _ could _ have renegotiated terms with my father.” Raven handed Damian her empty mug and he moved to make her another cup, knowing that it probably wasn’t good for her. She was exhausted and she needed real, decent rest. But, after the dreams he had witnessed this morning, the  _ last _ thing Raven needed was to go back to sleep. The more she was asleep, the more likely Blood was going to realize she was on this earth… and the more she was going to have to suffer through those nightmares. 

Damian paused and thought for a moment, running his thumb along his jaw. “If he renegotiated terms… it could mean that he’s getting more power.”

“Or…” Dick crossed his arms over his chest. “It could be the cultists he’s been recruiting.”

Constantine looked up from the computer and groaned, running a hand over his face before taking another gulp from the glass of whiskey next to him. “And how many cultists  _ has _ he been recruiting? Because there is  _ power _ in belief -  _ a lot _ of power.” He took another drink and looked Dick dead in the eyes, grinning. “For example, I personally believe you have a very  _ fine ass _ , and  _ I _ believe that I’ll find it in my bed later this evening.”

Raven’s face fell. “ _ John. Focus _ .”

“Can’t blame me for trying, love.” Constantine turned back to the computer and flicked through the files before letting go of a low whistle. “Blood has been  _ busy _ recruiting. We’re talking  _ thousands _ of followers? Not bad for two years worth of work.”

“That’s all we know of so far.” Zachary shifted in his seat. “GCPD has only investigated six reports of the cult so far. There could be more followers that we’re not aware of.” 

“We also believe that many of the recruits aren’t exactly  _ willing _ either.” Dick moved closer to Constantine and hovered over his shoulder, ignoring Constantine’s ridiculous smirk. He reached over and pulled up the statements from some of the de-programmed cultists they had managed to rescue through raids. “Whatever Blood is doing is clouding their logic. They’re not themselves when they make decisions.” Dick stepped back. “We’re not sure if it’s magic or something else.”

“Drugs?” Constantine leaned back and looked at Raven, humming. 

“Not that we’ve found.” Dick shrugged. “If it  _ is _ a drug, it either leaves their system quickly or it’s a substance we can’t detect.”

“Some of the cultists go willingly. Blood is…  _ coercive. _ Enigmatic and yet somehow easy to agree to.” She shivered and Damian took a half-step closer to her, placing a hand on the small of her back. He wanted to remind her that he was here for  _ her _ , no matter what. 

Right now, she was remembering what Blood had said to her years ago, and he could see that it still haunted her. Blood had been patient and calm, listening to her and then twisting her words and fears back against herself, so that Raven felt like the only option she had was to trust him. Raven took a deep breath and looked up at him, and Damian felt his world sharpen to a point. This was  _ Raven _ . The woman he had spent his entire senior year at the Academy trying not to fall in love with. A woman who could destroy worlds, and yet somehow hold onto such softness. She was strong, and he believed in her wholeheartedly. 

Raven shifted and shook her head, trying to wipe the memories from her mind. “He promises them things they want and they don’t have to agree to anything right off the bat… it’s  _ tempting _ . To a lot of people.”

“ _ You _ would have  _ experience _ with this, wouldn’t you?” Constantine lifted an eyebrow, his tone accusing. 

Zachary stood up, ready to defend her. “ _ Hey _ -”

“It’s alright.” Raven drew herself up, magic snapping at her fingertips as if to remind John who and what she was. “If you remember, John. This is why we’re in  _ this _ particular problem. I made a mistake, and I’m trying to fix it.”

Constantine held up his hands in defense. “I am not exactly the one to judge poor decisions and contracts that have no predetermined payments, Little Bird. Only making an observation given the state of things..” He leaned back in the chair and regarded the notes again, his lips tugging into a frown. “So… what’s the plan then? What do we do to try and head this off before Blood attempts to summon something or someone else from Azarath? Or, worse, realizes Raven is already  _ here _ .”

“We were alerted to a possible meeting next weekend. This one is outside of Gotham, but the GCPD is working with the local police.” Dick shifted and glanced up at Raven, looking guilty. “Before…  _ Raven found out _ … Damian and I had already talked about infiltrating it if we were able to pin down its exact location. We need to see what is going on in there and what we can do to stop it.” He pursed his lips and thought for a few moments. “We have some leads, and I can pull some old strings I have with the department.” He looked at Constantine again. “If we’re able to get it, we would want you there. Any magic user would be  _ more _ than helpful. Even you.”

Constantine snorted. “Not sure if I’m supposed to take that as a compliment or an insult.”

Jon shrugged. “Probably both.”

“This is good news. It’s a  _ plan _ , or something like it.” Raven nodded, and for a moment she looked almost relieved. “Let me know where and when, and I’ll make sure I’m ready.”

The air turned heavy, and Dick and Zachary turned away. Jon cleared his throat, and Damian pulled his hand off her back. He hadn’t told her what was happening, but he should have. Raven deserved to know what they were planning, but they had chosen to try and keep the truth from her. Damian could feel Raven tense up, a frown pulling at her lips as she realized what was happening. Guilt stirred in the pit of his stomach, and she looked somewhere between furious and defeated. 

She took a deep breath and let it out slowly, her eyes darkening as she stared into Damian’s face. “You… had no intention of telling me that you were going out on another mission. Did you? It doesn’t matter that _all_ _of this_ \- Blood, Trigon, even _Zinthos_ \- is because of me. You just want to try and keep me away from _all_ of it.” She ground her teeth together and tilted her face up to his. “Am I really _that_ much of a liability to you?”

“No!”

“ _ Yes _ .” Constantine sighed and leaned back, finishing his glass of whiskey. 

“ _ John _ .” Damian narrowed his eyes. “That’s not what this is about.”

“Yes, Baby Bat.  _ It is. _ ” Constantine turned his steely stare towards Raven. “It doesn’t matter how strong you are, how much you’ve trained, how  _ ready _ you think you are for a fight.  _ You _ , Raven, are what Blood is searching for. You triggered a trap the last time you were at a site, you brought a  _ demon _ to this earth to search for you, and there weren’t actual people there - think of what could have happened if there were innocent bystanders and  _ not _ a small group of skilled vigilantes.” He leaned forward and pointed a finger at her. “And, if I need to remind you,  _ you _ are Trigon’s only daughter. You’re a magical, ticking time bomb ready to go off at any moment. You are  _ deadly _ , to everyone around you, love.” 

“ _ John. _ ” Damian growled, his hands clenching into fists at his side. The emotions inside him were warring, and he felt ready to break Constantine’s nose. Jon wasn’t looking much better either. “Shut  _ up _ . You shouldn’t-”

“ _ No _ . She needs to hear it. She’s been protected from humans by the strength of Azarath, and she needs to  _ really _ realize how absolutely dangerous she is. If she triggers another trap, if she alerts Blood to her presence, if Trigon even gets a  _ whiff _ of her, then this whole world is going to crumble under the force of her powers.” John stood up and went to where Damian kept his whiskey, pouring himself another glass. “She needs to understand the risk she puts  _ everyone _ in by simply being this close to the mission.”

“Well, I’m not going to just  _ let _ you fight  _ my _ battles without me.” Raven’s powers snapped out and she grabbed the bottle out of his hand, bringing it to herself. “If I hadn’t gone to Blood, if I had trusted what the monks told me, if I wasn’t so worried about Damian, then none of this would have  _ ever _ happened. We’d never be…  _ here _ , trying to fix my mistakes. This is my fault-”

“Oh,  _ shut up _ . This wasn’t started because you made a shite deal with Blood.” 

Raven blinked and took a step back, obviously trying to process what he was saying. 

“ _ This _ was going to happen anyway.  _ This _ was unavoidable. Trigon was going to bring you to earth one way or another, and Blood just happened to be the easier choice.” Constantine walked over to where she stood and took the bottle out of her hand, glaring at her. “It didn’t matter when, or how, but  _ you _ were fated to come here,  _ you _ were fated to bring on the apocalypse, and your…  _ familiar _ over there was bound to meet you.” Constantine poured himself another glass and sighed. “ _ Honestly _ . For being as powerful and empathic as you are, I can’t believe you didn’t see or feel the connection between you and your cohort standing next to you like a trained dog.”

“ _ John _ .” Damian snarled at him. “I will throw you out the window of this building if you keep acting like this.” 

Constantine rolled his eyes, but seemed to back off just a little. “ _ Look _ . Your souls are entwined - his magic and yours. They’ve  _ always _ been entwined, since the moment you touched each other. If Trigon didn’t bring you here to this earth, if Blood didn’t bring you here, then  _ Baby-Bat _ would have. He is  _ destined _ to be part of you, and  _ all of this _ was going to happen in one way or another, so… don’t try to shoulder all of this as  _ your fault _ .” He ignored his glass and took a swig from the bottle, meeting her stare, as if he could read her thoughts. “It doesn’t matter that you severed the bonds you had before. They  _ will _ find a way to grow back, and they  _ will _ be stronger than before. Destiny doesn’t particularly like being defied.” 

Damian felt his heart drop into his stomach as he realized the weight of what Constantine had said.  _ Their bonds would grow back _ . They had already started to grow back. Two nights ago when they had defeated the demon sent from Blood and Trigon, they had done so  _ together. _ It  _ felt _ different, because it was. He glanced at Raven and she met his stare, her eyes wide with the same realization. Everything they had tried to avoid, the bonds they were worried about creating, they had started all over again. 

_ What had they done? _

Constantine snorted and set the bottle down, reaching for his glass. “And I’m guessing by the look in Baby-Bat’s eyes, that your bond has already started to redevelop.” 

“Raven…” Zachary’s voice was soft and careful as he spoke to her. “You didn’t say anything.”

“It’s… it’s  _ personal _ .” She flushed, and Damian glanced at his friends and family for a moment, as if daring them to try and say something. Raven shifted and took a deep breath, letting it out slowly, unsure of what to say next. “ _ All _ of this is  _ personal _ .”

“Well, not when the whole, bloody world is at stake it’s not!”

“ _ John! _ ” Jon reached out and grabbed the glass from John’s hand, nearly shattering the crystal as he glared. “Get some  _ tact, _ will you? Jeeze.” 

Constantine opened his mouth to snap back at Jon, but he somehow managed to  _ finally _ read the room. He offered Raven a sympathetic look, and he tried to reel himself back in. “Raven, look… you are without a doubt strong and capable, everyone here can see that. But you  _ are _ a liability. You’re too close to this. If Blood finds you, I don’t know if we have enough power to pull you back to safety. I trust  _ you _ , but it’s everything else that is the unknown.” 

As much as Damian didn’t want to admit it, Constantine had a valid point. Raven  _ was _ strong, but the moment Blood or anyone else figured out she was here, the last thin layer of protection would be gone. They weren’t ready to fight Blood and Trigon, and  _ win _ . They needed time and intel, before they made their next real move. Raven was  _ too _ close to all of this. Damian stepped up beside her and took her hand, weaving their fingers together and offering himself to her. Raven squeezed his hand for just a moment before dropping it. It was a sign that she was frustrated, but still willing to work with him - even if he’d pissed her off. 

“So, what?” Raven rubbed her forehead and glanced around the room, looking at her friends. “You want me to just… sit by? Watch while my friends and the people I love put themselves in danger?” 

“No. I want you to be diligent, and I think Dick agrees with me.” Constantine leaned against the kitchen counter and stared at her, as if he was calculating things in his head. “I know I can tell you that I don’t want you there, and that you’re a liability that I’m not willing to take, but it’s not going to matter. I know that you’re going to bully either Kent or Zee’s cousin into bringing you there - two nights ago was case-and-point.” He sighed and shook his head. “I’m going to regret this, but… you can come. But! You have got to stay back and watch and observe from a safe distance. And, if it’s safe to come in, then you can come. But  _ not _ until we tell you. Myself and Detective Fine Ass over there will take point, and you and Zachary will hang back until we think it’s safe.” He poked a finger at her. “ _ Do I make myself clear? _ ”

Raven leveled her eyes at him, snarling. “I’m not a child you need to babysit.”

“You are when you’re a magical nuclear weapon.” He huffed and continued to stare at her, waiting for her response. 

“ _ Fine _ .” Raven conceded with a sigh. “I will wait for your direction - what little there is of it.” 

Constantine gave her a thin, patronizing smile. “That’s all I ask.” 

-

Up here, in the silence of Damian’s balcony, it felt like the world stretched on for miles, leaving Raven alone to mull her thoughts over in her head. After everything that had happened today, she felt jumbled, like all of her pieces were messed up, tossed around until nothing made sense anymore. She closed her eyes and dropped her head into her hands, trying to pick apart the truths she had been told.

_ Her familiar. _ Damian was her familiar. What in the world was she supposed to make of  _ that? _ She had thought that when she had made the deal with Blood, that this would all be over - Damian would go on with his life and she would return to Azarath. She hadn’t considered that destiny might try to reshape itself and force them back together - that there was always going to be an invisible force trying to bring them into each other’s lives. It made sense, but it didn’t mean it made things easier either. 

“You look exhausted.”

Raven jerked and watched as Damian stepped out on the balcony, sitting in a chair next to her. She turned back to the skyline, letting silence settle softly over them both. A part of her was still upset that he had kept so much from her, but she had barely known that he was Robin for two days. She needed to remember patience, even if it felt like they were so close to ending all of this. They had spent the entirety of the evening making a plan, and now all of this felt…  _ real _ . They were so close to finding Blood, so close to stopping her father, so  _ close _ to everything, that it almost felt like she could  _ taste _ her true freedom. 

She wanted all of this to be over - she wanted  _ normalcy _ . The normalcy she craved years ago when she lived at the Academy.

“I haven’t slept well in two years. I  _ am _ exhausted.” Raven pulled her knees to her chest and sighed, her eyes following the path of a helicopter. She chuckled to herself, glancing at him from the corner of her eyes. “Although, admittedly, I have been sleeping better these last few nights. You’re very good at wearing me out.”

Damian snorted, but she caught the slight lift of his eyebrow and twitch to his lips. Another moment passed, and he let a heavy silence settle over them both, as if trying to choose his next words carefully. 

“Your familiar.”

Her shoulders tensed, the word sliding down her spine like a threat and a promise. The way Constantine talked about it, it felt more like he was a  _ soulmate _ , but Raven felt like that word was too heavy, even for her.  _ Soulmate _ was something more than what they were - more than lovers in arms - and she wasn’t sure if she was ready to face that just yet. She still needed time to process everything. 

Raven ran her fingers through her hair and let her feet fall against the cement. “This doesn’t change anything between us.”

“I think it does.” Damian turned and stared at her, his eyes dark. It was in that expression she saw so much more of him than he had ever shown her before. He looked raw and open, and Raven couldn’t look away. The only thing she could see was Damian, and every part of him that was now so suddenly different. “We knew what I was when we were back at the Academy. We knew I was a familiar then, and now… it’s happening all over again.” He pressed his hand against his chest, just over his heart, and took a deep breath. “I can feel you, Raven. Just like I did back then… maybe even more. I can feel your emotions - your sadness when you learned about Zinthos, and your anger at Constantine - and me - when you didn’t like what we had to say.” He smirked, almost teasing. “Your pleasure when you’re about to come.” 

Raven gave him a flat stare before softening her expression. She didn’t want to chain him to her, she wanted him to  _ choose _ to be with her, whenever he was ready. “I know it’s a big change, but we’ve fixed it before and we’ll fix it again.”

Damian stared out at the skyline with her, a heavy silence settling over them both. “I don’t want to.” 

Raven swallowed, her heart pounding in her throat. What was he  _ saying? _ “What?”

“I don’t want to fix it, and I don’t think you do either. I don’t think we  _ need _ to fix it.” He took a deep, shaky breath and let it out slowly, trying to piece together his thoughts before he spoke. “When we were at the Academy, I thought I had everything figured out. I thought I knew what I wanted, who I was supposed to be, and where my life would lead me. And then you came, and… everything was different.” He paused and glanced back at her, his expression dark and unreadable. “I thought I would want those same things, so I fought against you and what you were supposed to be to me.”

Raven waited, feeling as though the world had faded away, leaving them both standing there.

“And then I lost you. You made the choice to return to Azarath for the good of this world, and for the good of you. But… I didn’t want you to go. I  _ loved _ you, and when you left… I didn’t know what I wanted anymore. Nothing made sense. So, when you came back, and you were with me, I knew what I wanted had changed. I wanted you. I still want you. Beside me - fighting with me, challenging me, protecting me, and making me grow stronger.  _ I want you _ , more than anything else in this world, Raven.” 

He sat there in silence for a long moment, and Raven struggled to think of something to say, but nothing came out. He wanted her. He  _ still _ wanted her. Even after everything that changed his plans and who he was, he still wanted to be a part of her life. Raven felt like her heart was going to explode, and she looked up into his face, watching the thin light of Gotham’s night sky bathe him. 

“I… want you too.” 

And for the first time in what seemed like forever, he smiled a genuine smile, and Raven’s whole body melted. Everything felt out of their control, a terrible mess they didn’t know how to contend with, but… at least they had each other. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not in love with this chapter, but I got tired of looking at it, and I had things I needed to say so I could just move forward. Thank you so much for your patience.


End file.
